nja2497
Feb 18, 2013
Undergraduate / Want to make a difference in the World; Why am I the perfect candidate? [3]
Thank you for all your help. I really do appreciate it!
Thank you for all your help. I really do appreciate it!
nja2497
Feb 18, 2013
Undergraduate / Want to make a difference in the World; Why am I the perfect candidate? [3]
Prompt:
Please summarize the reasons that you are applying for the ************ Program, how your participation in the program fits into your future educational and career objectives, and why you feel you are a good candidate for the program. You may also discuss your institute/area of research preferences and personal goals.
Essay:
My reasons for applying to the program are numerous and varied. First and foremost I want to make a difference in the world but more importantly I want to make a difference in the lives of many affected by the harmful effects of wounding diseases.
My passion for the field of science stands unparalleled to other topics of study. I am enthusiastic about studying the human body and trying to understand how and why things work.
This interest was sparked when I was made aware that my father had been diagnosed with diabetes. Upon learning that diabetes stands incurable; I vowed to aid anyway I can to help the advancement of the alleviation to diabetes.
Another reason for me desiring to undertake scientific research was formed by a close uncle of mine. At a young age in my life, he was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease and since then, I have witnessed his motor functions steadily degrade over time. As it stands today, there is no effective cure to treat Parkinson's disease but it is my hope that I can do something to help change that.
Immediately following my high school graduation, I plan to enroll into a university and double major in the sciences, preferably in the areas of biochemistry, microbiology, and/or genetics. After college, I look forward to attending graduate school to earn my doctorate in biology while beginning to work at a position in a laboratory conducting research my chosen field of study.
My goals in life, through my career, are to leave behind a legacy that people will embrace helping to pave the way for a brighter future. I yearn to make a difference in this world that will leave humanity better off and set the stage for bigger and better advancements in the future. My chief aspiration is to be a part of the team that formulates an effective cure for many cruel diseases such as diabetes.
It is my hope that with admission into the *************************** program, I will have the rare opportunity to begin enhancing my expertise in scientific research while jump-starting my future as a researcher studying to progress our understanding of the human body and its processes. The vast amount of knowledge that I will be able to take away from the duration of the program shall be key in achieving my goals and ambitions.
I am an excellent candidate for the program because of my wide array of skills and talents. I am excellent with computers as I have spent many hours of my free time disassembling, diagnosing problems, and reassembling them. I also enjoy working with other people as can be seen through the vast amount of time volunteering in my community. The total amount of time I have spent helping to serve my community this year alone totals up to over 170 hours so far.
Along with those two, I am a dedicated working determined to reach a status of excellent in everything that I undertake. I understand the the time and dedication that it requires to become expellent and I am prepared to give the program my all. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Any help revising or suggesting improvements if very much appreciated. I want to be accepted so badly so this essay needs to be in perfect condition by the time I submit. I will try to help others with their writing as you guys help me with mine. Thanks so much to you all!
Prompt:
Please summarize the reasons that you are applying for the ************ Program, how your participation in the program fits into your future educational and career objectives, and why you feel you are a good candidate for the program. You may also discuss your institute/area of research preferences and personal goals.
Essay:
My reasons for applying to the program are numerous and varied. First and foremost I want to make a difference in the world but more importantly I want to make a difference in the lives of many affected by the harmful effects of wounding diseases.
My passion for the field of science stands unparalleled to other topics of study. I am enthusiastic about studying the human body and trying to understand how and why things work.
This interest was sparked when I was made aware that my father had been diagnosed with diabetes. Upon learning that diabetes stands incurable; I vowed to aid anyway I can to help the advancement of the alleviation to diabetes.
Another reason for me desiring to undertake scientific research was formed by a close uncle of mine. At a young age in my life, he was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease and since then, I have witnessed his motor functions steadily degrade over time. As it stands today, there is no effective cure to treat Parkinson's disease but it is my hope that I can do something to help change that.
Immediately following my high school graduation, I plan to enroll into a university and double major in the sciences, preferably in the areas of biochemistry, microbiology, and/or genetics. After college, I look forward to attending graduate school to earn my doctorate in biology while beginning to work at a position in a laboratory conducting research my chosen field of study.
My goals in life, through my career, are to leave behind a legacy that people will embrace helping to pave the way for a brighter future. I yearn to make a difference in this world that will leave humanity better off and set the stage for bigger and better advancements in the future. My chief aspiration is to be a part of the team that formulates an effective cure for many cruel diseases such as diabetes.
