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Posts by FDeacon
Joined: Mar 31, 2009
Last Post: Apr 14, 2009
Threads: 2
Posts: 9  


Displayed posts: 11
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FDeacon   
Apr 14, 2009
Grammar, Usage / How to use quotation marks at the end of a sentence. [14]

Thanks Kevin!

I'll definitely apply for that when I hit the required 20 posts.

After college, I intend to teach English overseas for a few years. I imagine that it could help my resume if I put that I was a contributor on essayforum.com!
FDeacon   
Apr 14, 2009
Speeches / A persuasive speech on discrimination [6]

That's a great topic for a persuasive speech, but it's hard to answer your first question. It's a highly opinionated topic and any ideas we contribute are definitely going to be biased towards our own views.

There are many ways to approach this speech, but if you want it be most effective I recommend you focus your argument on what the supporter's views are. If I were doing the topic, I'd probably focus on some of the healthcare and insurance differences between heterosexual marriage and homosexual marriage. After demonstrating there is a real disadvantage for them, I'd start exploring the reasons why people want these restrictions put in place. I'd spend the majority of the speech framing the opponents arguments before moving into my counter-argument. I could even go on to mention the fact that using religion as a basis for removing a persons rights is nothing new, people used to use Canaan (Genesis 9:18, 25, 10:6) as a means to justify slavery. One could even go as far as to argue that these restrictions are nothing more than a rehash of all the hate laws our society has been plagued with throughout its past.

In regards to your second question, try searching for ".edu" and ".gov" when you are looking for sources. These sites are more likely to provide useful information and they are typically subject to peer-review in one form or another.

Another easy way to find some reliable sources is to search the citations of the wikipedia article on a similar topic. You can usually find links to useful articles which may support your topic, but be careful! Make sure the citations it linked you to are the original source and that it is a credible site.
FDeacon   
Apr 11, 2009
Essays / The best way of adding depth to an essay [9]

Kevin's feedback is right on the money, but I also wanted to add that you could take a peak at Sean's write-ups if you haven't already.

Although your teacher was probably referring to "analysis," it always helps to construct your essay in a vivid manner as well. If you're interested in adding some "depth" to your essays and improving the impact it has on the reader, Sean's write-ups will really help with that.

Here is one that's easy to start with and will make just about any essay sound a lot better: essayforum.com/grammar-13/importance-choosing-strong-verbs-6143/
FDeacon   
Apr 11, 2009
Grammar, Usage / How to use quotation marks at the end of a sentence. [14]

This is an excellent question. Many people are unsure how to use it appropriately. I'm not an English expert in any way shape or form, but I'll share what I do know.

In British English, it follows the more logical method...

My Mom says I am a "slob", but I think it is unfair to call me a "slob".

On the other hand, American English always requires periods and commas to go inside the quotation marks, irregardless of what would be linguistically logical.

My Mom says I am a "slob," but I think it is unfair to call me a "slob."

The only real exception I'm aware of is regarding quoted words or statements that flow in your sentence without the need for a break or pause.

The phrase "chivalry is dead" suggests that the expectations of men in today's society has changed.

In these cases, you bypass the rule by avoiding the usage of a comma/period.

If there is anyone who is more experienced than I, please share your feedback!
FDeacon   
Apr 4, 2009
Writing Feedback / The Big Three, Japanese Archetypes [3]

This is a rough draft of a truly miniature essay which was assigned by my Japanese Topics professor. The assignment requires that it is a 2-paragraph essay. In the first paragraph, we are supposed to explain what the "big three" personalities are (assuming the person knows nothing about Japan). In the second, we are supposed to identify which of the archetypes we relate with the most.

I feel like I'm struggling to write this because it is so short! I don't have enough room to talk about what I want, and thus the essay feels very abrupt and general.

Thank you for any input you would be willing to share with me! Grammatical corrections are also welcome!

The Big Three

Whether reading your favorite manga, watching a popular Japanese television show, or observing a Japanese sports match, one of the most consistent influences in Japanese society can be seen; the personality archetype of the "big three". These archetypes stem from the personalities of three men whom are accredited for bringing about important changes in a crucial time during Japan's history. Oda Nobunaga united Japan under a single sword, Toyotomi Hideyoshi forged a hierarchy that could last through the ages, and Tokugawa Ieyasu had the patience and tact to consolidate the new system. There is a metaphor for each person's personality in which they say, "Nobunaga would kill a bird that would not sing, Hideyoshi will make it sing, and Ieyasu would wait till it sings." By using these as general classifications, I believe we can identify shared virtues within ourselves.

