binhpht
Dec 1, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 : Water consumption around the world [3]
Thanks for your useful comments. I'm so happy !
Thanks for your useful comments. I'm so happy !
binhpht
Dec 1, 2013
Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 1 : Water consumption around the world [3]
I'm very happy if anybody can review my essay and estimate score based on a ielts task 1 essay.
The line chart show the amount of water expenditure on three branches: agriculture, industrial and domestic consumption over a period of 11 years over around the world. The table compares water consumption per capita based on population and irrigated areas between Brazil and Democractic Republic of Congo in 2000.
It is clear that the water consumption was increasing over a period of shown, especially agriculture was by far the most rose compare to with other areas. Additionally, the amount of water used in each country affected on population and irrigated land.
Agriculture was particularly predominated in water consumption compare to industrial and domestic consumption from 1990 to 2000 and reaching a peak at about 3000 km3 in 2000 whereas industrial and domestic areas consumed more less the amount of water, with about 400 km3 and 700km3 respectively in 2000. The table indicates that population and irrigated areas were elements effect on water consumption on household. Brazil have more far number of people and irrigated areas than Democractic of Republic of Congo was that accounted for numerous water consumption than other such country with 359 m3 and 8 m3 respectively.
I'm very happy if anybody can review my essay and estimate score based on a ielts task 1 essay.
The line chart show the amount of water expenditure on three branches: agriculture, industrial and domestic consumption over a period of 11 years over around the world. The table compares water consumption per capita based on population and irrigated areas between Brazil and Democractic Republic of Congo in 2000.
It is clear that the water consumption was increasing over a period of shown, especially agriculture was by far the most rose compare to with other areas. Additionally, the amount of water used in each country affected on population and irrigated land.
Agriculture was particularly predominated in water consumption compare to industrial and domestic consumption from 1990 to 2000 and reaching a peak at about 3000 km3 in 2000 whereas industrial and domestic areas consumed more less the amount of water, with about 400 km3 and 700km3 respectively in 2000. The table indicates that population and irrigated areas were elements effect on water consumption on household. Brazil have more far number of people and irrigated areas than Democractic of Republic of Congo was that accounted for numerous water consumption than other such country with 359 m3 and 8 m3 respectively.
binhpht
Dec 1, 2013
binhpht
Dec 1, 2013
Writing Feedback / Do you agree that every organization has a right to set age maximum for the candidates ? [6]
I think you should add the comma in
In our contemporary world, most of the both governmental and private organizations are determining age limits for their staff. From my perspective, it is not the right management policy for companies and setting these restrictions in unfair towards employees.
I think you should add the comma in
In our contemporary world, most of the both governmental and private organizations are determining age limits for their staff. From my perspective, it is not the right management policy for companies and setting these restrictions in unfair towards employees.
binhpht
Oct 4, 2013
Writing Feedback / IETLS TASK 1; CHARTS on results of a survey of adult education [7]
Thanks for your suggest. I will correct follow you tomorrow. I hope you will help me for correct.
Thanks for your suggest. I will correct follow you tomorrow. I hope you will help me for correct.
binhpht
Oct 4, 2013
Writing Feedback / IETLS TASK 1; CHARTS on results of a survey of adult education [7]
Thanks for your correct. Im happy :)
Thanks for your correct. Im happy :)
binhpht
Oct 2, 2013
Writing Feedback / IETLS TASK 1; CHARTS on results of a survey of adult education [7]
Thanks for your correct
Thanks for your correct
binhpht
Oct 2, 2013
Writing Feedback / IETLS TASK 1; CHARTS on results of a survey of adult education [7]
Im studying IELTS. This is the first time i write essay. I hope any member this site can correct and review my article
The charts below show the results of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared. Write a report for a university lecturer, describing the information below.
Write at least 150 words, and spend 20 minutes.
My essay:
The bar chart gives information about the percentage of purposes adult education. The pie chart illustrates the opinions of various people about how tuition fees show be divided among society's member. Seen together, the results of surveys suggest a link between the reasons and studying cost for further education.
The reasons for taking education in adulthood are aggregated into three groups that have similar percentage. The largest proportion group includes interesting in subject and gaining qualifications as reasons account for approximately 40 %. The second group contains 3 reasons. Some people think that, continuous learning will be helpful for their job account for 22 %, others, slightly lower at 20% feel it will help them improve opportunities for their promotion, and remain people in this group are learning because of their enjoy study with 20 percent of total reasons. The third group make up a small minority percent, roughly 10%, they want to learn due to make new friends and change new jobs.
The pie chart indicates that 40 % people think that they will pay for their study by themselves. Other respondents at 35% show that employer should foot the bill for them. A small minority of people (25%) want government help theme by taxpayer service.
Im studying IELTS. This is the first time i write essay. I hope any member this site can correct and review my article
The charts below show the results of a survey of adult education. The first chart shows the reasons why adults decide to study. The pie chart shows how people think the costs of adult education should be shared. Write a report for a university lecturer, describing the information below.
Write at least 150 words, and spend 20 minutes.
My essay:
The bar chart gives information about the percentage of purposes adult education. The pie chart illustrates the opinions of various people about how tuition fees show be divided among society's member. Seen together, the results of surveys suggest a link between the reasons and studying cost for further education.
The reasons for taking education in adulthood are aggregated into three groups that have similar percentage. The largest proportion group includes interesting in subject and gaining qualifications as reasons account for approximately 40 %. The second group contains 3 reasons. Some people think that, continuous learning will be helpful for their job account for 22 %, others, slightly lower at 20% feel it will help them improve opportunities for their promotion, and remain people in this group are learning because of their enjoy study with 20 percent of total reasons. The third group make up a small minority percent, roughly 10%, they want to learn due to make new friends and change new jobs.
The pie chart indicates that 40 % people think that they will pay for their study by themselves. Other respondents at 35% show that employer should foot the bill for them. A small minority of people (25%) want government help theme by taxpayer service.