It is my hope that with admission into the *************************** program, I will have the rare opportunity to begin enhancing my expertise in scientific research while jump-starting my future as a researcher studying to progress our understanding of the human body and its processes. The vast amount of knowledge that I will be able to take away from the duration of the program shall be key in achieving my goals and ambitions.
I am an excellent candidate for the program because of my wide array of skills and talents. I am excellent with computers as I have spent many hours of my free time disassembling, diagnosing problems, and reassembling them. I also enjoy working with other people as can be seen through the vast amount of time volunteering in my community. The total amount of time I have spent helping to serve my community this year alone totals up to over 170 hours so far.
Along with those two, I am a dedicated working determined to reach a status of excellent in everything that I undertake. I understand the the time and dedication that it requires to become expellent and I am prepared to give the program my all. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Any help revising or suggesting improvements if very much appreciated. I want to be accepted so badly so this essay needs to be in perfect condition by the time I submit. I will try to help others with their writing as you guys help me with mine. Thanks so much to you all!
nja2497
Feb 18, 2013
Letters / IELTS Task1; Letter requesting my teacher to write a REFERENCE letter for me [4]
Don't begin with "I am really sorry to bother you." Your shooting yourself in the leg by beginning with that. Also if at all possible include an official program description, a resume, or any other materials that you are going to be submitting so that he/she can get a full idea of the type of person you really are. Lastly don't say "Therefore,it is vital for my career in the future." Your putting pressure on the writer to write an excellent letter of rec. Try to reword it so that it doesn't sound so clinical and life threatening. You want your writer to be honest and really give a true impression of you. Best of luck!
Don't begin with "I am really sorry to bother you." Your shooting yourself in the leg by beginning with that. Also if at all possible include an official program description, a resume, or any other materials that you are going to be submitting so that he/she can get a full idea of the type of person you really are. Lastly don't say "Therefore,it is vital for my career in the future." Your putting pressure on the writer to write an excellent letter of rec. Try to reword it so that it doesn't sound so clinical and life threatening. You want your writer to be honest and really give a true impression of you. Best of luck!
nja2497
Feb 18, 2013
Essays / Martin Luther King Jr.'s Letter From Birmingham Jail - need help interpreting prompt! [12]
Try to analyze his writing. Circle or underline any repeated words, anything with a strong connotation whether it is positive or negative, anything that stands out to you and label it. Also try to identify his audience and what he has done to address them. There are just two simple tips I have learned to get the ball rolling. Wish you the best of luck!
Try to analyze his writing. Circle or underline any repeated words, anything with a strong connotation whether it is positive or negative, anything that stands out to you and label it. Also try to identify his audience and what he has done to address them. There are just two simple tips I have learned to get the ball rolling. Wish you the best of luck!
nja2497
Feb 17, 2013
Undergraduate / Tastes/ Languages/ Religions; Summer Internship - Diversity; Interests/ Background [3]
Thanks so much! Yeah I've deleted some of the less interesting paragraphs and decided to put my fccus on one.
Thanks so much! Yeah I've deleted some of the less interesting paragraphs and decided to put my fccus on one.
nja2497
Feb 17, 2013
Undergraduate / Tastes/ Languages/ Religions; Summer Internship - Diversity; Interests/ Background [3]
Prompt:
At **************, we are committed to increasing the diversity (broadly defined) of students in the ****************. Please describe how your interests and background (in terms of culture, class, race, gender, ethnicity, work, hardships that you've faced or life experiences) would contribute to that diversity.
Essay:
When you ask most people what type of music they like to listen to or what their favorite TV shows are to watch, they usually answer with a specific genre or show. Unlike most people, I like to listen to every type of music and view almost every type of television show; with a quick peek into my music library, you can witness songs ranging from the likes of ********* to The ********* to **********. I have a wide array of tastes and passions, some that deviate from the norm, which I am capable of adding to the already astounding assortment on campus if I am accepted into the program.
Growing up to a ******** mother and a ********* immigrant father, I have become familiar with many unique cultures and traditions. I can speak in three different languages, one almost fluently and I am used to trying new things whether it is in the form of something edible or something intangible. Though I am a (religion), my mother and her family is (different religion), and because of this I appreciate the uniqueness of various religions.
While I currently reside in the **********, I was originally born and raised in the *********. The thought many people believe in, although quite stereotypical, is that ******* and the surrounding area is all just farmland full of wheat. Coming from the ********** and having been raised in both environments; I can alter their views showing them that *********** isn't much different from **********.
Through my travels, I have learnt to appreciate the diversity of people and their different views of the world. I have traveled abroad multiple times to many unique places and observed the differences in customs and lifestyles between there and the United States. A few months ago, I took a three week trip to Panama, a country affluent with history and culture. Although their history has huge interlineations with that of the United States, it is a whole different world with new places to explore and adventures to undertake all with a culture within its own.
