Essays / Need ideas for a catching start, topic sentence or headline [7]

Hey,

I would advise that you seek conciseness and simplicity more than catchiness. It should be engaging but at times this ends up sounding generic and therefore the reader does not get a genuine sense of who you are. This is my personal opinion though :-)

Best!

Scholarship / "Power of Money"; SCHOLARSHIP- Field of Study and what has influenced mydecision [7]

Currently, I am freshman in Finance and Banking.

profession will enable me to fulfill all...

to gain achievements and growth

Passions

Being extremely impressed and my curiosity aroused by this movie, i gradually found out about what the securities are by asking my mom who has a lot of experience in finance. But on that time, maybe i have not enough ability to wholly understand difficult financial knowledge from my mother, and several years later when i grow up more, i started explore this issue by myself through newspapers, television programs, ... However, at that age I probably did not have the ability to fully understand the difficult financial terms explained by my mother, and several years later when I was older, I begun exploring these issues on my own through newspapers...

I always ask myself some questions

Etc. Just look out for grammatical errors and sentence revision. Success!

Scholarship / "Power of Money"; SCHOLARSHIP- Field of Study and what has influenced mydecision [7]

I think it is a good essay. I really liked the beginning. You have explained the origins of your interest in finance and the reason why the scholarship will help you quite well. I am applying for a scholarship myself and though I do not desperately need it, I am seeking ways to ease the financial burden of my sponsors. As temptprovidence said, just go through it (using word or wordpad) and identify grammatical errors. All the best and good job!