Writing Feedback / IELTS- Using gap year for travel or working is good or bad? [7]

Please give me your comments!! Thanks in advance and have a nice day!:)
Topic:
Nowadays, it is quite common for young people in many countries who are encouraged to stop their studies for a year after finishing high school. Although the trend gives students useful choices whether they desire to travel or get a job, negative sides obviously exist.

Travelling and working have many advantages, especially for students who have less experience or and difficulty in financial condition. Those who have spent their time earning a living themselves, can become more independent. This is a very important element to deal well with study and research in universities. Additionally, travel is the best way to discover new things and gain a better understanding of people in the world with one's own eyes which are not written in books.

However, having a break from studies for a long time seems to be a big challenge getting back to the academic environment. More and more students find it hard to get along with courses in universities because of their perspective changes. For instance, if a young people get a job which gives them high salary and develop career skills, they could easily decide to dropout. But overall, I think this is rarely happen these days, when workers need to have academic qualifications to seek for a high position.

Thus, I agree that students should be allowed to take a year off. Schools could not show them such a valuable experience to broaden their mind and access to various aspects of real life. Those students usually are the most motivated and active ones.