collegebound246
Dec 23, 2013
collegebound246
Dec 23, 2013
Undergraduate / Why Brown? Essay: "Freedom, Challenge, Writing, Diversity, and Providence" [3]
I really like your supplement! It's well structured. One thing I want to comment on though is your last sentence. It seems a bit vague. Why is Providence a good place to start? For example, you could maybe talk about Brown's location next to the downtown area if you're interested in that.
I really like your supplement! It's well structured. One thing I want to comment on though is your last sentence. It seems a bit vague. Why is Providence a good place to start? For example, you could maybe talk about Brown's location next to the downtown area if you're interested in that.
collegebound246
Dec 22, 2013
Undergraduate / Longboarding Makes Me Happy - Tufts Supplement [3]
Can some please give me feedback on my tufts supplement please? I'm not sure if this is what they're looking for, or if I'm suppose to be expressing more through this essay. Thanks!
As I cruise along the Charles River on my longboard with the sun setting before me, everything is perfect. It's just me and my longboard against the world. As I dodge curbs, rocks, and pedestrians, I have full control. Adrenaline pumps through my body as I reach the top of a hill, and everything leaves my mind as I focus on nothing but what's ahead of me. At the bottom, the feeling of my board flexing beneath me and the buzzing sound of my wheels against the cement calm me again. When I find an open area, I also attempt a few tricks. Kickflip. Boneless. Ollie. I don' t usually succeed and I often get odd side glances from by passers, but those people don't understand the joys and difficulties of longboarding. Eventually, what's still left of my daily stress is blown away with the rush of the fresh summer breeze. When I run out of energy to go any further, I end my journey on a dock facing the city lights of Boston. It's on longboarding sessions like these when nothing but pure peace and happiness run through me every second of the way - from daylight when I was full of energy, until dark as I watch the lights of the Prudential Center flash from my little dock.
Can some please give me feedback on my tufts supplement please? I'm not sure if this is what they're looking for, or if I'm suppose to be expressing more through this essay. Thanks!
As I cruise along the Charles River on my longboard with the sun setting before me, everything is perfect. It's just me and my longboard against the world. As I dodge curbs, rocks, and pedestrians, I have full control. Adrenaline pumps through my body as I reach the top of a hill, and everything leaves my mind as I focus on nothing but what's ahead of me. At the bottom, the feeling of my board flexing beneath me and the buzzing sound of my wheels against the cement calm me again. When I find an open area, I also attempt a few tricks. Kickflip. Boneless. Ollie. I don' t usually succeed and I often get odd side glances from by passers, but those people don't understand the joys and difficulties of longboarding. Eventually, what's still left of my daily stress is blown away with the rush of the fresh summer breeze. When I run out of energy to go any further, I end my journey on a dock facing the city lights of Boston. It's on longboarding sessions like these when nothing but pure peace and happiness run through me every second of the way - from daylight when I was full of energy, until dark as I watch the lights of the Prudential Center flash from my little dock.
