Posts by cgcbjunpark

cgcbjunpark

Oct 14, 2013

Writing Feedback / The Teachability of Virtue; It is argued that virtue is much the same [2]

The topic of piety, virtue and what it means to make a good citizen are central ideas discussed in Plato's fourth century B.C.E dialogue, Protagoras. The debate over the teachability of virtue takes place between Socrates and Protagoras, the latter arguing that virtue can be passed on, the former arguing in opposition. One of Socrates' two reasons for doubting that virtue can be taught is that virtuous parents often have unvirtuous children.

Modifying that sentence, ( Socrates believed that the virtue ethics can't be passed on by teaching for two reasons. )

Socrates explains this argument by illustrating many examples in which this has been proven to be true. (By way of example,) Pericles was a leading figure for Athens, meaning that he was a good

As Socrates explains, Clinias was returned after six months in Pericles' care because he could do nothing for him

Modifying ( because he didn't make any improvement for him, or he couldn't do anything for him )

cgcbjunpark

Oct 9, 2013

Writing Feedback / Personal enjoyment? Everyone is working as a diligent worker for the family. [9]

Thank you, I'll take your advice rewrite it, but the link you sent me doesn't work properly It said removed..could you send me again please? Thank you! have a very nice day

cgcbjunpark

Oct 9, 2013

Writing Feedback / Personal enjoyment? Everyone is working as a diligent worker for the family. [9]

Thank you for prompt feedback! It is for TOEFL exam, can you modify my errors? thank you so much!!

cgcbjunpark

Oct 8, 2013

Writing Feedback / Personal enjoyment? Everyone is working as a diligent worker for the family. [9]

People spend too much time on personal enjoyment rather than doing things they should do

It's difficult to gauge people spend too much time on personal enjoyment or things should do due to complexity. In this age of information, infrastructure facilities have made a huge improvement compare with the 1980s generation, obviously, most of entertainment things have developed as well since we have a better system to enjoy our lives more than ever. Personally I believe this phenomenon that people spend time on their personal enjoyment represents how your country's welfare social system is.

Firstly, Asia has been rapidly growing up in the world; especially China is one of the country that have made a huge progression, which precisely indicates that people who are born in before 1970s haven't even thought about their own personal enjoyment whatsoever due to the heavy responsibility to make a living under undeveloped social infrastructure system. For those whom, our generation can be defined as laziness or spending too much time on personal enjoyment, however, the magnitude of these people's perspective may diminishes if human's happiness is taken into consideration. According to a recent survey among the generation from 1950s to 1970s, over 75 percent of people have expressed clear inclination that if they have a chance to go back their youth, they would not have spent too much time on the things they should do, though they criticize people spend too much on fun things based on some kind of jealousy deep inside the heart.

It might be persuasive that there are some people seriously spend too much time on fun things, but generally these people are the minority by comparison with people who knows how to keep it balance of working and having fun.

In conclusion, I firmly believe people actually don't spend too much time on personal enjoyment though it can regard as spending too much for some people, when we look deep into it, we will find out actually everyone is working as a diligent worker for the family.