Undergraduate / My parents and two brothers; UC Prompt 1: Describe the world you come from [2]

Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

Despite the traumatizing environment I grew up in, I turned out to be ok. My world, which consists of my parents and two brothers, has motivated me to become the most of who I am. Unfortunately, my most vivid memories as a child do not include playing dolls or running around in the park. Instead, they include watching my brother threatening to kill my mom. I grew up watching them battle and bicker at each other like children and uncivilized humans. At such a young age I already felt so insignificant and useless for not being able to stop the fights and I felt like it was my responsibility to fix everything. I hated watching conversations turn into fights. But most of all, I hated not being able to do anything about my situation and so I promised myself that I would eventually get out of this environment and become successful so I can return to help my family. This goal has developed into a burning passion that I must accomplish.

As I got older, I learned to value this atypical childhood experience because I realized it made me distinct. And without this type of world, I would never have developed the motivation and ambitions to do what I want most in life: to help my family. Although that dream is very broad, it is something that I am determined to do so. After watching my family suffer for years, there is nothing more I want to do than to bring happiness into their lives. My father has been suffering from spinal stenosis for 16 years now. And my single hard working mother survived breast cancer but still continues to stress herself trying to raise her three kids. I have learned that nothing in life comes easy and one must always work extremely hard to achieve it. I have taken the responsibility into my own hands to better the health of my father, to relieve the stress of my mother, and to support my brothers. These goals of mine are not easy tasks and I know in order for me to achieve them I must work harder than everyone else. But just watching my family suffer is strong enough to inspire me to really be the change to their worlds. My family is the foundation to my biggest dreams in life and it has truly pushed me to challenge myself in every way and rise to never give up. I have no doubt in my mind that one day all my hard work will finally pay off and I will be able to support my family.

I had a hard time coming up with an introduction. All feedback is greatly appreciated!

Writing Feedback / I was waving goodbye to the life I had for 16 years/Transition from Childhood to Adulthood [5]

Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.

I was waving goodbye to the life I had for 16 years. I was leaving behind all my friends, family and home in order to begin my journey, transformation from childhood to adulthood. My mother had trusted me to let me move across the country 3,000 miles away from her. I was to stay with my aunt from my dad's side and my distant dad had decided to move in as well. I wish I could say that this transition is finished, but this transition is just the beginning of my journey into the real adult world.

Not many 16-year-old teens would move across the country during their senior year of high school. What motivated me to move was not because I wanted to get away from my overbearing mother, but because I saw this move as my chance to grab the bright future I envisioned for myself. The education system, job opportunities and lifestyle at Mountain View California was far better than that of the less advanced Egg Harbor Township New Jersey. When I moved here, I felt alive again. The town felt alive with so many different places to adventure into. At night, the sky and atmosphere was filled with lights and chatter of people on strolls or out at the cafes. This new town had an allure and I was naturally drawn to it. At my old town, everything felt dead. People went to the same restaurants or same hangout places because there were only so many different places to go to. I started seeing the same face and I did get bored. I wanted to change. And most of all, I did not want to end up like everyone else stuck in the same place. I wanted to be different and make something truly amazing of my life. And so I decided to make a bold move and move out to California.

Since I have moved here I have come to understand many qualities about myself. It takes courage to leave behind familiarity and embrace change. Most people fear change but I have learned to embrace it since I always learn something new or even a valuable lesson from change. It takes determination to be able to set high goals and attempt to achieve them. I do not plan on settling down after I move to California. I am determined to get involved in this brand new high school and meet new people that I can call my friends. It takes strength to continue to adapt to a new environment and school. It takes maturity to be able to do everything I have done by myself.

Reflecting back on my life choices and my actions, I can see how I have blossomed from that naďve shy child to this ambitious and resilient young adult. I am still shocked that I have changed so much. I was once so obedient and observant as adults made choices for me. However, I am freed and independent now - I am making choices for myself. I am eager to dive into life and tackle any obstacle that comes my way. This move from South Jersey to California marks the greatest decision I've made in my life thus far. By coming here, I have expanded my education opportunities and challenged myself to adapt to a new environment. I feel myself changing each day as I am here. As I approach my last year of high school, I see the chapters of my childhood life ending as the chapters of my adulthood start to begin.