Posts by prettyboy

prettyboy_bn123

Mar 12, 2013

Writing Feedback / What are some ways to study for a test? There are several ways! [4]

.... I think what you mean here is the right time of the day;

i think what hes trying to say is focus on the difficult parts of the study, subject to study first, then move to easier parts

prettyboy_bn123

Mar 11, 2013

Writing Feedback / What are some ways to study for a test? There are several ways! [4]

There are several ways to study for a test. The first way is to choose the right place to study~~, which mean~~ without any distractions . Library is the best choice because it is a quiet place and has all kinds of support material that needed for study such as computer, dictionary, and major books. ~~Moreover~~Besides , he or she should not keep the cell phone around during study time because it may interrupt their concentration~~. Consequently, when the cell phone ring it may interrupt their thinking that impacts the focus~~ . ~~The second way~~ Secondly, is picking out the hard part to ~~study~~focus on first.

prettyboy_bn123

Mar 11, 2013

Scholarship / High opinion of Singapore's education; Me & my interest in this SCHOLARSHIP [5]

.... The sentence I have highlighted is pretty too long and better you re-phrase it

I really appreciate ur comment and here what i tried to change

'This is the reason why i took up Further Mathematics although i had to do it on my own because College did not teach full subject in the second year. I know it would be a big advantage for me to get to top business schools, but doing it along with other subjects would be very difficult'

prettyboy_bn123

Mar 10, 2013

Writing Feedback / Advertisement isn't the main reason which makes comsumers buy products unneccessarily [9]

Here's some of my suggestions, hope this helps

Nowadays, no one can deny the power of advertisement. For example, we can see a lot of advertisements on television and on the streets. ~~And~~We can easily realize that advertising service is a very important part of business (may be you can change to 'we can see a lot of advertisements on television and on the streets and it is a very important part of doing business"). Somebody think, the high sales of popular consumer good reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. This argument maybe true.

In my opinion, we should extend our view in two aspects of television . Firstly , the products on TV may look gorgeous and high quality with famous actors and effects. We are used to watch the advert with good looking people and great effects in it, which give us the false impression of the true quality of the products - another way for above sentence . ~~With that~~therefore , we would be attracted and tempted by them, and we would buy the goods without hesitation ~~or need it~~ . In my country - Vietnam? , consumers such as fan-girl, if they ~~saw~~see their idols ~~stand~~advertise for a product on television, they would buy that product ~~for supporting~~to support~~the one they like~~their stars even if~~the product is not the real need for them~~they do not have any needs for the products

prettyboy_bn123

Mar 9, 2013

Scholarship / High opinion of Singapore's education; Me & my interest in this SCHOLARSHIP [5]

I really appreciate your comment, about the career, there's section in the application's form i can fill in and i try to keep this essay in short. I did some adjustments to make it shorter, hope to make the points clearer to the selection panel, and see if anyone can give more comments on this, thx

prettyboy_bn123

Mar 9, 2013

Scholarship / I have a petite body type & I'm pretty attractive; Questbridge SCHOLARSHIP [3]

This is my opinion, im not sure its good or not, but hope it helped, we can discuss more on this:

~~I have a petite body type, and I am pretty attractive- a combination that can quickly spell disaster~~ (i am attractive and have a good looking body, which i think a combination that can spell disaster - can u elaborate a bit more?). ~~Martial arts helped me find the confidence in myself to know that nothing will happen to me because I won't let it . I feel as though even though I'm only 5'3", I can protect other people~~ (Martial arts has helped me find the confidence in myself and though i am only 5 foot 3, i feel i can protect anyone in need). ~~Going to college early has really helped me gain a work ethic. High school work didn't require me to study and plan in order to get A's~~ (after High school, I have learned much more about work ethics at College and now i am able to manage well myself in order to get top scores in class) . My hair has helped me learn not to get frustrated when things do not come out the way I planned and to try again with something new, or with the same thing a different way. ( i dont get this point?)

prettyboy_bn123

Mar 9, 2013

Scholarship / High opinion of Singapore's education; Me & my interest in this SCHOLARSHIP [5]

Hi everyone, i have recently finished this essay for my scholarship with word limit of 800, can u give me some comments on how to better it, thx everyone

"I was born and raised in Viet Nam. When I finished my last year at the Junior Secondary School for the Gifted, my parents and I decided that studying abroad would be the best option for me. After carefully discussing and risks calculating, I decided to do straight 2 years GCE A Levels at Wakefield College in England with a scholarship

I really enjoy subjects I have been studying in my A Levels, especially Mathematics. This is the reason why I decided to take up AS Further Mathematics in first year. In year 2, as the College did not provide full A2 Further Maths, I knew that to get a place in one of the top business schools in UK and in the world, Advanced Maths would be a big advantage, but doing it could lower grades of other subjects because I had to do it by my own. With self - motivation and passions, I took the risk. After two years, the risk really paid off, I got double A* for Maths and Further Maths and I was awarded 'Walshaw Teachers' Award for Achievement at Advance Level Mathematics' by Wakefield College.

Coming to Singapore and England have gained me valuable experience and study in a different language has made me work harder in order to meet the course objectives. I have found myself equipped with not only knowledge but also appropriate skills and attitudes that I need to perform and meet challenges in further education. I can work as an individual or in a team effectively and my accountability for working to deadlines has been considerably improved due to group assignments in class.

I want a life - changing educational experience and to challenge myself, which is the reason why I have chosen a degree course at SIM Global Education in Singapore, where it gives very good reputation for business.

I would love a scholarship so I can achieve my long term goal of getting an accounting degree and fulfill my dream because I know that education is the most important thing in my life and if I do not get it now, then it will be more difficult to get it back later. Besides, due to the financial crisis happened recently, my parent's business is now in debt and I was always anxious that my family's budget would cause me some difficulties to accomplish my goals.

I really need and do think I deserve this scholarship due to all the hard - work and determination I put throughout the years. Moreover, I am an international student who is not supported by financial aid and not allowed a work permit due to student visa. Without financial aid and part - time job, it has been so difficult for my parents to afford it. This makes the scholarship even more precious to me.

If I am given the opportunity, I can further my education without having to depend on my family so much and prove my worth to the SIM community"