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Posts by abhay4556
Name: Abhay Rangray
Joined: Jun 20, 2014
Last Post: May 27, 2016
Threads: 2
Posts: 4  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 6
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abhay4556   
May 27, 2016
Writing Feedback / Attention should be given to colour schemes when decorating places such as offices and hospitals [5]

For many years ago, an outstanding discovery by psychologists has revealedis that colour has been possible tocan influence people's feeling.
However , Wrong transition, try: As such, Due to this, Therefore ... this statement is totally true due to its profound effect towards individuals' emotion in which can go beyond what people can imagine.

With regards to the validity of the assertion regarding to whether or not it can influence people , No need to repeat what the assertion is it is, this information is already present obvious that according to a finding in ...

For example, Google CompanyJust Google or Google Inc. is fine uses many attractive colours ... I fail to see the connection between the actions oo Google and the Hospital to you next assertion. Perhaps this sentence may help: "These entities have observed changes in the behaviors and expression of feelings by their employees and patients and" Therefore, the statement about colour is able to influence individuals' feeling is inevitably true.

However, colour is powerful.Colour can also have adverse effects. It is also possible to trigger bad occurrenceNot sure what you're trying to say Memories? Emotions? Feelings? either in offices or hospitals.

This statement is definitely true.No need to repeat this statement from your introduction.
abhay4556   
May 26, 2016
Writing Feedback / Debate Essay Morality and Legalality of Abortion Paper [3]

Abortion is one of the most emotionally charged issues in the public sphere. As an individual who has only recently begun to form his political views, I found the topic to be somewhat interesting; however, the debate was going on and I was curious to the arguments being presented by both sides.

There are many different perspectives which I saw; however, I believe that abortion should not be granted under normal circumstances. I will not discuss special cases such as rape or incest or others as those, I believe, are somewhat irrelevant to the discussion regarding open access to abortion. I will attempt to address some of the most common arguments for abortion and why I find the reasoning behind these arguments to be fallacious and wrong.

One argument that I often see is the "law-of-the-land" argument. In essence, this argument is that since abortion is the law, it must be reflective of morality and individuals should not challenge, and instead abide, by the law. The error present in this argument is immediately recognizable to any individual who has read texts regarding classical liberalism.

The main thing that this argument does not address is morality. What about morality? Just because something is a law, does that mean any law, regardless of how wicked it may be, must ultimately be abided to. Slavery was once the law, beating ones wife was one the law, even the right to not have an abortion was the law before Roe. V. Wade. Laws are constantly changing and adapting to the times and it moral values that must be upheld so that fair and just laws can be made.

Another argument is that the parents simply are not ready for a child and that them not being ready for the child is ultimately to the child's detriment. Many individuals reason that society, as a whole, would be better if unattended children were simply not allowed to exist in social-economic circumstances which would make these children into the dissidents and criminals of society. I want to pose the read a hypothetical question. What is the worst thing that happens when that child is born? What would have been so bad that it merits the ending of somethings life? As columnist for The Daily Wire, Ben Shapiro says, "it's so vile to deny the humanity of something just because it is convenient to you." You simply cannot run away from your problems indefinitely.

Sure, an individual may grow up poor but is having the right to grow up more important than simply growing up well. Just because present financial conditions to not encourage an exceptional life for the child mean that it has not right to life at all. Also, one should also consider that although more criminals may arise from abortions not being conducted, so will other minds which could provide strides in medication, finance, law, and science.

Also, areas which are already poor also have the highest rate of abortions and there is no major economic boon or reduction in crime within these areas before or after Roe. V. Wade. Areas that were poor remained poor regardless of the number of children being born and so a better suppressant to the ills of poverty is needed then abortion. One thing that should also be considered is what the potential of these children is. Is it not wrong to take away something from society which could ultimately go on to improve its condition?

The argument that I find to be the most disgusting is that the fetus is simply not a human. My main question to an individual to have this response is who are you to decide what is and isn't a human being? What authority over me, or for that matter anyone else, do you have to decide what is and isn't a human? Some might rebut my stating when the brain development, or when heart development occurs; however, is an individual who is a "vegetable" or lacks the capacity to use their brain also meaningless and can be killed whenever we feel like it.

The seed to human cruelty can perhaps be describes as taking a personal stance on the worth of human life. As soon as you deem something unworthy of life or someone as not being human then you have given yourself unlimited authority over it. You can do anything you want and we know what happens when such ideas become mainstream.

An extension of this argument is that society is the thing that decides the fetus's worth. Since society has deemed the fetus to not have worth, it must not have any worth. This also fails to consider the idea that societies can be corrupt. Societies, empowered by groupthink, can hold views that are ultimately immoral and persecution and injustice can continue within these societies if the ideas they hold to high regards are not challenged.

Also, as radio talk show host Dennis Prager states "On what moral grounds does the mother alone decide a fetus's worth?" He goes on to point out how if a mother wants her baby, and then the baby is killed by an outside agent, society treats such a death as a homicide. In contrast, if a mother does not want her baby, and then the baby is killed by an outside agent, society assumes it had no rights and thus the action was justified. Does the fetus have rights or not? The mother simply cannot make this decision since this varies from mother to mother and assuming a consistent standard of morality, no moral judgement can simply be made.

