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Posts by Genoa
Joined: Sep 17, 2013
Last Post: Feb 20, 2014
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From: United States of America

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Genoa   
Feb 20, 2014
Undergraduate / Temple University -personal and professional accomplishments [5]

It's a nice piece, but it barely answers the prompt. They're asking you about your accomplishments since graduation, not your applying to the college nor your hesitation to do so. You literally only spend 3 sentences actually answering the prompt by explaining your professional accomplishments after graduation; your personal ones?

I would strongly recommend you go back and revisit this.
Genoa   
Sep 17, 2013
Scholarship / All of my life I have struggled with a LD (learning disability); Why do I deserve this scholarship? [4]

All of my life I have struggled with a LD (learning disability),

There's no need to refer to it as an 'LD', just say learning disability and let that be that.

I've had people make fun of me for that. I'm out to prove them wrong and that I can make something of myself despite of the obstacles that have been thrown in my path. I have(Despite common use, 'I've' is not a word! Huh, right?) had people that have really helped me and supported me thorough out my high-school career.

My parents struggle week to week living off of a paycheck because they did not go to college.

Perhaps a more effective sentence would be, "My parents struggle, living paycheck to paycheck because they didn't go to college." This is a more commonly used saying and could get you some good leverage!

I've always known that I wanted to go college but I didn't know what I wanted to major in until my sophomore year. I feel that I can achieve my goal, which is helping other people, best by majoring in criminal justice and pursing a career with the Arkansas State Troopers.The reason I finally deiced on that career is because of a friend of my Dad's, who is know a Captain(I assume that's what you meant? :)) with the ASP. I have seen him on national television busting a drug dealer in Forrest City,Arkansas.

I also have a little sister that is in eighth grade, I want her to be able to look at me and be able to say that my big sister went to college with her all of her problems. I look at her with great pride when I see all of what she has done.She also has a LD but with help she has managed to accomplish great things.Last year,she got most improved junior high choir member of the year.This sentence isn't necessary. You should be focusing on your accomplishments, not hers. But the most important reason I feel I deserve this scholarship is because I've proven time and time again that I can overcome any obstacle that comes in my path if I put my mind to it.

Hope this helps!

~Genoa
Genoa   
Sep 17, 2013
Research Papers / Research Paper: Should Federal Funding to the Arts go to Green Energy? [2]

Question for response: Should funding to the Arts be re-allocated to the budding Green Economy?

Nowadays, everyone is looking for different ideas to save money; coupons, great deals at your local Walmart, and even Shoprite or Costco. Since the beginning of the financial crisis, which began in 2008, the U.S government (as well as the governments of foreign nations and entities such as the European Union) has increasingly been forced to draw a line to decide which areas should receive funding and which areas shouldn't. That line is often transparent and debated, especially when it comes to the needs of funding the arts. Unlike the arts, a place where the line is solid and almost unanimously agreed upon is the funding of what is quickly becoming known as America's "Green Economy". The Green Economy has proven to be a fundamental stepping stone in the recovery for America in since the economic collapse. The growing Green Economy is America's best bet for getting out of the recession, which requires the allocation of funds from less important areas, such as the arts, to the Green Economy.

Green Energy technology really isn't as expensive as one might think, and with a limited amount of money, a lot can be done. For the Fiscal Year 2012, the National Endowment for the Arts, the independent federal department responsible for distributing monetary assistance to art organizations throughout the country, received a "$150 million [dollar] budget," (Hahn 2) While that may not seem like a large sum of money in the bigger term, $150 million dollars can go a long way in production of green energy products. Less expensive equipment, such as solar panels, could power even more homes for the same price. Not only would these funds help us keep the country's Green Economy growing, but it would also keep our carbon footprint at much lower levels. Those are only two of the many ways the $150 million dollar NEA budget could be allocated to green energy jobs and industries. The NEA's $150 million dollar budget can also be allocated into many different divisions of the Green Economy; colleges, businesses, research and development firms, and much, much more. The growth potential that would accompany the $150 million dollar surplus of funds going into the Green Economy would be enormous.

