AznInvazon
Sep 30, 2014
Writing Feedback / Who am I? 'do my best and let my God do the rest' - homework task [5]
Correct me anyway you see fit but I will edit what you have as if I had written the paragraph but still maintain your identity.
Who am I? I am Ischa Cynthia Margareth Sitio. I was born in Balikpapan, Indonesia on April 12th, 1994. I love my family because they are my true inspiration and motivation. They are the reason why I love doing all of my activities. I am the eldest child with a little sister, so it is important to be the best role model and succeed. It is also important for my parents to be proud of me and I deeply honor my God. When I was in high school, I was interested in industrial engineering because of my father. I want my life to be better than my parents so I try to be creative. My father has always taught me how to be creative by listening to myself instead of others so I learned how to be sensitive when I see something that can be done by myself. I have also learned to be a diligent person. In this small city, I meet a lot of new people with their own personalities. I am lucky because I am part of a good community in church. I believe this is how God blessed me with good fortune. In this community, I learned how to be a good leader. I think a good leader is someone who does things first before asking other people to try. In order to become a good leader, I will try to practice that belief. In addition to learning how to be a good leader, I have learned time management. As an industrial engineering student, it is important that I know how to manage my time wisely by being productive. Proving my point, I push myself to not be late when I want to attend something. Being on time is difficult because we all have our personal busy lives and life is not easy. I have also learned how to be an honest person. I believe honestly is important because being honest means being accepted in my community. That is why I always try to do things myself. For example, when I face the examination, I try not to cheat, I do my best, and I let God do the rest.
Although I tweaked some sentences to continue the flow of the paragraph, feel free to adjust them any way you like.
Correct me anyway you see fit but I will edit what you have as if I had written the paragraph but still maintain your identity.
Who am I? I am Ischa Cynthia Margareth Sitio. I was born in Balikpapan, Indonesia on April 12th, 1994. I love my family because they are my true inspiration and motivation. They are the reason why I love doing all of my activities. I am the eldest child with a little sister, so it is important to be the best role model and succeed. It is also important for my parents to be proud of me and I deeply honor my God. When I was in high school, I was interested in industrial engineering because of my father. I want my life to be better than my parents so I try to be creative. My father has always taught me how to be creative by listening to myself instead of others so I learned how to be sensitive when I see something that can be done by myself. I have also learned to be a diligent person. In this small city, I meet a lot of new people with their own personalities. I am lucky because I am part of a good community in church. I believe this is how God blessed me with good fortune. In this community, I learned how to be a good leader. I think a good leader is someone who does things first before asking other people to try. In order to become a good leader, I will try to practice that belief. In addition to learning how to be a good leader, I have learned time management. As an industrial engineering student, it is important that I know how to manage my time wisely by being productive. Proving my point, I push myself to not be late when I want to attend something. Being on time is difficult because we all have our personal busy lives and life is not easy. I have also learned how to be an honest person. I believe honestly is important because being honest means being accepted in my community. That is why I always try to do things myself. For example, when I face the examination, I try not to cheat, I do my best, and I let God do the rest.
Although I tweaked some sentences to continue the flow of the paragraph, feel free to adjust them any way you like.