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Posts by haayounglee
Name: Haa-Young Lee
Joined: Nov 25, 2013
Last Post: Dec 31, 2013
Threads: 2
Posts: 7  
From: United States of America
School: Ocean Township High School

Displayed posts: 9
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haayounglee   
Dec 30, 2013
Undergraduate / Yale short answers - Philosophy - Physics - woman [4]

Nice job answering the questions!
I feel like they were very unique.
I'll highlight some grammatical/spelling errors for you:

Exploring the dark, wet, narrow spaces buried deep under the ground - that is almost accurate way of describing caving.

After years of clai ming "science is everything!" I gave a chance to humanities. Now, philosophy is as important to me as physics.

"It is better to trust someone and be di ecived, than regret that you could not believe in them."

Sometimes I talk too much. I should be more specific and not expatiate on something that in fact may be simple.

Visiting the nuclear reactor " Maria" - scientist in their natural environment and the Polish wellspring of modern physics left me breathless.

Best of luck! :)
haayounglee   
Dec 30, 2013
Undergraduate / 'I want to do everything' NYU Supplement - Why I make a good match to NYU/ Gallatin [3]

I really enjoyed reading your essay as I feel like you incorporated a nice personal touch into it.
I'm applying to NYU Gallatin as well!

If anything, I would maybe cut back a tad on some of your narratives and elaborate on the questions more.
For example, talk about how New York provides job opportunities, diversity, etc.
Also, I would suggest pinpointing exactly what your interests are and what you have to offer to NYU.

But of course, this is your essay and these are just my suggestions!
haayounglee   
Nov 27, 2013
Undergraduate / I fell in love with the campus at CMU ; Carnegie Mellon Admissions Essay [8]

MY ESSAY:
(I'm applying to the Industrial Design program in the College of Fine Arts!)

I never would have guessed that my dreams and aspirations would jump out so suddenly, so fatefully at me in one fleeting instant. My senior year of high school approached, and I soon began the tedious yet rewarding process of college applications. However, by this point, I was still largely unsure of which career I should pursue. Should I choose a career based off of my academic abilities? Or maybe one that let me explore my lifelong love of art instead. These polar opposite choices baffled me and I often found myself laying wide awake late at night, pondering the positives and negatives of each hypothetical decision. I was unaware that my answer lay mere inches in front of me. It was on one occasion after class that my English teacher, who also serves as the advisor for Afterglow, our school's art and literary magazine, approached me and told me that she needed someone to design the cover of Afterglow, and that she had heard I had a knack for art. My heart skipped a beat. I would be designing the cover of a magazine that people would actually pay for and admire. The process of designing and creating the cover of Afterglow was exhausting, but I managed to create a piece of art which I felt evoked my simplistic style perfectly. To this day, my proudest and most memorable recollection is the day when Afterglow was finally printed, and I was able to call the cover my own. I knew that nothing but design could provide me with such a perfect oasis of creativity and challenge.

So here I am, hoping to delve into the study of Industrial Design at Carnegie Mellon University. I feel that melding both art and design into one cohesive major will help me experience a wide array of creative fields, and will also provide me with more practical opportunities as I search for a career in the near future. The concept of designing a product, making it more visually appealing and useful to human beings, deeply fascinates me. We began as primitive beings utilizing nothing more than stones as weapons and our fingers as utensils - now, reflect on the profound array of products that aid us in our daily lives. Industrial Design is the basis of modernization and ultimately the growth and well-being of our civilization. I specifically admire the concepts of furniture design, as I feel that designing a certain piece of furniture to resemble a beautiful work of art is nothing less than amazing. In this way, I will be able to meld my love for art and aesthetics with newfound principles of product design. The nationally acclaimed curriculum that the Industrial Design program at Carnegie Mellon University offers will enable me to successfully pursue a career designing furniture in the future.

I fell in love with the campus at CMU during a tour I attended in the summer of my junior year of high school. Carnegie Mellon's location in Pittsburgh is ideal for students wishing to obtain careers in a large city. Such an urban and diverse setting will enable me to easily search for occupations specializing in Industrial Design, and will also provide me with a unique setting to explore and admire. The vibrancy and diversity of students I witnessed excited me as well, as I knew I will be able to encounter unique individuals from all over the world.

I am beyond excited to explore my artistic talents and become familiar with vital aspects of design while immersing myself in an environment where my fellow peers share similar interests as I do; by collaborating with my peers, I will be able to gain new experiences and learn from the talents of others. Not only will I be able to learn from those within Carnegie Mellon's Fine Arts department, but those from all of its other departments as well. I admire the sense of determination and drive for success that seems to permeate throughout the entire campus. Carnegie Mellon is recognized across the country for its innovative curriculum as well as its world-renowned professors; I will take full advantage of these gratuitous resources, and utilize them to enhance my understanding on the principles of design.

