Posts by Aichen

Aichen

Aug 8, 2014

Writing Feedback / TOEFL: High stress job paid a lot of money or low stress job with just enough to live on? [3]

Hi~according to the topic "Would you rather
have a high stress job that paid a lot of money or a ...", ,your second reason is quite sound, but I think you can modify the first reason a little bit to relate to the topic more. For example, you may add a brief conclusion to state that

being a successful person by taking advantages from a high stress job"is what you want to do, or you can add by saying that the challenges and fun from a high stress job are positive motives that can make you work more actively or inspire you to create something successfully.

Hope my personal ideas are helpful. Kindly let me know if my ideas are not clear and we can have further discussion. Thanks. :)

Aichen

Aug 8, 2014

Writing Feedback / TOEFL: A/D? In modern times, parents will learn more from their children [3]

Topic: A/D? In modern times, parents will learn more from their children than their children will learn from them.
Various opinions have been expressed regarding whether parents will learn more from their children than their children will learn from them in modern times. Some people agree with that statement; other people disagree. I have my own point of view as well. I disagree that parents will learn more from their children in modern times for two reasons.

My first reason is that parents definitely have more social experience than their children and they can still help teach their children how to deal with certain social problems in their school life in modern times. For example, if children have an argument with their classmates over an assignment topic, parents can teach them how to express their opinions with appropriate manners and guide them to get along with their classmates. Then, children will become more diplomatic if parents teach them more communication and negotiations techniques.

Another reason affecting my position is that children will make better decisions from the accumulated work experience of their parents. For instances, many young people are often in a dilemma whether they should choose the job they are interested or the job that they will get higher salary. Parents can suggest their work experiences for their children's reference, and their children can list the advantages and disadvantages of the two jobs clearly and make up their minds with thoughtful considerations. Normally, people will not regret the decision they make when they already take all conditions into account. Thus, it is clear that children will still learn more from their parents in modern times.

Of course, there is an argument to be made for other positions. Nevertheless, for the reasons that I have presented above, I feel that my opinion is the most valid.

<Thanks for readying/modifying my essay.>