Another way I serve to contribute to the variety on campus is through my involvement with different clubs and activities. I'm an avid volunteer who spends most ********* nights aiding in an understaffed local hospital from four to eight. This opportunity to help my community has led me to deal with many people on an information sensitive and personal level, allowing me to develop my relationship and communication skills and gain valuable skills both as a confident leader and as a cooperative team member.
During the fall and spring, I compete in soccer both as a part of my ********** team and as a part of the regional football club. Soccer is something that I admire, particularly, the skill and dedication it requires to fully master all aspects of the time-honored game. I have made many of my current friends through soccer and I understand the time and commitment it takes to be excellent.
I am also a founding member of the Bocce Ball Club at my *********. This club is dedicated to the sport of Bocce, the ancient roman-grecko sport of "ball throwing". The club originated as a way to spend more time with my friends after school but it has since grown to the point where we have 30+ plus members enrolled and more joining every week.
In my lifetime I have been exposed to a wide array of many different cultures and traditions. My experiences have allowed me to be open to cultures of all types; I enjoy getting to know people and better understand their various cultural backgrounds. I believe it is critical to explore and embrace your heritage. In my duration at the ***********************, I hope to connect with various campus communities to continue to help the ********** grow in diversity while introducing myself to fresh new worlds.
Can anyone help me? I feel a if this is just a bunch a disordered paragraphs. There is also a word limit that I am over so if anyone can help me delete excess words and make it more concise that would be much appreciated.
Prompt:
At **************, we are committed to increasing the diversity (broadly defined) of students in the ****************. Please describe how your interests and background (in terms of culture, class, race, gender, ethnicity, work, hardships that you've faced or life experiences) would contribute to that diversity.
Essay:
When you ask most people what type of music they like to listen to or what their favorite TV shows are to watch, they usually answer with a specific genre or show. Unlike most people, I like to listen to every type of music and view almost every type of television show; with a quick peek into my music library, you can witness songs ranging from the likes of ********* to The ********* to **********. I have a wide array of tastes and passions, some that deviate from the norm, which I am capable of adding to the already astounding assortment on campus if I am accepted into the program.
Growing up to a ******** mother and a ********* immigrant father, I have become familiar with many unique cultures and traditions. I can speak in three different languages, one almost fluently and I am used to trying new things whether it is in the form of something edible or something intangible. Though I am a (religion), my mother and her family is (different religion), and because of this I appreciate the uniqueness of various religions.
While I currently reside in the **********, I was originally born and raised in the *********. The thought many people believe in, although quite stereotypical, is that ******* and the surrounding area is all just farmland full of wheat. Coming from the ********** and having been raised in both environments; I can alter their views showing them that *********** isn't much different from **********.
Through my travels, I have learnt to appreciate the diversity of people and their different views of the world. I have traveled abroad multiple times to many unique places and observed the differences in customs and lifestyles between there and the United States. A few months ago, I took a three week trip to Panama, a country affluent with history and culture. Although their history has huge interlineations with that of the United States, it is a whole different world with new places to explore and adventures to undertake all with a culture within its own.
Another way I serve to contribute to the variety on campus is through my involvement with different clubs and activities. I'm an avid volunteer who spends most ********* nights aiding in an understaffed local hospital from four to eight. This opportunity to help my community has led me to deal with many people on an information sensitive and personal level, allowing me to develop my relationship and communication skills and gain valuable skills both as a confident leader and as a cooperative team member.
During the fall and spring, I compete in soccer both as a part of my ********** team and as a part of the regional football club. Soccer is something that I admire, particularly, the skill and dedication it requires to fully master all aspects of the time-honored game. I have made many of my current friends through soccer and I understand the time and commitment it takes to be excellent.
I am also a founding member of the Bocce Ball Club at my *********. This club is dedicated to the sport of Bocce, the ancient roman-grecko sport of "ball throwing". The club originated as a way to spend more time with my friends after school but it has since grown to the point where we have 30+ plus members enrolled and more joining every week.
In my lifetime I have been exposed to a wide array of many different cultures and traditions. My experiences have allowed me to be open to cultures of all types; I enjoy getting to know people and better understand their various cultural backgrounds. I believe it is critical to explore and embrace your heritage. In my duration at the ***********************, I hope to connect with various campus communities to continue to help the ********** grow in diversity while introducing myself to fresh new worlds.
Can anyone help me? I feel a if this is just a bunch a disordered paragraphs. There is also a word limit that I am over so if anyone can help me delete excess words and make it more concise that would be much appreciated.
