Undergraduate / The life we all want [3]


You don't know what?


This is kinda aggressive.


...praise from my parents..

Your story is good and I agree with malicia. You DID NOT answer the prompt at all. Connect the notion of good life and your experience.

Writing Feedback / The best and most cheerful memories we have from our children time [5]

Well, I don't know what 's the prompt and I 'm not sure whch side you agree with because you mention both of them. Peronally I give this essay a 3/9.

My suggestions:
1. Pick a side, write down reasons, examples and explanations.
2. Look up a dictionary if you don't know what a word means. You have many inappropriate words in your essay.
3. Other than that, pay attention to grammar and sense.
Good luck! I'm willing to read your next draft.

Undergraduate / 'life has thrown me curve balls in every which way' - My Dysfunctional Family Life [4]

Here are my suggestions:
1. Please rewrite some sentences to make sure your essay flows fluently.
2. Do not use YOU in your essay because you are illustrating a point, not conversing with someone. You should use I, we, us and etc.

3. Other than that, I think you have a good story, but please elaborate more on how it affect you and make you become a better person.

Good luck!

Writing Feedback / Direct communication is always better than emails or telephone calls or letters [4]

Hi, following are my suggestions:
1. You use excessive commas in your essay. You should put periods after each sentence.
2. Don't use YOU in your essay. You are illustrating your points, not conversing with someone. Use I, we, us and etc.
3. You have many grammatical errors and typos in your essay. Make sure to correct them and pay attention next time when you write.
4. Other than that, your essay doesn't flow very fluently. You should use concrete example to support your claim rather than making assertions. Your essay will look pale without evidence.

I'm willing to revise your next draft. Good luck!

Undergraduate / "Grind the leaves and then filter them into pigment extracting solution" - An essay about Failure [6]

I understand you want to talk about the importance of patience -- this is what you have learned from failure
Instead of using one word to describe, you may want describe the reason of your impatience. Probably you are too frickle? Probably since you have experienced failure before and automatically assume the result without fully understanding the circumstance?

Undergraduate / "Grind the leaves and then filter them into pigment extracting solution" - An essay about Failure [6]

"Difficulties mastered are opportunities won ". The experiment reminded me of patience when I was nearly driven crazy by the mess on the filter paper. Yet a person cannot be defeated for the same reason twice. I decided to quietly wait for the change of phenomenon, for my success. I was really happy ,because I finally findingfound the mess disappearingdisappeared and the pigments getting layerslayered . I could never be surer of the payment for patience than that moment because it actually brought me success after all.I don't understand the last sentence

Hi! Red are corrections and green are comments.
Here are my suggestions:
1. Stick with everyday English words. I see many inappropriate words in your essay.
2. Rewrite some sentences. They are confusing.
3. Pay attention to your grammar.
4. Write in depth -- is this experience unique? How does it make you stand out?
5. Pay attention to the word "recount" in the prompt. It means to briefly describe your failure. This essay should be focusing on how the failure has impacted you and what have you learned from it.

I'm willing to see your next draft.