Writing Feedback / Doing things within groups or by individual - ielts essay [2]

Thanks for any comments and correction on grammar, words even the whole structure. I will appreciate your selfless help. if you are professional on ielts, better give me marks on that. Thanks you!

Team activities can teach children more life skills than activities that are done alone. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Breeding children with skills acquired after born is crucial for themselves to fight with future challenges. A school of thought claim that we should render children surrounded with others to do social activities, by that children can master more experiences than working individually. To me perspective, i outright foot my stance on group behaviors.

Initially, taking action together enable, to a large extent, our human-being to improve the communication skills. As we all know that communication is the lubricant among people. People who are kept isolated for long time may have the incidence of losing the ability of communication. However, working or having mutual activities can stimulate the desire of finding crossing thoughts, which must be expressed in languages, at the same time, therefore the competence of speaking skills will be inevitably enhanced.

Secondly, working on the same goal foster the spirit of cooperation. It is undeniable that humans are creatures who live and work together since long ago. Depending on that habit guarantee the incredible working force than any other separated living creatures. Furthermore, in this time and ages, the employer are much more concerned about the cooperation instead of the individual capability, because of the restriction and flaws of individuals. However, some people resist that inculcating children with the thoughts of handling puzzles alone can improve their courage and competence in front of the difficulties. Indeed, people can dig their potential power by adversity. But there are countless challenges accompany with their growth. It is unwise and silly to come over every single difficulty without the group help. Furthermore, children who learn to cooperate with others always have better ideas, as the origins and thoughts for a single person will always meet their bottlenecks.

In conclusion, the two important life lessons, communication and cooperation is the building blocks for success, which children can hardly or never can grab by struggling on themselves

Writing Feedback / Whether to offer a higher education in high unemployment rate countries? ielts essay. [3]

Thanks for any comments and correction on grammar, words even the whole structure. I will appreciate your selfless help.

The unemployment rate is very high in many countries. Some people think that in these countries, young students only need to receive primary education. Secondary education should not be offered to those who will have little hope of finding a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Along with the increasing population and fierce competition upon business, the career opportunities tend to become more scarce for all the job hunters, especially the young generations. As a result, a school of thought claim that primary education is enough based on current situation and pursuing a higher certification seems to be worthless for all the students, however, it is unfair and unreasonable to make such perfunctory statement .

Initially, receiving better education and harvesting corresponding degrees, to most people in some extent, is to expend their worldviews and add color to life tract rather than a solitary goal of hunting a chance of ideal job. As through mastering the principle of operation of world or digging the secrets inside of their adorable subjects, they can even rather to end heir life with happiness upon finishing their tasks to life, putting another word. They receive a deeper education for good to themselves.

Furthermore, putting restriction on a further education seems to be unfair to students who hold an ambitious faith on displaying themselves to world. It seems ridiculous to stop students to perfect themselves to qualify their dream just depending the bad labor situation. If the rules are really put into effect, the possibility of better supplement blood to job market would be also driven to death.

However, some insist offering a higher or tertiary education is wasting the energy which should has been used in finding jobs. Although the truth of low employment rate in the contemporary society, a primary basis would force them even harder to find a basic job. to some sense, however, learning can even help people creating more fields or jobs, therefore, through another way releasing the pressure on job markets.

In conclusion, students should be encouraged to be provided a deeper education which help them recognize and perfect themselves better, moreover, can also make a contribution by creating more jobs.