Posts by drifter702

drifter702

Jul 26, 2013

Writing Feedback / Some people want to be independent from their families as soon as possible and some other not [11]

Some people want to be independent from their families as soon as possible and some other people want to live with their families for a longer time for their own personal reasons

i think you should change this sentence because it's just repeating the question .

drifter702

Jul 25, 2013

Writing Feedback / Are you in favour of exams being abolished? [3]

Exam has been playing an important role in our education system, in which gives teacher a way to evaluate the student's learning capability as well as progress during the course. However, many people do not agree, claiming that using exam as the only way to assess one's ability and knowledge is inaccurate. But in my opinion, exam still plays a crucial role in school.

First of all, exam requires students to review what they have studied. If they only listen to their teacher in class and do not have to take exam, they will not pay much attention to the lesson and hence the efforts of teacher went down the drain. On the other hand, standardized exams are getting more accurate, reflecting well the progress made by the student and giving better comparisons between students. Therefore students are demanded to learn and revise subjects in order to get good grades, as a result they learn wider and deeper towards the subjects.

Second, in this information age, pressure is a constant problem. Exam is a way for young people to learn how to face pressure as well as to get over it. This early practice can also benefit student by learning how to control worry and nervousness. If a student cannot keep calm in any circumstances, it is unlikely that he/she will perform well in their future job. In other words, exam is a good way to equip students with skills which they can use in their future life.

To conclude, we cannot deny the benefits of exam. If wisely made and used, it can encourage students to study hard , to be able to face stressful situations, as well as a tool to assess their progress. Therefore, Exams's role in our education system is still important and it should not be abolished.

My comments:
avoid redundant words, contractions
try to write concisely

drifter702

Jul 15, 2013

Writing Feedback / Continuous developments of zoo required towards a more comfortable and habitable for animals to live [5]

Exploring along the way in the National zoo, and looking upon the various sorts and varieties of animals as well as the amazing environment, I felt as if time had stood still and the Creator had graciously unveiled to us His handiwork. Zoo is the place where different kinds of animals are kept, displayed to public, and in which they may also be bred. In today's fast paced world, people are pressurized everyday working at a stressful job from nine to five, leisure in the form of going to zoo can be truly welcoming. But many arguments have arisen in recent years on the existence of the zoo. In fact, zoo is needed as a tourist spot in order to attract people, to preserve the natural environment, as well as the place in which some endangered animals are protected and bred.

From a economic perspective, it is important to promote tourism and market destination, therefore zoo procurement is essential for a country to develop its tourism. For instance, Singapore has the best zoo in the world and is famous for their incredible landscape design, with habitats simulating in the wild for each of their animal species. Hence, it is one of the reasons that makes singapore as a world class tourist destination which had contributed to its economy for the past several decades.

Furthermore, preservation of the natural environment is essential for maintaining community sustainability, and thus zoo is one of the approaches. Modern zoos actively work to encourage conservation ethics while giving visitors an enjoyable and exciting experience. As humans continue to push into wildlife habitats, it is important for us to understand the value of natural areas.

Lastly, zoo has played an important role as a protector to those sick and weak animals so they don't get killed in the wild. In some special cases, many endangered animals are kept and bred in order to ensure that they will not be extinct. Moreover, by diplaying to the public it can raise the awareness that these kinds of animals should not be hunted.

In conclusion, arguments that I present above reaffirm that zoo is definitely needed. But with a note that there must be continuous developments of zoo towards a more comfortable and habitable for animals to live.