Another response would be that well, what about prosecution? If killing a fetus is a crime then should the mother also not be prosecuted? The reason why such an argument is proper up is to make the issue about women vs. anti-abortion individuals rather than the universal moral issue that it is. The first reason we don't do this is because, it simply more efficient economically to go after the doctors then the individuals themselves. It's similar to anti-drug policy where we go after the dealer and not the users to make most of limited economic resources.

The second reason is that women are often pressured to make this decision and they are unclear regarding the morality of their actions. Women can be pressured by doctors, my family members, and now increasingly society to make this decision by showing to them only what is to be gained from the abortion and not telling her what is to be lost. An agent who is unclear regarding the morality of the issue, or what can be lost in terms of the future human achievements of a fetus, ultimately is unable to make the appropriate decision because not enough information is presented to her. Doctors, on the other hand, know more about this and thus they made an immoral decision when presented with all the facts. This is the key difference of why doctors are punished but women are not.

What frightens me the most about this entire abortion debate is how we have reached a point within society where we fail to acknowledge what is and isn't a human. Our media even celebrates individuals who undergo an abortion. If history has taught us anything is that some of the most cruel and obscene behavior ever done by humans to other humans has been often preceded by a group of individuals being deemed not human or less that human. Not only does the society act in a cruel manner towards the group deemed not human, but the society itself falls into degeneracy and immorality since it believes what it is doing is a good thing.

The seeds of this idea have been planted and using history as a guide, I believe that these ideas will be applied to more and more groups and actions against these groups will grow. Morality is such a fascinating concept; however, once we have failed to be moral, there is no going back and no guide as to how far our actions will slide down.
abhay4556   
Jun 20, 2014
Undergraduate / 'my journey through a candy store' - entrance to a selective diversity program [3]

Maybe its just me but it seems these sentences are a bit unnecessary and seem to drag on:
As I moved into High School I was presented with a diverse group of students, this time middle class with a wide range of ethnic and religious backgrounds. It was easy for me to blend in with such a diverse group because of my past experiences. Throughout my high school years, I have encountered a countless amount of diverse people in volunteering activities, church groups and community events and have realized the important value it adds to human beings

-Shorten them up a bit for overall greater concision.

I don't know what <Censored> means but if it means what I think it does then remove it. You do NOT want that kind of language as an application essay.

I like the candy metaphor but you only have one sentence about it. I would recommend describing something from the candy shop; try putting the reader into the scene. It can really act as a attention grabber. Maybe something like this:

Light reflects off of the glass cases and plastic packaging that cover the entire store. A myriad of vivid colors cover the walls. The smell of sugar hits my nose and memories of my childhood joys come to me. My journey thought life has been like a journey through a candy store. Just as candies come in a variety shapes, sizes, colors, and wrappers - throughout my life, I have encountered a wide range of individuals of different races, ethnic backgrounds, ideologies, and socio-economic classes.

It's not the best but you get the idea. Aside from that, I didn't notice anything grammar wise that Archlefirth didn't already mention.

Best of luck!
abhay4556   
Jun 20, 2014
Undergraduate / 'selection of clubs' - Why interested in Georgia Tech? [6]

Make sure to answer the prompt: Why are you interested in Georgia Tech and what can you contribute to our community?

You explained why is it that your interested in Georiga Tech but you didn't tell how exactly can you contribute to our community. In the second part of your essay, you talk about the different things that Georgia Tech has to offer and why you love those things but you don't go into what you can add to Georgia Tech.

P.S. I'm also applying, hope to see you there :)
abhay4556   
Jun 20, 2014
Undergraduate / "Concept of Dharma" - Princeton Undergraduate Commmon Application Supplement [NEW]

I was finishing up my Princeton application and I was wondering if anyone was willing to help. Much thanks

Please briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences that was particularly meaningful to you. (About 150 words)

Columbia Undergraduate Commmon Application Supplement

I was just finishing up my Columbia common application supplement and was wondering if anyone was willing to help?

1. Briefly describe which single activity listed in the Activity section of your Common Application represents your most meaningful commitment and why. (150 words or less)

a. Nine proclaimed nerds sitting around a table reading through a giant book. Trying to memorize every detail; their brains numbing from an influx of knowledge. All unified in their agony and their dream: to win the state championship. Academic Decathlon is an activity that I took on during my junior year and since then has become the most meaningful commitment in the academic sphere. I enjoy it the most and have committed the greatest amount of my time towards it. The primary reason for this is because it is an organization that allows the true me to flourish. In it, I can let my competitive spirit run wild, my desire of learn independently to be fulfilled, and my social side to come out. By allow me to truly express myself, as well as enjoy myself, Academic Decathlon has become my most meaningful and integral part of my life.

