Hi EF. Im writing in an appeal for CS course in university and like to seek your advice for it. This is my first time appealing for a course and pls advice me on anything that I should include or have miss out >< Thanks in advance for helping!
Appeal for CS
I can always remember the feeling of wanting to know just how computers worked, why they worked and what else they could do.
My interest for Computer Science began when I stumbled upon a Youtube video. The video shows Steve Jobs giving a speech to Stanford graduates during their graduating ceremony. He talked about his days in college and how he got into typography, which eventually helped define the spacing and arrangements that we now see in our Computers, and how things are lined up neatly. I was intrigued by his speech and it has planted a Computer Science sapling in my heart since.
Learning Computer Science could provide me with the knowledge and skills to achieve what I want in life. I have always wondered the purpose of life, the reason for our existence, and if there is actually something we should do within our short lifespan. As I continue to grow and learn, it came to me that I am a fortunate person compared to many others living in different parts of the world and I should set my life goals to help as many people as possible, and I could be someone useful to the society.
Having introduced to basic programming from polytechnic courses and graphic design in junior college, it has helped me develop my interest for Computer Science even further. Looking at how successful people such as Bill Gates, Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg are able to make an impact to the world with computer in different ways, I too want to achieve something great with the knowledge of Computer Science to help those in need.
During my time in Junior College, I have been involved in running 1 of the 3 shops in my school's Enterprise Club as the General Manager. The shop that I'm in charge of mainly sells stationaries and snacks for our students, as well as corporate gifts for visitors and freshmen.
My role involved taking on the responsibility of running weekly executive meetings, ensuring the shop's success and liaising with suppliers. I have also organized fund raising projects to help the needy in surrounding neighbourhood and had successfully plan, design and execute a 3-day entrepreneur course without much help from my peers and teachers during the school holidays.
The idea was to promote and encourage entrepreneurship within my school compound.
I found these experiences extremely valuable in strengthening my leadership, team working abilities and communication skills, especially when I move on to do my national service and start my working life.
Having worked at a gaming company over the past year after completing my national service has also help me obtained an understanding of what it is like to work amongst a large group of people. My job scope ranged from managing the game, ensuring our game security system is not breached, brainstorming and planning of game events, to dealing with the game's community should any problem arises.
My work experience has also shown me that Computer Science is the ideal course for me as I come across more detailed specifications of the game. It is always challenging to solve complex problems and nothing can be compared to the satisfaction after being able to come up with solutions to solve the problem.
I am passionate about everything to do with computers and would feel completely dedicated to further my studies at a higher level.
In the year of my A level examinations, I was doing well until Mid-year when I start to face several family problems. Things were in a mess and it indefinitely distracts me from my studies. I know that this shouldn't be an excuse and I have since learned how I should have handled difficult life situations properly and having to go through these challenges also help me grow to become stronger as an individual. I understand that my A level results wasn't spectacular however I believe I have the aptitude necessary to become successful.
Throughout my time as a team commander while doing national service and working for the past year, I have learnt skills such as dealing with the public , working under pressure and becoming a reliable and responsible person. These valuable life lessons and work experience have changed me to become who I am now and I'm confident that given the opportunity, I can become an asset and be of value to the society.
Before I left my job, my boss also wanted to give me a pay increment and assured me that he would welcome me back to the job anytime.
In my spare time, I practice Chinese calligraphy which I've started learning since 5. It helped me to develop strong patience which I find it to be beneficial for me when writing program, which could be frustrating at the beginning when I have no idea of what is going on.
Besides that I also exercise regularly, going for a run or swim every 2 days ensuring myself to lead an active and healthy lifestyle.
As of current I am also furthering my knowledge of Internet programming by learning HTML, C++ and Python using online resources.
Looking to the future, I am very keen to pursue a career in the Computer Science sector as I believe it to be a dynamic and versatile area of work, with many exciting opportunities which provides many transferable skills essential for embracing future challenges.
There are 2 fields which I would be particularly interested in after graduating. One is to work for the government. I want to play a part in solving first world problems and help create innovative solutions. I believe working at the government sector will help me stay true to my goals and realise what motivates me to study computer science, that is to serve the community and helping people who are in need .
By which I plan to create a software that is simple, efficient and useful for everyone, especially for the elderly as our country is shifting towards an ageing population.