For example, if I had to pick a spot between the three that best describes me, I'd be predominantly between Hideyoshi and Ieyasu. While I certainly wish that I always had the patience and subtlety of Ieyasu, I often over-estimate myself with my ambitions; a downfall which, as a result of his failed invasion of Korea, has been associated with Hideyoshi's personality type. On the other hand, when faced with a critical task, I can be very decisive and calculating; a key characteristic of Ieyasu's type. Thus, even though I don't match any of the archetypes perfectly, I can still recognize myself somewhere between them.
FDeacon   
Apr 4, 2009
Undergraduate / 'I love the sciences' - UVM Waitlist Letter [7]

I'm at work at the moment and don't have time for a lot of the points that I'm sure one of the contributors will post about, but there is one critical point that stood out to me...

"... it is very likely I will choose to attend."

This gave me the impression that you were considering other schools above the University of Vermont.
FDeacon   
Apr 3, 2009
Writing Feedback / Essay on Obama's Stimulus Plan [8]

Thank you both for your input!

As much as I love talking about my own opinions, the professor specifically asked us to remain as neutral as possible while outlining the arguments for and against Obama's plan.

As for the references, he is not requiring it; I don't think he wants a lot of extra reference citations filling up space that could be used for the actual essay (he wants it to be exactly 3 pages of "essay", I'm a little worried I may even get marked down for simply quoting).

If I had to base an opinion off what I know (I'm just a simple student), I'd say that Obama's plan has the potential to successfully pull our economy out of this slump, but that it would have been more effective in the short-term if a larger portion was invested into federal tax cuts. It's possible that we may fall short of making a significant impact on the recession. If we manage to pull it off with the funds allocated as they are, I believe that the long-term spending will prove profitable in about 15 or 20 years, but we will experience some loss from the year the short-term effects wear off up until then.
FDeacon   
Mar 31, 2009
Writing Feedback / Essay on Obama's Stimulus Plan [8]

... Have you ever considered investing in a tinfoil hat?

That statement is downright presumptuous.
FDeacon   
Mar 31, 2009
Writing Feedback / Essay on Obama's Stimulus Plan [8]

This is an essay that was given as an optional assignment. We were allowed to choose any macroeconomic issue and write a 3 page single-spaced essay on it. It is for a lower-division economics class and this is a rough draft which I researched and put together over the last day or two. I knew very little on the subject going into the paper, so if I have fundamental concepts confused please correct me on it. I attempted to proof-read my own mistakes, but that rarely works and I'm stuck at work so I can't go to the writing center.

Thank you in advance! Any constructive feedback is welcome.

Obama Stimulus Package

You've heard about it on the news, it's a frequent topic of conversation among people from all walks of life, and many are saying it's one of the most controversial decisions of the Obama Administration. What exactly is the "Stimulus Package", what led to this call for government intervention, and how will it affect us? There are many questions stirring about, and rightfully so, but in order to properly address them, it's important to understand some of the factors which led to this. Let's consider the changes that have occurred over the last quarter century.

According to some views, which are debatable, the state of our economy and the recent trends in global markets resulted from a series of policy changes aimed at dealing with the collateral damage from two principle changes to market economies in the 1980's. During the dawn of the Reagan Administration, our country was facing, what was at the time, the most threatening recession since the Great Depression. The Gross National Product had fallen 2.5% and the Unemployment Rate had sky-rocketed over 10%, a historical high.

Although there were several factors which contributed to the recession in 1982, one of the most relevant for the high unemployment rate was an increasingly technical industry. Studies conducted by Thomas Hyclak at the Upjohn Institute for Employment Research in 2000 found that there were intriguing differences between the labor models found in '78-'79 and '87-'89. There was a marked trend which showed a reduction in wages for less-educated "blue-collar" workers and increased wages for skilled workers. Factories began to make an important shift in the methods they used for producing their goods. Advanced machinery replaced many manufacturing jobs, causing the trend in Hyclak's study, contributing to the rising wage inequalities, and laying off many "blue-collar" workers in the process. As our production staggered in the United States, economic rivals such as Japan and Germany took control over larger portions of global trade. This re-skilling of the labor force coupled with the increased dependency of American consumers on foreign products, set the stage for changes that would bring about policies which are relevant to the crisis we face today.

As a result of this increased factory automation and outsourcing, the ratio of wage to total income declined, which in turn reduced the level of purchasing power. Product markets suffered the burden of this effect as sales plummeted. Put simply, we had less money to play with. Our government then responded by attempting to stimulate consumer credit in hopes of off-setting these changes. By removing many restrictions on home mortgage lending institutions, they successfully compensated for the decrease in purchasing power, but did so by creating a bubble in the housing market.

