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Posts by allyferns2495
Joined: Jul 10, 2013
Last Post: Jul 23, 2013
Threads: 2
Posts: 7  

From: United Arab Emirates

Displayed posts: 9
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allyferns2495   
Jul 22, 2013
Undergraduate / Love for the outdoors; Rutgers U - Trekking to Malaysia [4]

Rutgers University is a vibrant community of people with a wide variety of backgrounds and experiences. How would you benefit from and contribute to such an environment? Consider variables such as your talents, travels, leadership activities, volunteer services, and cultural experiences.

Being someone with a love for the outdoors always came with consequences in the past. It was never truly encouraged. Now, colleges willingly accept these very kids, focusing not only on their academic credentials but equally weighing their abundant talents. I consider myself a part of this select few, who have much more to offer than just academic grades.

I have given equal attention and importance to extra-curricular activities as I have with my academic education. I prize myself on being an all rounder and find myself multitasking under duress, successfully completing the task at hand. Beginning from Grade 9 onwards, I have completely immersed myself in community service, took up any leadership opportunity available and debated overseas. At the young age of 13, courtesy to an organization called the World Challenge, I found myself in the Rainforests of Malaysia on a 2 week long trek. I had gained so much from that one trip, becoming assertive, strong willed and an efficient worker. For the leadership half of it, each team member would become leader and were expected to guide the group to the next campsite. For diversity, we got to witness the culture of the local people while we dined and constructed schools for their community and saw the world through their eyes. Next came the debates in Year's 10-11, with us going up against other local schools in Dubai and coming out over the top. I attained the confidence and clarity required to speak in front of an audience. We were one of the best teams in the country and were chosen to represent the school in an overseas debating competition. With courtesy of the World Scholars Cup, we were victorious once again, having successfully completed all writing and debating tasks and were qualified for the international round that was to be held at Yale University. I learnt to be assertive and practice my skills as a leader while simultaneously respecting the views of my fellow friends and team member's .Back home in Dubai I became part of the Cambridge International School's basketball team, being on the team changed who I was as a person. It made me physically and mentally stronger whilst fine tuning my lesser qualities, thus making me more responsible and a hard working team player.

"Knowledge is power" and I couldn't agree more. Getting into a college does not only mean being educated and finishing with a degree, to me it is so much more that just education. It is the ability to work well with the world, accept the diverse culture and be successful at doing both while simultaneously influencing peers. I have always wanted to help the less fortunate with my skills and training that I believe I will receive in full abundance from Rutgers. The neuroscience department is especially attractive with its latest research programs and attitude towards the subject. I believe I would become a tremendous asset to the University since growing up in such a healthy community has imbibed in me the feelings of acceptance and respect for others. I would bring my out-of-the-box thinking and undying dedication to the Rutgers community, participating and indulging in everything the University has to offer as I look forward to making it my new home next Spring.

let me know if certain sentences need to be omitted due to irrelevance :) thank you!
allyferns2495   
Jul 22, 2013
Undergraduate / The only thing I fear is fear itself- for the common application!! :) [9]

i decided to tweek it a little bit :) let me know if its alright? just the last paragraph.

Should I have feared the cub and run as far away as possible? I wouldn't have done anything differently if given the chance again. This little encounter with something so small has made me realize that exploration in life is highly essential, right from the classroom and making friends, learning right from wrong to "fitting into" the bustling and demanding life of university. There is no text book in the world that would teach an individual this, one can only grow through personal experience and I am proud to have done just that. I have pushed myself to the limits of physical and academic performances, choosing rigorous programs in high school and travelling overseas on treks and community service. I have been successful and content each time, knowing I have explored my options, willing to take necessary risks and attempted completely new ideas. "You won't know until you experience it" they say, and I couldn't agree more.
allyferns2495   
Jul 22, 2013
Undergraduate / The only thing I fear is fear itself- for the common application!! :) [9]

hey! thank you so much for your response!! :)

I did mention that i was not completely FEARLESS in the last paragraph. this was just a small incident from my childhood that i am relating to my a current aspect of my personality, THE FEAR and the risk taking.
allyferns2495   
Jul 21, 2013
Undergraduate / WashU University Scholars Program in Medicine [6]

an extremely well written essay! :) i liked your style of showing your interest in medicine!

do you have any idea how to BEGIN this essay? i've been grasping at straws for weeks.

