Writing Feedback / College years bring to individuals the experience and worth remembered memory [7]

Your "essay" has a first person perspective, which would really only be appropriate if the piece used personal experiences; you use no such thing. There are some minor grammatical errors (IE: "Subjects are required in the curriculum give us chances to get useful skills, also improve higher ability to add to our real life situations. ".), but they are overshadowed by the biggest problem with your writing (in my opinion) which is the content. You don't utilize any examples. Instead, you make very bold statements that are supposed to be seen as inarguable.

Scholarship / I'm from Baluchistan; my autobiography/ SCHOLARSHIP to study in America [3]

There are numerous spelling and grammar errors littered throughout your essay. The first two sentences, for instance, should be unified with a comma. "a part" should be "apart". "Collage" should be "College". "Riched" should be "enriched". There are many more... deficiencies throughout your writing. I would not be surprised if many people find it extremely difficult to believe that you have a good command of the English language despite these incredibly basic mistakes. Although I can grasp what you are trying to say, it is going to be inevitably difficult for anyone to correct the content of your essay. For example: If I were to rewrite the first three sentences of your work, I would excrete this:

"I am Javed Ahmed Khan and I belong to Baluchistan, district Pishin. I completed my education from Saint Francis Grammar school and I have a very proactive personality. In college I was very punctual and active in organizing conferences; I also took part in debate contests and participated regularly in sports."

As you can see, for the sentences to make sense to me, many words had to be removed and added to improve the clarity and flow. This kind of editing has great potential for changing the author's meaning, as I am unfamiliar with some of your usage of terminology. Your writing desperately needs a lot of editing, which is no doubt, why you are here in the first place. However, the amount of revision that needs to be done to make your essay comprehensible is quite extreme; if anyone else were to do it for you, it would not accurately reflect your intellectual property. I honestly do not know how to aid you. It seems as if the best course of action would be to take a course in English grammar, but I am unsure if that option is available to you.