Writing Feedback / TOEFL - Human needs vs. saving land for endangered animals [5]

Hi community,

this is the newst essay I did for the TOEFL preparation. In my opinion this one is my best one so far, but would you mind rating and correcting it? Thank you in advance!

Some people think that human needs for farmland, housing, and industry are more important than saving land for endangered animals. Do you agree with this point of view? Why or why not? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

In the past centuries the population steadily grew and now, for the first time in history, is exceeding seven billion. As a result more and more natural environment had to be vanished to make room for housing, feeding and industry. But isn't it important to preserve the land to maintain the other species living on our planet? In my opinion, we clearly have to change our attitude towards the environment because of several reasons.

First, the natural diversity is very important for further generations. If we don't change our behavior we will extinct many species living for millions of years on the planet. As we destroy the natural habitat, like forests, jungles and lakes, to make place for our industry and farmland, we rob the ecosystem. To illustrate, every day a massive part of the Rainforest in South America is destroyed to provide wood and farmland. If we don't preserve this important part of our ecosystem many endangered animals will loose their natural habitat and go extinct. As a result, further generations will never have the opportunity to see and study these animals.

In addition, a stable and sustainable environment is essential for the weather. Our behavior causes pollution, which heavily affects the weather conditions on planet Earth and causes the undoubtedly Global Warming. This not only affects the endangered animals, but also the humans because we are affected by the increasing sea level and the climatic changes. For example, recent studies from the United Nations Organization have shown that, till 2050 the sea level will increase over one meter in the average. This will dramaticly affect all people living near the coast and change the global climate.

In conclusion, there is to say that, given the arguments above, we definitely have to change our behavior towards the environment, not only to preserve the endangered animals but also to preserve our own living conditions.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL - Rush vs. Slower Pace [5]

Hi community,

please rate and score my essay for the TOEFL iBT independent writing. I know that the introduction is a bit vague, specially the second sentence... ;-)

Some people are always in a hurry to go places and get things done. Other people prefer to take their time and live life at a slower pace. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Modern technologies and globalization have increased the speed of life in the past decades tremendously. However, while the majority of people live on the fast lane, others decide to reduce the speed and take their time. To draw an entire picture, we have to consider both the advantages and disadvantages of this increased speed of life and ask our self which way of life is better. In my opinion, it is very important to live life at a slower pace, because living in a hurry comes along with several disadvantages.

First, living your life on the fast lane is very stressful and can affect your health. If you are always hurried and you do not take a certain time off, your body will react to your stressful lifestyle. Many hardworking people have diseases, like the burn-out syndrome, because their bodies cannot hold the pace. For instance, my father had a a breakdown several years ago due to his stressful job. After several weeks off his body was restored, now he has reduced the tempo of his lifestyle and is doing fine.

In addition, living your life at a slower pace increases your happiness. If you are always facing excessive stress you cannot care for your beloved's. If you do not hurry yourself you can take more time for your family and friends. Caring for your social environment will increase your happiness and also reduce your stress level. For example, a friend of mine lives at a slow pace and is really satisfied about it, because he can enjoy his family and cultivate his friendships.

Finally, quality takes time. When you are faced with difficult tasks and you do them in a rush, you are more likely to do avoidable errors or mistakes. Doing tasks in a hurry may end up in not considering all necessary aspects or opportunities. As a result you might make mistakes, you would not have done with more patience. To illustrate, I once wrote an essay in a hurry and got a bad grade, because I made few mistakes I could have avoided.

In conclusion, there is to say that, given the arguments above, living a slower life is advantageous for your health, your happiness and even the quality of your work.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL iBT - Saving/Spending money [5]

Dear community,

please help me correct my independent essay for the TOEFL. I struggled a lot with this topic... Many thanks in advance!

Topic:
Is it better to enjoy your money when you earn it or is it better to save your money for some time in the future? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

My essay:
In recent years the majority of developed countries have a low saving rate because the people opt to spend their earnings immediantly or they even take loans to finance their expenses. But isn't it better to save your money for later investments or rough times? Im my opinion, saving some part of your earnings is essential due to the fact that you can not predict future developments, neither in your professional nor your personal life, futhermore with savings you can fullfill some of your dreams.

First, there are several uncertainties about your professional future. The global economic conditions in these days are tough and there are many unpredictable factors that make it necessary to have some money on your bank account. As example I remember some friends who lost their jobs recently due to the economic crisis in Europe. Some of them had no own savings. They could not affort the rent ,so they had to move back in with their families and they lost their independence.

In addition, you can not be sure about the development in your personal life. It is possible that in the future you have some unavoidable expenses that you could not affort without savings. Back in university I remember a friend of mine who had just little savings and he had to deal with a major repair of his car. He could not affort the mantaince so he had to sell it.

Finally, with savings you can affort some luxurious goods and fullfill your dreams. Working hard and saving money for later on investments is a great way of getting a satisfying feeling and to reward yourself for something you have accomplished. For instance, I made a month-long backpack trip through Southeast Asia last summer with my girlfriend. Without our savings we could not have pursued our long-time dream.

Considering all the above mentioned arguments, from my point of view there is no other choice than saving money for some time.