The other would be working in the fields of research. I want to be part of the team which is at the forefront of next gen technology.
Be it working in my favourite game company to help develop and create new game content or going into research to develop the next generation virtual reality device. Specifically Oculus Rift, the company which Facebook had just bought over for 2 billion recently.
The bottom line is that I want to part of this exciting field. There are many options which I believe have yet to be explored and with Computer Science, I believe I can be successful and achieve my goals no matter where I go.
I am confident that this enthusiasm will combine with my strong determination and motivation, enabling me to succeed in the challenges that university presents.
Given the opportunity, I would do my best to meet and exceed the expectations required by the students attending your college.
I am very much motivated to also prove that I deserve a spot in your college and being able to let the admission committee feel that they have made the correct decision to accept me.
I would cherish what it is given and strive very hard to achieve my goals and ensure the resources provided will not go the waste.
I also like to be involve in voluntary work and help out the college in whichever way I can.
Thank you for reading.
The video shows - The video showed
As I continue to grow and learn, it came to me that I am a fortunate person compared to many others living in different parts of the world and I should set my life goals to help as many people as possible, and I could be someone useful to the society- i think u said separate it to 2 sentences. Run on sentence
and had successfully plan, design and execute- planned, designed,...
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Just my opinion, i think you used many long sentences thought they are run-on sentences. Also, should not use short form in formal writing.
Please, ignore my word in case u think it is incorrect.
In the year of my A level examinations, I was doing well until m id-year when I started to face several family problems. Things were in a mess and it indefinitely distracted me from my studies. I know that this shouldn't be an excuse and I have since learned how I should have to handle difficult life situations properly and having togoing through these challenges also enabled me to become stronger as an individual. I understand that my A level results wasn't excellent, however I believe I have the aptitude necessary to become successful.
Throughout my time as a team commander while doing national service and working for the past year, I have learnt skills such as dealing with the public , working under pressure and becoming a reliable and responsible person. These valuable life lessons and work experience have changed me to become who I am now and I'm confident that given the opportunity, I can become an asset and be of value to the society.
Before I left my job, my boss also wanted to give me a pay increment and assured me that he would welcome me back to the job anytime.
In my spare time, I practice Chinese calligraphy which I've started learning since 5. It helped me to develop strong patience which I find it to be beneficial for me when writing program, which could be frustrating at the beginning when I have no idea of what is going on.
Besides that I also exercise regularly, going for a run or swim every 2 days ensuring myself to lead an active and healthy lifestyle.
As of current I am also furthering my knowledge of Internet programming by learning HTML, C++ and Python using online resources.
Looking to the future, I am very keen to pursue a career in the Computer Science sector as I believe it to be a dynamic and versatile area of work, with many exciting opportunities which provides many transferable skills essential for embracing future challenges.
There are 2two(it's best to spell it out, than writing the figure) fields which I would be particularly interested in after graduating. One is to work for the government. I want to play a part in solving first sts to solve world problems and help create innovative solutions. I believe working at the government sector will help me stay true to my goals and realise what motivates me to study computer science, that is to serve the community and helping people who are in need .
By which I plan to create a software that is simple, efficient and useful for everyone, especially for the elderly as our country is shifting towards an ageing population.
The other would be working in the fields of research. I want to be part of the team which is at the forefront of next[fon generation's technology.
Be it working in my favourite game company to help develop and create new game content or going into research to develop the next generation virtual reality device.(It sounds a bit too conversational. You should be writing in more formal tone.) Specifically Oculus Rift, the company which Facebook had just bought over for 2 billion recently.
The bottom line is that I want to be part of this exciting field. There are many options which I believe have yet to be explored and with Computer Science, I believe I can be success my goals no matterregardless of where I go.
I am confident that this enthusiasm will combine with my strong determination and motivation, enabling me to succeed in the challenges that university presents.
Given the opportunity, I would do my best to meet and exceed the expectations required by the students attending your college.
I am very much motivated to also prove that I deserve a spot in your college and being able to let the admission committee feel that they have made the correct decision to accept me.
I would cherish what it is given and strive very hard to achieve my goals and ensure the resources provided will not go the waste.
I also like to be involve in voluntary work and help out the college in whichever way I can.
Thank you for reading.
** All the best to your application! However, it seems to be a bit long. Do they have a limited words in this?**
