Posts by sonyta

sonyta

Jun 13, 2014

Undergraduate / The feeling of wanting to know computers; Personal statement for admission to CS [5]

The video shows - The video showed
As I continue to grow and learn, it came to me that I am a fortunate person compared to many others living in different parts of the world and I should set my life goals to help as many people as possible, and I could be someone useful to the society- i think u said separate it to 2 sentences. Run on sentence

and had successfully plan, design and execute- planned, designed,...

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Just my opinion, i think you used many long sentences thought they are run-on sentences. Also, should not use short form in formal writing.
Please, ignore my word in case u think it is incorrect.

sonyta

Jun 12, 2014

Writing Feedback / Why arranged marriage is bad idea? Descriptive paragraph [2]

Please help me. Thank you in advance :)

arranged marriage is a bad idea simply because it does not gain the acceptance from both parties. It is against one's will and moreover it is something that one has to commit his or her entire life with. In today's society which put much emphasis in openness and freedom, arranged marriage has thus become more likely to result in failure and produce negative implications such as emotionally, financially and the relationship among the 2 couples and their families.

Im not sure if you need the good side of it, let me know and I will share my views as well.
Pls gime a thumbs up for support, thanks!