Writing Feedback / Persuasive Essay; Aboriginal children adopted into non-Aboriginal home [3]

My introduction: During the 60's there were an number of Aboriginal children adopted into non-Aboriginal home and other countries. Because this is the 60's the children were scooped from homes and communities without consent or knowledge of the families. A part of these adoptees face cultural and Identity confusion issues as the result of having been socialized and to change into a middle-class society. My first question is did I give enough background information to introduce subject? My topic sentence: to discuss how the scoop-up affects characters within this story? Of the book of "only drunks and children tell the truth" I have a first paragraph but not sure if this right? Example: (on page 12) Barb reveal about Janice/Grace identity when she say "The Children Aids Society" took her a couple moths later. Grace was taken by Canadian Aids Soociety from her parents and adopted out of the federal government when she was a baby. Her mother was acused of being unable to care for her child, and the government believed that her father had abandoned the family. In reality, her father. Had joined the military in order to support his family. Despite her mother's efforts she was never able to connect with her daughter Grace. As an adult, Grace goes to seek for her birth family. Do I have the point/proof and analysis that support the thesis for my support paragraph? For my second paragraph:another key component is the recognition that mistakes were made by governments in the past in regards to the residential school experiments and the 60's scoop to simulate was seen as a way for Canada to make some of the problem with fisrt nations.Children were taken from their home and put-up for adoption with non-Aboriginal families. In some cases, the children were placed in foster care until the reached adulthood, and were released into society effects without family/community or support. Example: (when Tonto say on the page 49), I was placed with Stones at age of five and bang, here I am twenty-seven years later, a fine human being. In the community there are a large number of native children living off reserve and in urban areas, a like number of Aboriginal children who are in care and in foster care do not have aboriginal-run organization. Aboriginal leaders who believe these children are losing touch with their cultural roots. The main ideas that I learned culture is the foundation to a strong community and consequently leads to strong families and individuals. We must be proactive in our to protect our children as the families that are becoming healthy, and children going to school learning to become strong productive adults. All of which indicate that this is not a productive system that's fits within our model as Aboriginal people. My last question is do u think I have my 3 paragph? And a conclusion? Please help me my assignment it's almost due and also my essay should be 1000 words. Thank you and I really apreciate for your help

Essays / "Only drunks and children tell truth"; need help with topic sentence! [3]

Hi! need some help to write an essay about this book " only drunks and children tell the truth"? By drew Hayden Taylor I need to discuss how the "scoop-up" affects characters within this story. do you think if this a good for my topic sentence: children were taken from their home for adoption with non-aboriginal families? Please help thank you