Posts by Mag_mclach Name: Maggie McLachlan
Joined: Jan 6, 2014 |
Last Post: Jan 6, 2014
Threads: 1 Posts: 1
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From: United States of America School: Serra high
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Displayed posts: 2
Scholarship /
CENTRAL TO IDENTITY: Why I Love My City [3]
I think you need to break up your sentences just a little bit. It needs to flow more easily. I believe I see some comma splices in there so maybe try to read through again and see where a semi colon needs to be placed. Besides a few syntax and grammatical errors, I don't think it's too cheesy at all! The way you broke up the paragraphs were perfect! You showed 3 different aspects in very good ways.
Undergraduate /
How you learned about Santa Clara University? SCU WRITING PROMPT #1 [3]
PROMPT: Briefly describe how you learned about Santa Clara University. (150 word limit)
Santa Clara University had been a name that sat in the back of my mind for so many years. It wasn't until a reunion lunch with a few old family friends my junior year when I had finally put he pieces together. This name that I have heard about for years now originated from these three idols that have stood by my side almost my whole life. It was always in one ear and out the other when it came to hearing bout their latest achievements or their fascinating flashbacks from college experiences; however this name finally became important. This name resembled a piece of the next chapter in my life: applying to colleges. Since then it seemed as if SCU was always at my fingertips-- college fairs, meetings with my counselor, currently enrolled peers. Throughout my application process I have done extensive research on SCU and now, with a personally formulated opinion of my own, I believe this is an excellent university for my desires and necessities.
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