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Posts by JIMMY0907
Joined: Aug 20, 2013
Last Post: Sep 25, 2013
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  

From: Shichuan

Displayed posts: 5
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JIMMY0907   
Sep 25, 2013
Writing Feedback / IETLS Proportion of population aged 65 & over; Aging will accelerate after 2030s [3]

Hi guys, need your help to improve my writing skills. Thanks in advance!

The graph provides some information about the change of the proportion of population aged 65 and over from 1940 to 2040 in three countries: USA, Sweden and Japan. The proportion of USA will increase from 9 percent to 24 percent in that period. Sweden will increase from 8 percent to 25 percent and Japan will increase from 5 percent to 27 percent. All the country present a upward situation.

From the curves we can see that the trend of the people getting old in USA and Sweden remain a same posture in the period from 1940 to 2040. However, in the next 30 years, the trend in the two countries go different direction. Sweden go upward signally and then slow down gradually. While USA remains in same level for almost 20 years and then ascend slightly. They turn to same direction again and show a accelerated rise after 2030s.

The trend of elder proportion in Japan is quite different. it hold a downward situation from 1940 to 1990 and then go up slowly until 2030s. Afterward, it ascend rapidly and exceed UAS and Sweden by 2.5 percent.

From the chat we can draw a conclusion that the speed of the people getting old in the three countries will accelerate obviously after 2030s.
JIMMY0907   
Sep 25, 2013
Undergraduate / 'more tougher than for freshman' Transfer Supplement Essay SUNY Old Wesbury - challenges [3]

As I plan to enter The College at Old Westbury

writing down which college you are planning to go will be better

I have a good understanding of some of the challenges that will come my way.

I have a good understanding of some of the challenges that will come in my way.

Going into school as a freshman, there are many different opportunities for students to get to know new people, but there might not be as many opportunities for a transfer student.

I think the reason does not make sense because all the students are freshman when they enter school at the beginning.

Hope it's helpful.
JIMMY0907   
Sep 9, 2013
Letters / [IETLS General Task 1]Make a complain for your were hurt in an incident in a store [5]

Hi Alice,
I use expression "take for granted" because I want to express the thought when I saw the ad. at the first sight. I am not sure that the expression is suitable for this scenario too. Maybe someone can suggest a right one. :)-

Hi gmad06,
The task ask me to write a essay to complain a minor accident, but I change the word accident to incident based on my real experience. It happened just a few weeks ago. LOL.

Hi yumandragore,
I'd like to say the first sentence you corrected is much better then mine. TKS!

Hi dumi,
Appreciate your time on my essay. I've learned a lots from your comments on other threads.

Anyway, I'd like to thank you all for your help! TKS!
JIMMY0907   
Sep 3, 2013
Letters / [IETLS General Task 1]Make a complain for your were hurt in an incident in a store [5]

Need everyone's help! I am preparing for IELTS test. Thanks in advance!

Dear Sir,

I'm a regular customer living in a community nearby your supermarket. For two years, I'm satisfied with your product and service from my shopping experience. But recently, an incident happened in your store made me frustrated which I want to tell you for improvement.

It was about goods return policy of your store. I learned from the advertisement on the wall in your store that you have free good return service. So when I found the pillows which I brought from your market was too big for my sofa last week, I took them back to the front desk with unpacked materials. However, the front desk told me that I can have 80 percent refund only for they were unpacked. I feel frustrated because I took for granted that all goods return is fully refund as the advertisement does not say the goods need to be return must be kept as sold. Frankly, I'm a little angry about the unclearly statement.

We all know that honestly is the best policy. it is suitable for both people and company. I suggest you should make your statement more clearly and completely to avoid misunderstanding

sincerely yours
JIMMY0907   
Aug 20, 2013
Writing Feedback / IETLS General Task 1: You have taken apart time job. issue with them and its solution [8]

Unfortunately, in our college my entire department was shifted to our new building at Alexandra road which is 10 km far away from our office. I am afraid, whether I will be to continue my work and studies on time without any issue due to the lengthy travel time.

Unfortunately, our department of college was entire shifted to a new building at Alexandra road which is 10 km far away from my work place. I am afraid I can't continue my work and study at the same time without any problem due to the long shuttle time.