The potential of growth for the Green Economy is hundreds of thousands - if not millions of new jobs. Currently there are programs to train people for green energy jobs with the goal of "people being hired right after they've been trained." (Caley 2) Between 1987 and 2007, the number of green jobs in the U.S "grew 9.1 percent...about two and a half times faster than the job growth in the economy as a whole." (Galbraith) This 9.1 percent growth in green jobs is equivalent "to 777,000 jobs." (Burnham) Lori Grange, deputy director of the Pew Center on the States, said in an interview with the New York Times that "The nation's clean-energy economy is poised for explosive growth," (Burnham) which can translate to long term success for the United States' struggling economy. The green energy job growth in many states around the United States is astonishing. Since 1998, the state of Colorado has green economy jobs rising "nearly 2 percent a year," (Caley 1) to reach "17,008 clean jobs by 2007." (Caley 1) Up from just below 14,400 jobs in 1998. This growth not only exemplifies the growth potential for the Green Economy, but also highlights people's interest in it as well; making it a valuable market for foreign investors and businesses.

Unlike Art organizations, which primarily get their funding through donations, a green energy company will be able to support itself without the need of assistance from the government (such as a bailout). Green energy technology being developed within the United States is of great interest to foreign investors. Students of Redstone College in Broomfield, Colorado already have established job offers within a green energy company named Vestas. Although they're not guaranteed positions, "the company is interested in interviewing them." (Caley 2) Companies are increasingly getting involved in the education of their future workforce and business partners, but they're not the only ones giving out funds for a greener tomorrow.

States are increasingly opening their ears to green energy technology, giving the Green Energy economy a better chance of survival. Many states are paving the way for the growth of the Green Energy economy, such as Idaho, who lead the way with "126 percent more such [green energy] jobs," (Galbraith) California holds the most green energy jobs in the country, with more than 125,000 (Galbraith) such jobs. Even with this explosive growth, the potential growth for the Green Economy remains high. States like Colorado, who are leading the way in funding and promoting green energy jobs, are giving out grants "totaling more than $700,000 [dollars]," (Caley 2) In the state of Colorado, according to a report by Colorado Cleantech Action Plan, which was released in October of 2009, there has been "5,000 more clean energy jobs since 2007," (Caley 1) This shows that state legislatures are seeing the value of investing in the Green Economy, and so are the banks.

Banks and investment corporations are beginning to see the value of the Green Economy. Nearly "80 percent of venture capital investments in 2008 were in the clean energy and green energy efficiency sector," (Burnham) this sector that venture capital is investing so heavily in is more broadly known as Cleantech. In an analysis of Thompson Reuters data by PricewaterhouseCoopers and the National Venture Capital Association, Cleantech outperformed "telecommunications, media and other sectors," (Burnham) implying that the Cleantech company, as a guiding light for the rest of green energy companies, is on the fast track to long term success. Recent graduates from colleges are even finding the banks willing to support their endeavors. Mike Couling, the president of Redstone College in Broomfield, Colorado said that, "What we hear from the industry is they know the demand is there. Their question is, is there going to be enough pipeline to produce these employees?" (Caley 2) The demand for workers in the green energy field is so great that the Denver Green Jobs Initiative gives people "free training and job assistance to unemployed and disadvantaged residents," (Caley 2) The fact is that there is extreme growth potential for the Green Economy, which

involves states getting unemployed peoples back to work; more importantly that there are colleges taking the lead to produce the workforce necessary to sustain that growth.

