Writing Feedback / Good parenting with better schooling, when combined - children will grow into a gem to our society [3]

I am taking IELTS after 2 weeks. Please, rate my essay and give your suggestion to improve it.
Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Children are the most innocent of all. To carve them into a responsible and social person is a great responsibility. Both, parents and school, play their own part in the sound development of a child.

First of all, since birth to school age, a child spends the greatest portion of time with his parents. It does not mean that after schooling he is separated from his family. Rather, the child stays more connected to his parents during that age and he learns good manners, to respect elders, help his friends, and to use appropriate language. He learns to be a well- behaved child. During this time of life, parents play a great role in teaching all these basic lessons to their children. And, the most important thing needed for this is, a healthy environment in a family, as this will help a child grow more social.

On the contrary, children from disturbed families miss such opportunities and tend to be more aggressive and anti-social. These children easily get involved in fights with their playmates, use abusive words, or bully other ones. Such children are fragile. Similarly, in the absence of effective guidance during childhood, these children could get involved into criminal activities, during teenage.

Secondly, once a child starts school, he starts learning different things. Along with the various subjects being taught in the classroom, his education also includes factors that can add to his social upbringing. At school children are also encouraged for activities like group plays, attend music or painting classes, or participate in annual sports, and many more. Through such activities, they learn about morality, humanity, and concept of co-operation and mutual understandings. They learn to choose their career. They might become a doctor, an engineer, an architect, or a politician and their job will surely benefit the society in its own way. A school can provide a strong basement for the future they might have. So, it is important to include teaching students about their culture, lessons of morality, and belief of serving mankind, along with other subjects.

Finally, parents should encourage their children to practice good manners and discipline. Moreover, school education should focus more on developing all the aspects of a child rather than just providing bookish knowledge. As a whole, good parenting with better schooling, when combined together, children will grow into a gem to our society.

Writing Feedback / Relying on mobile phones may completely alienate us from the society and make us some trouble [2]

What are the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones?
Mobile phones are one of the major technological advancement, which have become an integral part of our daily life. Like other technological innovations, mobile phones, have their own positive and negative feedbacks.

First, we all agree that with the invention of mobile phone, it has become easier to say "hello" to anyone, anytime. We can make or receive calls or send text messages to our dear ones from any part of the world, just in seconds. And the best part is that, these mobile phones are small, handy, and can be carried in our pockets. They include multiple features from making phone calls to play videogames and connect to the Internet. Many mobile phones, of today, have multiple functions to read e-books, make notes of daily schedule, pinpoint important dates, alarm clocks, and many more. Some of them can even monitor our heart beat and help us keeping track of our laps while running. Thus, mobile phones have brought a revolutionary change in the field of technology.

In addition, with the availability of Smartphone, we can access multiple information from a single place. With the availability of Internet, we don't have to bother opening computer to read or emails or place video chat with friends or family, as these can be done with our mobile phones. We can attend an international business meeting right away from our bedroom. We don't even have to remember "which day is today", for our mobile phones can remind us any day, month, or year.

On the other hand, while mobile phones make our day-to-day easier, they also have some noticeable drawbacks. With the ease of staying in touch with our family and friends through mobile phones, we have forgotten to drop by their house for a cup of tea, and meet each other face to face and make some real conversations. Instead of carrying a gift to our parents we text them "happy anniversary" on their phones. We don't attend annual get-togethers, family reunions or participate in social activities.

In fact, with so many features on our phones to entertain us, we have become indolent. People prefer to play football or tennis on our phones rather than actually going to a football ground or tennis court. Similarly, children like to stick to their phones for hours, sitting on their couch, either surfing internet or playing videogames. This is one of the reasons of growing obesity among the new generation. Furthermore, we must have heard of cybercrimes like leaking of a private mms, or unwanted calls to a particular person. Mobile phones have an important role in such crimes.

In the end, I personally think that, mobile phones have eased our daily life in so many ways. However, relying on them completely can alienate us from the society and give us some worst experiences. To sum up, mobile phones are magnificent boon of modern technology. We should use this innovation to make our complex life simpler, but shouldn't let them rule us.