Scholarship / To get something - it always takes effort, sacrifice, and faith in God [4]

Hello Aulisa,

Your essay is good but I think the information is just scattered. I would just like to suggest that, you could actually highlight few activities that demonstrated your personality as a whole. Challenges in your life and how it influenced you.

Good Luck!

Undergraduate / Explain how Kalamazoo College's approach to education will help you explore your ideas [17]

So do you think its ok?

Undergraduate / Explain how Kalamazoo College's approach to education will help you explore your ideas [17]

Hi Vangiespen, I haven't yet flipped the essay because I am a bit anxious about declaring my major through this essay. Please have a look at this draft. I have made some changes and added some more lines to the essay..

Undergraduate / Explain how Kalamazoo College's approach to education will help you explore your ideas [17]

Explain how Kalamazoo College's approach to education will help you explore your ideas and interests both inside and outside of the classroom.

From "Uncommon Reading Introduction" to the distinctive "K-Plan"; Kalamazoo's historic and modern principles of educational innovation and leadership most spoke to my interest. The 'Uncommon Reading' program; an occasion to question the brilliant minds will evoke the reader within me, fortifying my perceptive and reasoning aptitude.

The four unique components of the K-Plan require total commitment towards indoor and outdoor learning; hence I will be surrounded by intellectual stimulation that crosses the barriers of a classroom. I desire to be a leader and Kalamazoo's rigorous academics along with experiential learning will make me one. The experiential learning ("learning-by-doing") will give touch of professionalism to my academic knowledge. Participating in arts and craft, informational meetings and other activities offered at Kalamazoo College will develop my personality both academically and socially. Expert faculty, diversity, internships and externships, study aboard programs and strong connection with the alumni will provide me the opportunity to learn from the versatile and experienced individuals. The supportive community of Kalamazoo College, both inside and outside the classroom, will enable me to concentrate on my ambition.

I intend to major in Biology. The vibrant academics curriculum of Kalamazoo College will allow me to brainstorm with my colleagues in classroom and experiment those ideas outside without any obligations! My own K-Plan will augment my competitiveness and encourage my ability to think professionally; a perfect stepping stone. Attending the classes of Professor Binney Girdler will refine my understanding of ecology and plant science. I have had the opportunity to learn about forest life through Circle of Life Rediscovery Programme and I hope to expand this knowledge whilst at Kalamazoo College. My hobby of painting and sketching will gain wings in such environment. The freedom that it provides the students will allow me to commence my way of sharing knowledge through fun activities. The course of study will ultimately open door that leads to being a successful student of Kalamazoo College.

I am most definitely encouraged to utilize my head, heart and hands in achieving my lifelong passion. Contributing to the Kalamazoo community will be one of my priorities The informative academic and social journey that I will experience at Kalamazoo College will prepare me to be better leader of tomorrow for I will grow intellectually with a prestigious degree at the end of the four year at Kalamazoo College.

Undergraduate / Explain how Kalamazoo College's approach to education will help you explore your ideas [17]

Ok, I will work on the essay. I am sorry about that help tag that keeps popping with my comments. I was actually referring to the edited Kalamazoo College supplement. Please have a look at comment #5.

Undergraduate / Explain how Kalamazoo College's approach to education will help you explore your ideas [17]

Vangiespen, the essay is for the additional information section in the common application. I haven't yet titled it. It gives a brief about a turning point in my life and the person that I admire.

Also, please have a look at my Kalamazoo College supplement(Comment: #5). I have made some changes to it as you suggested.

Undergraduate / Explain how Kalamazoo College's approach to education will help you explore your ideas [17]

This is an additional information that I want the colleges to know about my life. Please have a look at it!

There are millions of lords in Hindu culture and around ten were placed in our shrine room. The fragrance of incense sticks filled the room. It was the most peaceful moment of the day. Everyone gathered in the tiny room, I moved ahead to make room for my mother who was busy covering her head with the end of her sari. Looking around the room I could see bowed heads and hands in Namaste posture to the Almighty Lord, pleading to fulfil their wish! Nevertheless, there was a common prayer among us; that may the soul of our grandfather rest in peace. A man of few words indeed!

My phone rang at 11:00 pm as I lay all tucked in my bed! I was a bit astonished because my parents never called so late considering the time difference. I picked up the call anyways and someone at the other end spoke firmly 'Hello Pranu?'. I could feel my grandfather sitting by my side. I wasn't of his bloodline but he treated us like a family. He shared experiences and jokes; even gossiped about grandmother! We laughed our hearts out with tears of joy running down my cheek. That day over the phone, I taught him how to use Skype for video calls so that he could talk to his children who were out of town. He talked about his engineering and I listened. His life story had been very inspiring for the people around him including me. He then finished the conversation with his blessings and a promise to call again before my exam. His sprinkled encouragement kept me going for an hour or two that night.

Finally I got a call that I had been waiting for and I took it with full excitement but alas! I was dumbstruck with the news that came along. People at the other end wept and I couldn't utter a single word. I cut off the call immediately. I went back to studying. I am naturally competitive, emerging as a winner is always at the forefront of my mind but that day I couldn't concentrate and cried. He influenced all of us and supported every decision that we took. Extremely proud with my scholarship awards at different stages he would ask me to cherish every bit of the new environment that I come across.