2. List the required readings from courses during the school year or summer that you enjoyed most in the past year. (150 words or less)

a. Silk suits and tattered rags, shimmering white palaces and old decaying huts; the life of luxury and the life of poverty comprised my favorite course reading. The Great Gatsby and The Grapes of Wrath were the books I enjoyed the most. Despite their differences, both are tales of tragedy but also of hope. The American dream juxtaposed with the harsh realities of life sets up the wonderful story and exhilarating themes. These elements made the book enjoyable and allowed me to connect with the works. I believe in the existence of hope in the face of adversity and these books best exemplify this. Although they're also cautionary tales of the cruelty and power of greed, the also show the power of hope and the true capability of greatness of man. I connected with these books and their themes and thus they are the ones I found most enjoyable.

3. List the books read for pleasure that you enjoyed most in the past year. (150 words or less)

a. The greater the power, the more dangerous the abuse. This quote has proven to be true in some many situations and nowhere is this more true than in literature. In 1984 and Things Fall Apart, the ability to abuse is best shown. I found these books the most enjoyable independent reading since they provided me with a unique perspective to things generally considered. Things such as security and civilization are considered to be necessary and proper but the discussion of what if one were to abuse these powers is rarely illustrated. These books gave me a different and unique perspective from the mainstream ideas and allowed to me understand the duality of any situation. There is always some other perspective or some unforeseen consequence and these books allowed me to improve myself since now I understand the value of different perspectives and discourse amongst them.

4. List the print or electronic publications you read regularly. (150 words or less)

a. The sun has not caught me sleeping and the house is dark. The house is quiet and the bus has not yet arrived. During these moments, I take the time to read to obtain information about the world. Several publications I read include The Week, The New York Times, Wired, The Wall Street Journal, Time, and Cracked. All of these articles allow me to fully understand the events occurring in the world and keep me informed about the current state of things. I use a wide range of magazines to ensure I get as many perspectives as possible and to keep myself entertained. All of these different publications allow me to fully understand a situation, synthesize my thoughts/perspectives, and see all sides of an event before passing personal judgment upon it.

5. List the films, concerts, shows, exhibits, lectures and other entertainments you enjoyed most in the past year. (150 words or less)

a. The lights dim and the television screen fills the room with light. Shocked faces and bemused expressions fill the room. Everyone looks at themselves and then looks at me. Everyone cannot understand what is going on. This situation presents itself to me every time I chose a movie to show to my friends. The two films I found to be the most enjoyable are Lagaan, Apocalypse Now, and 2001: A Space Odyssey. Although others may not enjoy these movies, I find them to be my favorites. They present their story, make you think, and help you appreciate the different ways of thinking out there. They allow me to experience the journeys of different kinds of humans and understand their stories of others They provide me an escape from my life; an escape to a world where anything is possible.

6. Please tell us what you found meaningful about one of the above mentioned books, publications or cultural events. (300 words or less)

a. A green chair placed beside a black bookcase. The fan blowing cool air and cup placed beside me. As I read through the Great Gatsby, I ask myself why do I do the things I do? As the pages flip through my fingers and the clocks hands move along at their steady pace, the answer to this questions becomes more clear. I saw the book as almost an extension of my one life and the book acts as a guide for me to better my one life. Like Gatsby, I grew up with lots of ambition but in unlucky circumstances. Ever since then, my family has tried to improve our conditions with the same level of desire that Gatsby wanted to fulfill his desires. I to have a grand vision for my life but the book addresses a problem that I too face. I look back at my childhood and try to see how I can correct all the mistakes I made and alleviate all I had to go through. But, as the book shows, lingering on to ones past can destroy the fruits of labor and the great things a person posses in the present. I read the book and It has fundamentally transformed. I have controlled my urge and fanciful wish of changing my past since I understand what effect living on the past can have on a person. The work shows me that dreaming and hoping are good things but there is a limit to hope. My future has been fundamentally changed as a result of the work and I now believe that I can solve my dilemmas in a way Gatsby never could.

7. Please tell us what you find most appealing about Columbia and why. (300 words or less)

a. A spew of papers clutter the area, an old lamp stands guarding the mess. Pencils cover the scattered debris and a computer lays open. Notebooks lay astray and pictures cover the walls. As the last days of the summer rolled by, fear overcomes me. I nervously sat here, thinking of something I had no knowledge of, college, something that I never thought about and no one in my family knew anything about. I think of where I want to go and one of the biggest aspects for deciding which college is the best is the location. Columbia University in the City of New York, a Mecca for scholars but a gateway to the world. I find the location of New York to be one of the best things about the university since it offers me opportunities I could have only previously dreamed off. The diversity, the intellectuals, and the opportunities, both academic and economic, are all factors that pull me towards the university. Its location allows me to truly experiment with and get different perspectives upon my chosen academic field and allows me to understand the real world applications and effects of my work. This appeals to me since the opportunities allowed for by the university allow me to understand my field and truly experience all it has to offer. New, unique and comprehensive experiences are available to me in Columbia. With Columbia, the world becomes my campus since the diversity and the opportunities are limitless. It's the only place where I am not afraid to rise.
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