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Posts by jlion234
Joined: Mar 11, 2013
Last Post: Apr 3, 2013
Threads: 1
Posts: 4  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 5
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jlion234   
Apr 3, 2013
Writing Feedback / We look for the help by borrowing money from their friends to overcome the difficulties [7]

"For example, my friend borrow me 20$ and assure me of the repayment in 2 days. It will be nothing disappointed unless I get my money back after 2 weeks with four times refund."

"my friend let me borrow ..." would be a better option
*assured
Yeah this sentence needs to be rewritten.

"However, the fact is that there are a few ofpeople <who> can keep their words ."

I see where you're going with on your essay but give more reasons why borrowing money from friends can harm friendships. See if you can give a counterargument somewhere into your essay as well. An essay of this topic will not be short so you may need to go more in-depth on this.

Just out of curiosity, is there more to the prompt that just that topic question?
jlion234   
Apr 3, 2013
Essays / creative writting diary entries world war 1. [3]

For entry 1, you can elaborate on a battle that he gets sent out to. Maybe talk about the Battle of Marne or Gallipoli.

If anything, you go in chronological order using 1 and 3 and then as a side entry, write about the progress of the battle and the effect it's having on the captain which has him question the purpose of the war in general which in turn affects his ability to lead his men.
jlion234   
Apr 3, 2013
Undergraduate / Turning point of my life began with my interest in Journalism U of A PS [5]

Hi again. I finished typing up a version of my personal statement and I'd like to get feedback on what you think and what I should change. I decided to talk about the experience I had in my journalism class over the past 3 years. It may be a bit, strange with some points not fully explained but I hope the rest isn't as bad. Thank you very much for your replies.

Here is the prompt for the University of Arizona.

A personal statement is our best means of getting to know you and your best means of putting your academic performance and activities in the context of your life. There are no "wrong" answers. When you write your personal statement, tell us about those aspects of your life that are not evident from your academic record. Because personal statements are brief, they usually focus on one aspect of a student's life. For example, you could focus on a character-defining moment, a cultural awareness, a challenge faced, family background or cultural heritage, individual talents, academic commitment, or extracurricular activities. Tell us what you would like us to know about you in considering you for admission and/or scholarships.

Jovany Leon,

A turning point in my academic life took place in my sophomore year, when I signed up for journalism class. My interest in journalism began during 8th grade, although I was not as serious about it as I am now. During that time, my main focus in journalism was sports.

My first reaction to being a reporter assigned to reporting for sports was exhilarating, yet nerve-wracking. I enjoyed attending the various soccer matches, basketball games, and track meets, but getting there was a hassle, and interviewing was new to me. To make the experience more memorable, during that year another reporter and I had a friendly competition to see who could write the best reports and we competes for which stories would be published in the current issue. All of this helped my analytical and communication skills to flourish.

Going into my junior year, I had lost interest in covering sports, and ironically I was promoted to Sports Editor for the work and effort that I put in for the newspaper last year. The new school year felt weird because many of the staff graduated or did not return for various reasons. I continued to be the sports editor, but I decided to seek other areas that broadened my sense of the world around me and which ultimately helped me mature as a reporter, and as a person. I sought to work on stories that had an impact on students.

I started to form ideas for stories from topics in my AP History and English classes. For example, my AP History teacher talked about the phenomenon that is product placement. I wrote an opinion piece which I hoped would make my fellow students aware of covert advertising in their favorite television programming. From there, I began to feel more comfortable about expanding my interest and developing them into stories and opinion pieces. With this renewed confidence, I was motivated to report on the situation that was going on in Arizona. The story that was significant was the banning of cultural texts in the Tucson school district. Reporting on this story was significant because some of the books that were on banned list, were books that my friends and I read in classes like House on Mango Street by Sandra Cisneros and The Tempest by William Shakespeare

In essence, journalism gave me my "voice." It helped me to uncover the nuances of what I was learning. I felt empowered to express my perspective of the world and have my peers read it. This year as editor-in-chief, in a managing position, I continued to mature. I have learned to assert my authority with my staff and compromise with my advisor and school administration. I've learned what liability means and I've learned that networking with people who can help me out is important. I hope to use these skills to develop a career in journalism =, maybe even being a foreign correspondent someday.
jlion234   
Mar 11, 2013
Undergraduate / Turning point of my life began with my interest in Journalism U of A PS [5]

HI, I'm applying to the University of Arizona and I'm interested in majoring under Journalism (possibly print but not necessarily focusing in sports). How can I begin the PS with the fact that I rose up in my journalism class by starting off as a reporter, then moving up as sports editor to, eventually being Editor-in-Chief and mention the red flags like: my grades dropping (which that part is true)?
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