Writing Feedback / [IELTS] Housing shortage is the responsibility of the only government [2]

Please help me! Thank you a million!
Topic: Housing shortage in big cities can cause severe social consequences. Some people think only government actions can solve this problem.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Stepping into the golden era of unbelievably outstanding achievements, the new 21st century has also witnessed the ever-changing blooming population which has coincided with the remarkable shrinking of housing areas. Be this as it may, the escalating housing shortage problem has greatly captured the public's attention, raising different arguments among people of concern whether governmental actions are the only solution to the issue. This essay endeavors to promptly give the ideas from both sides of the controversy.

The proponents firmly believe that only the regulators can address this problem thoroughly because all the subjects in a society, whether individuals or constitutions, must abide by legislation. Following this, as the"visible hand" theory of John Maynard Keynes, the government can take specific actions to preclude drastic housing shortage from turning to the worst situation. For instance, the government takes steps to ease burden on house builders by tax reduction, which includes encouraging the banks to increase lending for those who wish to buy home. Nevertheless, this may sporadically lead to prominent corollaries that can be obviously proved with "the US bubble crisis" occurring since 2008 and prolonging till now, which was deeply renowned with the incredibly economic devastating.

The opponents, however, stand at the other side of this debate. From the economic perspective, the market must be operated by its own principles; also it is a place where the supple meets the demand and the price is set up. Needless to say, housing market is no exception. Therefore, there is an absolute necessity for one to save money if they tend to possess a house. In terms of providers, they also attempt to set a reasonable price to meet the demand and to obtain business efficiency that ultimately aims to make handsome profits.

Based on the above discussion and analysis, I am strongly convinced that governmental actions are not the only solution to the housing shortage. To figure out this problem, both the government and all the other subjects in the society, whether civil area or business field, whether individuals or organizations, must shoulder their share of responsibilities to tackle issues.

Writing Feedback / [IELTS] the best choice is spreading myself in the bed or doing nothing to take a rest; Leisure time [4]

Here is my essay. Please to correct it! Thank you very much!

Topic: Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time.

Discuss two views and give your opinion.

Along with the unimaginably rapid development of society, an overwhelming number of people find it difficult to shut off from demands of work and receiving education, consistently enjoy a little of that precious commodity, leisure - freely disposable time that we can use as we choose. Needless to say, how to use leisure time is persistently inextricable question. Whether spending the pastime on intellectual activities boosting the mind like reading books and doing word puzzles or exploiting the time by taking a rest has aroused considerable controversy. Before giving my personal perspective, I will discuss both points of view.

The first truth that can be seen by every person is that resting in mind plays a primary role to entirely recover all the body functions and refresh our thinking after being tied up with a backlog of work at the office. Naturally, the brain is likely to be an organism of the body, which need time to eliminate daily stresses and strains which easily leads to some chronic diseases if they are over accumulated, such as neurotic psychosis or obsession with every step in the life. As reported in an empirical research, the majority of Australians tend to lay themselves down on the couch and turn on the TV in the expectation that they can feel relaxed and gratifying entertained to compensate for their non-discretionary hours of work.

Nevertheless, there is another thing that deserves some words here. Activities that combine intellectual stimulation with relaxing, such as reading books or doing word puzzles, not only bring proportionately greater enjoyment and lasting gratification but also enhancing some certain skills necessary for the modern life without giving much consideration because in this cases the brain is kept acting at lower capacity. For instance, reading books helps us broaden our horizon, improve language skills and fertile our souls by drawing a largely colorful picture of life through imaginative thoughts. By the same token, playing funny word puzzles, especially with friends, can definitely keep us cheerier as well as we will get much more satisfaction. Furthermore, putting efforts in solving puzzles is a way to train ourselves to deal wisely with many troubles and embarrassment situations occurring in diverse circumstances.

From what has been discussed above, I think that no way is better than the other. Each one is appropriate for various cases. If I am in the state of being exhausted and running out of energy after a long working day, the best choice is spreading myself in the bed or doing nothing to take a rest. On other hand, provided that I do not stick into my job, I will challenge myself with puzzles or pursue some outside activities most suited to my natures, my talents, or even my whims.