Posts by Wolff88

Wolff88

Mar 15, 2013

Poetry / "when fate is really so true" (a piece of poetry) [11]

temptprovidence

Then perhaps this sentence needs revision. =)

If he hadn't claimed his life , he would have been more desperate .... So... It was better for him... See!"

The first part of the sentence means that he took his own life. You could change it to "if he hadn't succumbed to his injuries".

Wolff88

Mar 10, 2013

Poetry / "when fate is really so true" (a piece of poetry) [11]

I totally agree with Kitsumi. Yet I like the narration if I look past the grammatical errors. I have noticed most people write depressing poetry so it disinterests me. Not that I am saying what you wrote is bad. It is pretty deep in some places. I too used to write poetry but as I said it was easier to write about sad topics/emotions. My question is if Muhammad was such a devout muslim how do you justify that he took his own life when suicide is forbidden in Islam?

Maybe your college editor can help you fix the grammar. Its their job when students submit pieces. Also, perhaps you text a lot. People who text tend to use !!!! and ... In sentences. Grab an old SAT book and read its advice on writing. Its like a crash course for grammar.

My last suggestion would be to read what you wrote out loud. If you watch a lot of english movies or read a lot of books you will notice where your writing needs better flow. Dont think of it as poetry. It needs to flow smoothly.

Wolff88

Mar 9, 2013

Writing Feedback / GRE; Reliance on technology destroys the problem solving skills of people? [2]

First attempt at writing a GRE Issue Essay! Any comments would be appreciated. GRE exam is on April 1. Pretty slow at essay writing. This took me more than an hour. I was trying to follow Princeton Review instructions. =) Arrows (>>) represent a new paragraph.

As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate.
Discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, you should consider ways in which the statement might or might not hold true and explain how these considerations shape your position.

>>Does the human ability to think for themselves diminish as dependence on technology increases or does it stay unchanged? Although one might argue that increasing reliance on technology might destroy the problem solving skills of people, most of the technology in use is for human convenience. After careful consideration, it is certain that the ability of humans to think will not deteriorate, no matter how much their reliance on technology increases. Technology only aids humans in proceeding with tasks with little difficulty by saving time, effort and energy. It does not replace the human mind in analyzing and problem solving.

>>Now consider the use of home appliances, such as an oven, microwave, blender or dicer, in a kitchen. The sole purpose of such home appliances is to save time, effort and energy of the human utilizing the technology. The person using a blender to mix cooking ingredients still has to be the one to decide how to operate the appliance, which ingredients to use, how much of each and the duration of blending. Therefore, the use of and dependence on the home appliance does not affect the thinking processes of the user in any way.

>>Like the home appliances, dependence on transportation technology such as a car does not deteriorate the ability to think in people. A car simply serves the purpose of reducing the time taken to travel from one place to another. It would be problematic for the user to forego the car and reach his destination. Yet the inability to use the car, in case of accident, break down, etc., does not render him incapable of thinking of ways to get to his destination. The person will simply analyze all other means to get to his destination and choose one that gets him to his destination on time.

>>Those that would argue that use of technology deteriorates the thinking and problem solving ability of humans might point to the use of calculators by students. While it may be established that increased dependency on use of calculators reduces the speed at which students can solve math problems without calculators, it does not necessarily point towards deterioration in the thinking ability. It is simply a case of habit and adaptation. When a person is used to performing a task in a certain way, such as by use of a calculator, to perform the task in a different way will take more time. If the calculator is taken away permanently, overtime the person will adapt and solve problems by himself. Moreover, computers were invented to reduce the time it took to perform certain tasks. If humans set about to perform the tasks that a computer, even one such as a calculator, performs, it is bound to take them more time.

>>The examples above all support the idea that reliance on technology does not deteriorate the ability of humans to think for themselves. People rely on technology for convenience. If people have to perform tasks without the use of technology it would only require more time, effort and energy. If anything, reliance on technology leads to improvements in technology and such advancements are proof of the ability of humans to think for themselves - the humans are thinking of making life more convenient for themselves.

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