Writing Feedback /
Ielts: Why people are moving to big cities - social issue [5]
1st para , 2nd sentence "indeed ,Increasing number of people from small cites or rural area choose to move to big cities"
It should be written like this"indeed, increasing number of people from the smaller cities or rural areas have chosen to move to the bigger cites "
:)
2nd para , 2nd sentence " first of all , there are various means public transportation"
Should be written as "first of all, there are various means of public transportation"
In the third para you have used "first of all " the second time . So , it won't be good in exam dear .
3rd para " Moreover , not only can a big cites provide people with a great chance to develop their skills , but also it offer a wide range of job opportunities while in the countryside this range is limited to a few types of jobs"
You better write it as "Although , big cities provide people with the great chance of skills , they also offer a wide range of job opportunities .whereas, in the countryside , there is a limited scale of a fewer types of jobs"
:)