Time passed by and the results were out. I hadn't reached my target and that added to my pain. However, I was told by him that failures or difficult situations do not demonstrate our capabilities. It's how we choose to present ourselves to the world. His ethoses always echo in my life and I will always live by the values that he taught me. He wasn't my maternal or paternal grandfather but our landlord; we called him 'dada ji' respected grandfather.

Undergraduate / Explain how Kalamazoo College's approach to education will help you explore your ideas [17]

Vangiespen, please have a look at this.

From "Uncommon Reading Introduction" to the distinctive "K-Plan"; Kalamazoo's historic and modern principles of educational innovation and leadership most spoke to my interest. The 'Uncommon Reading' program; an occasion to question the brilliant minds will evoke the reader within me, fortifying my perceptive and reasoning aptitude.

The four unique components of the K-Plan require total commitment towards indoor and outdoor learning; hence I will be surrounded by intellectual stimulation that crosses the barriers of a classroom. I desire to be a leader and Kalamazoo's rigorous academics along with experiential learning will make me one.

[...]

Undergraduate / Explain how Kalamazoo College's approach to education will help you explore your ideas [17]

Shouldn't I mention what I am really looking for when it comes to college education?

Undergraduate / A woman, carrying her newborn on her shoulders, was selling utensils - Making a difference essay [10]

Please read it and let me know what you think about it. Also would love it if you all could reply as soon as possible!

A shambling gait followed by the calls of a hawker disrupted my immense pleasure of reading Vikram Seth's beautifully written novel. Setting the book aside, I looked out and the sight distressed me.

A woman carrying her newborn on her shoulder was auctioning utensils while her other child- who looked to be around six years old, holding her dupatta, followed her ploddingly with a bundle on her head too. I thought: Could the woman have been so blind to choose this wearisome circumstance rather than the fostering atmosphere of a school for her child? My judgement of such panorama of the woman's circumstances could have been beyond my understanding.

I wondered, why even after several attempts made to convince the population, people remained ignorant of the importance of education? That day, as I weighed the pros and cons of the government's futile attempt to awaken the masses to the value of an education, a long forgotten memory returned.

Hazaribag, was the very place where I spent my childhood with different aspirations of becoming teacher, pilot, doctor etc. I loved going to school; my bag and books were so precious that I could not bear anyone laying a hand on them except a dear friend of mine. We enjoyed each other's company; competing, sharing lunch, participating in different activities and at the end of the day, quarrelling on petty issues was part of our daily routine.

One day, she didn't come to school. Her absence continued for several days. When she finally arrived she wore neither the school uniform nor had her school bag. She looked dispirited; I rushed to her.

She confessed that her family had commanded her to work - they thought education was not getting them any food to survive on. I tried to convince her to continue at school but she was helpless. I never saw her again. My parents on the other hand, advocated my study and adjoined an aspiration to my list which was becoming guiding light.

Here I was again, with my high school diploma and the same initiative: to convince children to study. But this time it wasn't my dear friend but hundreds of students that I was to encourage to be educated. My determination to inspire them was stronger than my fear of handling students who lacked interest in my subject. With 90 pair of eyes staring at me, it was a quest to conquer.

I was their teacher, but with an assurance of being more like friend, their will, to share the difficulties they encountered, strengthened. It helped; visual learning and revision quizzes took them by surprise at first for they were not used to such activities in an English class. Regular dictations strengthened their spellings. Active outdoor activities enthralled them and made them realize that learning wasn't just memorizing but using in daily life too. Although conversing in English was tough, listening to them was a pleasure. They weren't perfect, but they knew I would correct them gently.

With their excellent performance in exams, I was on cloud nine. Their parents were proud of them and had no prejudice against their education. That day we both had our reasons to feel proud and privileged; I had laid the foundation of my aspiration and their relentlessness to learn had paid off, which was clearly visible in the innocent eyes.

I come from a place where ignorance, poverty, gender inequality, superstitions have had a major say in who gets educated. But Mahatma Gandhi once said "Be the change you want to see in the world"; today things are changing and I feel proud to be its agent.

Undergraduate / A woman, carrying her newborn on her shoulders, was selling utensils - Making a difference essay [10]


A shambling gait followed by the calls of a hawker disrupted my immense pleasure of reading Vikram Seth's beautifully written novel. Setting the book aside, I looked out and the sight distressed me.

[...]

Undergraduate / A woman, carrying her newborn on her shoulders, was selling utensils - Making a difference essay [10]

Hi Vangiespen, I worked on my essay again. I am not sure if this is what you wanted to see but here it is.

A shambling gait followed by the calls of a hawker disrupted my immense pleasure of reading Vikram Seth's beautifully written novel. Keeping the book aside, I looked out and the sight distressed me.

A woman carrying her newborn on her shoulder was auctioning utensils while her other child- who looked to be around six years old, holding her dupatta, followed her ploddingly with a bundle on her head too. I thought: Could the woman have been so blind to choose this wearisome circumstance rather than the fostering atmosphere of a school for her children? My judgement of such panorama of the woman was rather irrelevant for her circumstances could have been beyond my understanding.

[...]

Undergraduate / A woman, carrying her newborn on her shoulders, was selling utensils - Making a difference essay [10]

Hello Vangiespen, I actually volunteered to teach few subject that the students found tough and hence lost interest. I taught them for nearly a whole academic year. I used different strategies to help me understand the topics and they did perform really well and during parents teacher meeting they mentioned how pleased they were to see the power of understand of their kids.