Posts by Robotintheworld

Robotintheworld

Apr 5, 2014

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 1; UK TELEPHONE CALLS - three categories [5]

The given bar chart demonstrates the time spent by UK residents on three different types of telephone calls between 1995 and 2002, which are local fixed line, national and international line as well as mobile calls.

Overall, although local fixed line calls were still the most popular in 2002, the gap between the three categories had narrowed considerably over the second half of the period.

It is obvious that local fixed line calls were the highest throughout the period, rising from 72 million to approximate 90 million in 1998. After peaking at 90 million the following year, it went back to the same figure as in 1998 by 2002. Different from the trend of local fixed line calls, national and international fixed calls climbed up stably all the time, though the growth slowed over the last two years. Mobile calls grew at the first half of the period while the rise became sharp after 1999. At last, the use of mobile phones was tripled as in 1999 by 2002.

bar chart

Robotintheworld

Apr 4, 2014

Writing Feedback / Cambridge English IELTS 9, Test 1; island/ tourist facilities [5]

These two given maps illustrate the information on an island, before and after the development of many travelling equipment.

As is presented in these maps, a significant change occurred on the island after the renovation of infrastructure for tourism. Meanwhile, it is really convenient for tourists to enjoy holiday.

Initially, it was almost a virgin island where just two areas of trees and a beach were on it, also swimming was not allowed around the beach. After the construction, many new tourists' facilities have been made including accommodation facilities, restaurant, reception center, pier for boating. Interestingly plants and trees were not cut to build these constructions and most of the constructions were made near the beach. The footpaths were made to walk among the residing places and to the beach while the motor tracks were created to visit among the restaurant, reception area, and pier for bating.

Robotintheworld

Apr 4, 2014

Writing Feedback / Cambridge English IELTS 9, Test 1; island/ tourist facilities [5]

The two given maps illustrates the changes of an island after the development of tourism.

Not illustrates, plural form illustrate.

Robotintheworld

Apr 3, 2014

Graduate / Personal statement for Master of Finance in Melbourne University [2]

in the university

in university, you can also give your university name.

I desired to take a further study in the finance area to widen my knowledge and provide me an insight into the financial operations of an economy in general and a business in particular.

I decided to take a further study in finance area to broaden my knowledge and vision of financial operations of both economy in general and business in particular.

who had the highest score

who are the best or who had done the best in all exams or who have gotten a the highest score in all exams and so on.

was

delete

this time.

this period

the knowledge in accounting and auditing

accounting and auditing knowledge

Robotintheworld

Apr 2, 2014

Writing Feedback / Cambridge English IELTS 9, Test 1; island/ tourist facilities [5]

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The two maps below show an island, before and after the construction of some tourist facilities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

My answer:
The two given maps tell us the information on an island, before and after the construction of many / some / a lot of / a few / lots of travelling / tourist facilities / equipment. As is shown / presented in these maps, a significant / dramatic change happened / occurred in the island.

According to first one, just a few trees stood on the island at the beginning of the construction which the quantity of trees in the west was less than the eastern one. Not far from the western woods, a beach stretched to sea from coast. Except for these, there was nothing at all.

But swimming was allowed around the beach and two parts of accommodation were found which were near the two sections of trees after the construction, and some footpaths were convenient for tourists to get to different rooms. Meanwhile, a restaurant was built for travelers. And you would went along the vehicle track around the reception after you launch on the pier from boats.

In summary, The island changed significantly after the construction of some tourist equipment which make the life easier and comfortable for travelers when they spend their vacations here.

maps presented in thsi pic