I'm no Rembrandt, and who knows if I'm the next Andy Warhol. All I know is that I love both art and design, and I wish to pursue a career in Industrial design wholeheartedly at CMU.

Opinions and suggestions are greatly appreciated!
haayounglee   
Nov 27, 2013
Undergraduate / 'the National Blue Ribbon' - UC/personal essay [9]

The essay was a solid effort and flows well.Good job!

Just focus on the grammatical errors that the users above suggested.
If I would suggest anything, maybe expand on your experiences of change in America and incorporate a more personal tone into the story.
haayounglee   
Nov 26, 2013
Undergraduate / "Mental Transformation" - UC; World I come from [5]

The essay is very well-written and eloquent as a whole. Well done!

I think adding in an anecdote about a cultural experience at home or even about an interesting event that happened at school would really strengthen your opening paragraph, though.

Try telling the story in a way that is unique to your personality.
haayounglee   
Nov 26, 2013
Undergraduate / Taiwan had been a dream come true; accomplishment or event, formal or informal [5]

Thanks so much for the suggestions!
Yeah, I was taught never to use contractions in formal essays but I suppose it helps with accentuating my tone.
And I'll be sure to check out one of your works as well.

Thanks so much for the input! I am so happy that you liked it.
I'm not really as worried about the length as I initially was, and I'll definitely consider your suggestions :)
haayounglee   
Nov 25, 2013
Undergraduate / Taiwan had been a dream come true; accomplishment or event, formal or informal [5]

"Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family."

MY ESSAY: (didn't think of a title yet.. working on it!)

The comforting scent of exotic street food wafted up my nostrils as I passed the rows of vendors lined up along the street. It was a sweltering hot day in Taiwan, but I was extremely excited to have been given the opportunity to travel there with my sister and a few close friends. We decided to split up, boisterously searching through the maze of vendors and carefully examining each stall for a satisfying meal. It was on this particular day that, for the first time in my life, I was on my own in a completely foreign country, free to traverse wherever I pleased. As I began inspecting a particular basket of fried delicacies, something on a street corner caught my eye. A man, probably younger than his appearance suggested, sat on a plastic, red, four-legged stool that only had three legs still attached. He held out a grimy styrofoam cup, waiting with a look of utter desolation as he watched people quickly whisk by, not even sparing a passing glance. I tentatively fingered the money in my pocket.

Taiwan had been a dream come true. I was thrilled with the endless experiences I had gained, the unique shopping, and the immaculate cuisine. But what about this man? It was clear that he would have loved to engage in these activities too, and we both knew what a difficult aspiration that would be. Throughout my life, I had been taught to always be wary of the homeless as many of them ruined their lives through their own accord. Nonetheless, I could not help but feel sorry for him, seeing him sitting there on some archaic, broken stool, shamelessly begging for sustenance. My mind wandered to similar situations I had encountered while walking the streets of New York City. I would spot a homeless man or woman, cloaked in a ragged blanket, shaking his or her plastic cup filled with meager sums. People would simply pass by, preoccupied by their deadlines or meetings; on occasion, someone kindhearted enough would drop a few cents into the cup, inciting a chain reaction of charitableness as countless numbers of people mirrored the stranger's actions. I could not help but wonder how those same people would have reacted if that sole individual had not dropped his donation into the cup.

But I suppose that is just how society works nowadays. Give not to give, but give because there is an obligation. There I was, standing by a steaming basket of intoxicating delicacies, deciding whether to make that man's day or simply continue with my carefree exploration. I soon realized that my decision to purchase a meal would have no profound effect on my life nor the lives around me. Sure, I would be satisfied; sure, the vendor would earn some money that day to feed his family back home - but that was all. If I gave that man some money, I reckoned, maybe the others watching would follow my actions. Maybe my single, insignificant act of unconditional kindness would inspire others in a metropolis all the way around the world to do the same. It did not matter that I was in a foreign country harboring a completely different culture than my own. I straightened my posture and crossed the street with fierce determination. I was a questioning child no longer. I reached the man on the stool and savored the satisfying clank of my coins hitting the bottom of his cup. He looked up at me, and I watched as deep, sinking wrinkles brimming with years of experience formed around this dry lips and abyssal eyes as he flashed me a dazzling smile that contradicted his entire demeanor. Maybe, I thought, I did not have to spend much on my meal after all.
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