XXXXXXX University is a vibrant community of people with a wide variety of backgrounds and experiences. How would you benefit from and contribute to such an environment?
allyferns2495   
Jul 12, 2013
Writing Feedback / International and traditional music should be treasured and respected equally. [7]

corrections: cut outadditionspell check and suggestions

It provides tired minds with a healthy entertainment.

there are meaningful songs that teach invaluable life lessons and speak up for things that words are unable to describe , people identify themselves within the type of music they listen too.

should be preserved as national treasures . (instead of belongings)
On the one hand, traditional music represents for a region's identity as it undergoes momentus changes throughoutone's history.

passing

On the other hand, international music brings worldwide citizens closer as through music, mutual understandings and friendship can be attained across cutures and global peace is also developed.- for this point you'd want to develop on it some more and explain just HOW music brings about world peace and togetherness.

To sum up,music has had a fundamental impact on man kind since the beginning of our story and each kinds of music has its own merits which I believe should be treasured and respected equally.- you could use other words instead of "to sum up" it sounds... crude.. somehow.

hope I've been helpful and goodluck!
allyferns2495   
Jul 10, 2013
Undergraduate / The only thing I fear is fear itself- for the common application!! :) [9]

( free topic for the common app)

The only thing I fear is fear itself

My very first road trip was when I was just 5. My family decided I was now big enough to visit the zoo
with them; without bawling like most children do. Sitting strapped safely in the back seat of our car, our
journey began.

It took us a while to get to the zoo, but I sat there patiently waiting and humming to a song. When we
finally reached, I jumped out, unable to contain my excitement. The sights and sounds around were
overwhelming with children screaming and vendors selling ice- cream and cotton candy. After a long
wait, we finally managed to get in. The animals almost looked bored, dragging through yet another day
of visitors. The Lion looked most enthusiastic to impress the crowds that flocked around the enclosure.
Like most children I too was excited, standing on tip-toes trying to get a better look.

Suddenly I noticed a man striding across the lawn, he held something golden and furry that squirmed in
his hands; intrigued I broke away from the line towards him to get a better view. To my delight it was a
lion cub. He set the cub on the grass; I knelt down and began to pet it, letting it sniff and lick my hands,
feeling its soft fur beneath my fingers.

"Alysid!" my mother shouted in panic while my dad scrambled around looking for me. In no time the
zoo appeared to be in a greater chaos now than it was when we first walked in. Being totally engrossed
in the cub, I was oblivious to the fact that I was being called out. My contact with the cub was like
nothing IĆ­ve ever experienced before, the sharpness of its teeth and the softness of its paws; so
incredibly new and wonderful to the touch. I was more than happy to spend all afternoon with it.
A while later I felt someone gently touching my shoulder which made me turn around. Of course, it was
my mother, overcome with relief; she hugged the life out of me. I gently unwrapped myself from her
arms and pointed to the cub, wanting her to share in the joy I experienced with this amazing little
creature, playfully biting everything it could find. I leaned over, trying to get my hand in its mouth, to
see what the prick of its teeth against my skin would feel like.

Should I have feared the cub and run as far away as possible? I wouldn't have done anything differently
if given the chance again. This little encounter with something so small has made me realize that while I
am not entirely fearless, I do explore my surroundings and tend to take required risks necessary to
complete tasks on hand or even try something completely new. Even now, the fear of moving on with
my life in college and accepting a new family seems like looking at the fearful mane of a Lion not the
gentle face of a cub.
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