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Posts by yparekh
Name: Yash Parekh
Joined: Apr 14, 2014
Last Post: Apr 16, 2014
Threads: 1
Posts: 3  
From: United States of America
School: Volstate

Displayed posts: 4
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yparekh   
Apr 16, 2014
Writing Feedback / TOEFL: Scientists' contribution vs. artists' contributions [5]

I believe both artists and scientists have high contribution. If we think, art is everywhere and in every thing-- from a dirtiest trashcan in world to finest car in world. Everyone has different perspective and interest, which decides what they consider as art. For example, Steve Jobs may think of his inventions as art, and Vincent van Gogh may think of his painting as invention.

This is just my opinion.
yparekh   
Apr 15, 2014
Writing Feedback / Biographical sketch on experiences or events with significant effect on you- BYU [4]

Initially, I do not see the purpose of this paragraph. What I mean by that is this paragraph does not have a topic sentence. I had no idea what you were talking about until I read the instructions. To solve this problem you can start your paragraph with following topic sentence (if you want to): "As time changes, people change too." Why would one agree with this saying? I believe that as time changes people experience new situations and circumstances that have a significant effect on people's life. In the same way I have changed too in many ways by situations and circumstances." Also, do not forget to add a concluding sentence.

Secondly, I think you were looking for the word "Financial" when you said ,"Economical." Economical is a very broad word. While financial only relate to money.

In suggestion, add paragraphs if you want to expand you paper.
yparekh   
Apr 15, 2014
Writing Feedback / Person with Humor - Humor is an important trait [4]

Person with humor
Integrity, courageousness, kindness, and discipline are the important traits in humans; however, I believe that a sense of humor is one of the most important traits in human for a couple of reasons. Person with a sense of humor has positive attitude over difficult situations of life. He or she sees surrounding problems from a different perspective and find a solution instantly. Such as saying, "The glass of water is half empty" person with a sense of humor would say, "the glass of water is half full." In addition, people with a sense of humor fight difficult situations with aplomb. Therefore, they do not get anxious and stay confidence. Moreover, humorous people often laugh and make other laugh too. There are two observation I have made in many people who had a sense of humor. Firstly, people with a humor look younger than they appear, and secondly, even if they are old, they think like youngsters. Above all, humorous people can influence other people in a good way. For example, I have been influenced by a person name Alpesh bhai Patel. He is the person I conceder as my older brother. He has many great qualities; however, one of these qualities is a sense of humor, the quality, which has made me call him Bhai (means "Brother" in Gujarati). Alpeshbhai is the owner of a restaurant where I work at. He has a jolly personality. He is confidence at all time, very intelligent, and has positive mindset. Although he has ten years old son and five years old daughter, he looks unbelievably young. He is most humorous person I have ever known. At work, he would start his day off by telling us (employee) a joke. His jokes usually rhyme with songs and sometimes they do get ribald. One other way he tells jokes is by mixing homonyms from English, Gujarati, and Hindi or by telling funny stories. Recently he told me a funny incident of his son. When Dev (his son) was playing video games, he got little angry about something and started shouting. So Dev's mother shouts from the kitchen (in Gujarati), "Jump ne," which meant to stay calm. Now, because Dev does not completely understand Gujarati, he thought his mother was telling him to jump, so he started jumping. Consequently, it made Alpeshbhai disturbed. So he gets up from the couch punishes him and ask him, "Why were you jumping?" Then Dev sadly replies, "Mama told me to jump." I have never seen Alpeshbhai sad except once when he was telling me a tragic story of his son's birth. Alpeshbhai told me that when Dev was born, doctors said that, "Your son won't live more than 10 days... he has a hole in his heart." When Alpeshbhai told me this emotional story, I was shocked by the fact how his son was still alive and living a very normal life. When I asked Alpeshbhai, "How were you able to take such pain?" with a light smile on his face he replied, "I took whatever the doctors said to me as a joke of life. It helped eliminate my fear of losing my son and gave me a hope." After hearing this story from him, I realized that such quality as humor could help battle the most dangerous enemy of all fear. At that moment, He influenced me to look at life from a different perspective, and taught me how to fight challenging situations of life with humor. Indeed, the story of Alpeshbhai helped me distinguish between a sense of humor as quality that makes other people happy, and a sense of humor as quality that gives confidence and positivity.
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