In layman's terms, this theory suggests that we avoided a depression by placing the majority of our countries debt into consumers via the housing market and mortgage lending institutions. But when prices began to show signs of weakening towards the end of 2007, coupled with buyers who bought homes they had intended to refinance at lower rates, this housing bubble popped. People started losing the homes they couldn't afford and the mortgage lending institutions began to fall. This ultimately resulted in a "toxic" debt that is estimated at about 5-7 Trillion dollars.

Now that we understand a few of the factors which are likely to have played a role in bringing about the state of today's economic conditions, let's take a look at what exactly the "Stimulus Package", officially called the "American Recovery and Reinvestment Act", is meant to do. This stimulus package is an Act of Congress which was primarily influenced by President Obama and his administration. Stimulus is a general term which refers to a fiscal policy of spending government money in order to affect the economy, as seen in the Economic Stimulus Act of 2008, but Obama's stimulus is very different from the one we saw in 2008. The American Recovery and Reinvestment Act consists of funding for many long-term and a few short-term changes, including federal tax cuts, unemployment benefits, social welfare, education, health care, and infrastructure, whereas the Economic Stimulus Act of 2008 consisted primarily of tax rebates.

Basically, as Obama's campaign manager stated, "Obama believes the government should take steps to restore the confidence of consumers and businesses ... that we will not let things get worse and encourage them not to cut back further on their spending and investment." This means that the Act is intended to provide reliefs to those most in need, encourage economic activity within their communities, and do it all without "permanently" adding to the budget deficit. This is reflected, at least on the surface level, by the distribution of the nearly Trillion dollar plan, but experts are uncertain whether it will be effective. Some respected economists believe the plan will work, some believe it will not be enough, while many others believe it is too much. If there can be a consistent opinion among experts though, it would be that Obama's plan seems strikingly influenced by Keynesian economics.

During the 1930's, British economist John Maynard Keynes saw the Great Depression as the "failure" of Classical Theory. He disagreed with its main principle and proposed that, sometimes when prices adjust, demand doesn't always cater to the full employment level; there is untapped potential. Basically, Keynes was looking for a theory which would smooth out the times when the business cycle slumps. Through government spending, and thus inflation/deficit, fiscal policy could affect the economy. Therefore, a general rule could be observed in the Keynesian model, as inflation increased so did output and employment.

Keynesian economics saw most of its success from the time after World War II all the way up until the oil crisis of 1973. But during the troubled economics of the '70s, the economy was experiencing increased inflation with rising unemployment levels; something that, at the time, should not have been possible according to the Keynesian views. As a result of this stagflation, the trend of economists abandoned Keynesian views in favor of more classic views.

This fact is one of the criticisms that the opposing experts of Obama's plan argue. An ad, funded by the Cato Institute and signed by 200 economists whom opposed Obama's plan, stated, "... we the undersigned do not believe that more government spending is a way to improve economic performance. More government spending by Hoover and Roosevelt did not pull the United States economy out of the Great Depression in the 1930s... To improve the economy, policymakers should focus on reforms that remove impediments to work, savings, investment, and production. Lower tax rates and a reduction in the burden of government are the best ways of using fiscal policy to boost growth." As this debatable statement claims, Keynesian economics did not work in the past and there is little evidence to support the claim that it will work now. If this is true, adopting a fiscal policy which further places huge amounts of unnecessary debt could prove disastrous at worst or ineffective at best.

Aside from the Keynesian argument, many critics simply believe that the Stimulus Package won't address the underlying fundamental causes of the depression. They claim that it is more of a temporary band-aid cooped with some long-term infrastructure and social services funding. The problem that these critics foresee is that the benefits will be temporary in the short-run and inconsequential in the long-run. Meanwhile, the detrimental effects of the increased debt and government intervention could easily outweigh the benefits yielded. Both of these opinions can be supported by the Congressional Budget Office (CBO) Report that was sent on February 4th, 2009.

In the CBO Report, summarized by Douglas W. Elmendorf, they hypothesized the short-run and long-run effects of the stimulus package. In the short-run, they affirm the uncertainty of the effect, but go on to state that there should at least be temporary positive effects as a result of increased aggregate demand. On the contrary, the long-run effect of the program will be increased government debt which will "crowd out" private investors. This means that people will have a larger portion of their assets in government bonds rather than in savings accounts which banks could have otherwise given out loans to private investors with. However, there are also many long-term investments which will be sponsored by these "crowded-out" funds. The CBO Report recognizes that these investments could offset the lost productivity and supporters of the plan believe it will do just that.

Analyzing the determinants which have led to this recession, and what Obama's plan intends to accomplish, there are valid arguments both opposing and supporting it. With some parties arguing for less intervention and the removal of restrictions, while other parties want the government to curve the sluggish demand of a deep recession, it's simply a question of what you believe the government's role should be. Only time will tell which approach, or if a new unforeseen one, will prove right.
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