Posts by technogirl

technogirl

Mar 18, 2009

Undergraduate / SMU Essay; Achievements and Volunteer Work [9]

hahhah, you are the same like me, SMU is also my back-up plan , and I don't prepare to take the national exam too ^^. Of course I know you study in KL highschool, that why I'm really surprised when I first read your Lafayette essay,it's so good, I tink you will be accepted by Lafayette^^ and I thought you are Amser or Chuyen Ngu LOL.

And do you know SMU requires interview beside essay and SAT score? I'm quite afraid because my SAT score is not high T.T

Anyway, I study in CVA. It's nice 2 meet you. this account belongs to one of my friends.

technogirl

Mar 16, 2009

Undergraduate / SMU Essay; Achievements and Volunteer Work [9]

hey, kofpower, are you VNese? I'm VNese too. It's nice to meet you. your essay is quite good but I have to admit that I prefer your other essays, especially the Lafayette essay. I love it ^^

Do you study in Thang Long Highschool? cool, we could be friend. Hope we will be accepted by SMU.

technogirl

Mar 12, 2009

Undergraduate / SMU essay (took part in the victory) [19]

wow, It's a good idea. I will do it and I will post my essay later. thanks

technogirl

Mar 10, 2009

Undergraduate / SMU essay (took part in the victory) [19]

Once again, I have to thank you Kevin, Sean. I admit that I'm totally assured about my intro after reading your comments. Even though I had already summit that essay, there is one thing I want to know : do you think my body okay? I mean my 3 achievements, I feel a little bit that they're quite short, should I focus more about that? I just asked that because I hope to get more experience every time I write an essay.

Thank you,

technogirl

Mar 9, 2009

Undergraduate / SMU essay (took part in the victory) [19]

thank you guys, especially Kevin and Sean. You guys did a wonderful job for me. You made me much more confident to write this essay. I've just summitted my essay. And one thing I want to ask you is that "Do you think my intro bad? I mean too long and ribald?" One of my friends said that and he really makes me confused.

technogirl

Mar 7, 2009

Undergraduate / SMU essay (took part in the victory) [19]

thank you Kevin, and Sean,
this is the conclusion I just revised,
Earning my first money taught me how hard my parents must be to earn money, to learn to treasure everything I have. It's really a meaningful gift that the life gives to me when I was 17.

I love and I'm proud of what I have, what I achieved and what I learned. I believe that What I got today will help me achieve my future goal.

plz help me correct it, it's really difficult to write an open-end and make the readers think ^^ because Vnese student usually write close-ends

technogirl

Mar 6, 2009

Undergraduate / SMU essay (took part in the victory) [19]

thank you Kevin, but I don't understand At the end... can you wait until you are feeling really inspired ?? do I need make it more inspired? and Could you give me some advice how can I make the reflection about future? could you suggest some example? I'm sorry but I'm not good at Literature, especially in writing at all

technogirl

Mar 5, 2009

Undergraduate / Texas Austin - (rat surgery) [7]

I love this essay, your topic is really creative, totally love it!

technogirl

Mar 5, 2009

Undergraduate / SMU essay (took part in the victory) [19]

thank you, all of you, especially Kevin.
I have just finished revising it. However, I think there are still some problems, please help me
I've read this sentence somewhere in my books :Until we are old, we suddenly realize that our life is just an enormous photo-album that records and captures every memorable moments. This saying used to obsess ma a lot. What will I put in my own photo-album? If I could capture my entire 17 year in one photo-album, I will definitely put all my achievements in first pages so that every time I view, I could be proud of my self and have more motivations to live better.

It would be the time when I was chosen to go to City Competition in my school's team when I was grade 10. If you know how hard it is to be chosen, you would know how hard I tried to have my name in the list. It proved me that if you try your best and dare to dream, anything is possible.

It would be also the moment the first time I saw the disable children when I did my voluntary work in Hatay Disable Children Organization. It is the first time I learned about love, about sacrificing myself for others. Actually, this trip had taught me much more valuable lessons than any lesson I take at school, it's lesson about life, about living for others. I consider it as my achievement.

And it would be the time I receive my first salary from my part-time job as a salesman. Earning my first money taught me how hard my parents must be to earn money, to learn to treasure and save money. Indeed, it is the lesson which is hardly found.

...
There are still a lot of things I want to put I my photo-album but I know that all achievements have contribute to create a person like me today.

technogirl

Feb 28, 2009

Undergraduate / SMU essay (took part in the victory) [19]

I'm the newbie and my major is not English. So my English is really bad. Please help me, I need somebody correct it and make it shorter for me, okay. This essay makes me crazy!!

Topic: In not more than 300 words, list and describe highlight of your three most valuable achievements, contributions and experience in context of three activities...
_____________________________________________________
1500 m left...
I was totally exhausted. My legs didn't want to move on anymore. Some parts inside of me wanted to give up. At the time I intended to give, suddenly an image of the smile of my beloved disable kids appeared in my mind. Oh, it's the time I visited them while I was the Leader of the Volunteer Team., the time I learned about the love, about the sharing. Their angel smiles with lovely, naive eyes obsessed me and made me to join this Voluntary Marathon. I couldn't give up. I must move on...

800 m left...
Maybe this time I hardly can go on. Oh God, everything in front of me seems to be blurred. The only things I can see right now is the red ribbon in the end of the road and some guys in front of me. Wow, why is it like my competition exam? I still remember I was exactly how I am now: exhausted, nervous. At that time, I had to compete with 2 guys to be in the team of the City Competition. Studying overload and stresses depressed me. Seemingly, something inside of me called distinct made me study crazily. It made me try my best to compete with 2 guys to get what I aimed. And ultimately, I had my name in the list of Competition Team, of course by defeating 2 guys. ..My legs now seem to move faster and faster. I couldn't be defeated..

10 m final..
Finally, I was not the one who came first but I also took part in the victory of my team; we got the gold medal for the whole team. What I got from this competition is not only the perseverance nor the competing spirit, it is also the lesson about the love, about the sharing. This is the first time I do something for others, for my beloved angel kids.