Throughout the country, more and more colleges are increasing their academic courses when it comes to green energy. Teenagers and students are more in tune with their effect on the environment and the ways that they can help keep the Earth clean, and colleges like Redstone College are increasingly putting funding towards green energy classes. To many, "the new-energy economy looks attractive." (Caley 1) Another college in Colorado, Red Rocks Community College located in Denver, is even offering "certificates and associate's degrees in solar photovoltaic, solar thermal (water heating), and wind technology." (Caley 1) At Red Rocks Community College, the "fastest growing program...is the energy efficiency weatherization certificate." (Caley 1) At the Community College of Aurora, they recently launched their new, "Renewable Energy Technology" (Caley 1) program in the beginning of the school year, 2009. Through the increased attention to teaching people how to succeed in the green energy field, colleges have created better workers for tomorrow. Academic Dean Glenn Wilson of the Community College of Aurora stated that, "the goal is to prepare workers for manufacturing jobs at local solar companies and wind turbine manufacturements." (Caley 2) This shows dedication to creating skilled workers that are capable of doing the job they're asked to, not only the aforementioned, but doing it correctly and exceptionally.

Ultimately, the Arts industry doesn't possess the growth potential or economic value that the ever growing Green Economy does. The $150 million NEA budget could potentially be allocated to assist colleges in funding their green energy classes, and promoting green energy jobs and industry throughout America. Most of the Arts workforce are solo entertainers with no consistent source of income, or a consistent amount of income. With strong support from federal and state legislatures, the Green Economy is almost insured to be successful. The Green Economy ensures economic stability and growth throughout the coming years, and technological advances against Asia and Europe; keeping America - and Americans - at the top of their class.
Genoa   
Sep 17, 2013
Undergraduate / Educational institutions play a major role in shaping the career of its student [2]

Educational institutions play a major role in shaping the career of its students. The more successful students are in their career (what career? What are you talking about? Be more specific.) the better the growth opportunities and a great future which in turns proves out to be useful for the society, country they are residing in one way or other. ( this is repetitive and unnecessary, perhaps reshape it to something like, "proves to be useful for the society in which they live,") Hence, it is an imperitive role of the educational institutions to guide the students on choosing a perfect field of study. (What defines a "perfect field of study? What does "perfect" mean?)

Educational institutions own experienced bunch of professionals/Phds (instead of referencing people by a common degree, perhaps use 'Professor' or 'Collegiate instructors', something that sounds fancy and official!) who have vast knowledge of subjects and immense experience that would come as fruitful to the students (this syntax makes it sound like the professors are going to the students to get an education, not vice versa) seeking help on choosing their career paths. Students who are just High school or Intermediate pass out (what is an 'intermediate pass out'?) are very young and inexperienced to understand the variety of fields and to select the appropriate ones to pursue their career in. Hence, proper counseling from educational institutions would clarify things to the students and they will be able to take their own stance in deciding which careers to pursue.

Nevertheless, all of the students don't need guidance (would work better if rephrased to, "Nevertheless, not all of the students need guidance") on their career as they themselves understand their own potential and are asserted to build a career in which they are most likely to succeed. But considering the huge number of students passing out every year (again, what does "passing out" mean? To me, this sounds like a bunch of students falling unconscious.) from graduate schools very little are known to have better understanding of fields of study they are likely to pursue. Obviously, those who do succeed because that's they choose are fields of interest but others choose because they have a vague picture of what they are entering into or are either forced by parents. (This sentence, especially the beginning, doesn't make much sense.)

Thus, if educational institutions takes it as a prime responsibility to dissuade students from pursuing fields of study they are not likely to succeed with the help of assessments they conduct and also with the guidance of experienced professors they hold a student can be made to walk towards his bright future by letting them know the correct choices they can opt to further studies and hence shaping a bright future for the student which is also an ultimate goal of an educational institution.

The ideas are all there, but the grammar and wording of the essay make it very difficult to understand. I also think that you should develop your ideas further, and provide some evidence to support your arguments. It felt like I was re-reading some of the same ideas throughout the whole essay, and that nothing new was expanded on. As per your request for a grade out of six, I'd give this essay a 3.

Hope this helps!

~Genoa
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