Undergraduate / Chance at self discovery | Boston University supplement [3]

Edited:

Coming from a very small town and tight-knit school community, I have always dreamt of the opportunity to immerse myself into a feast of new environments, cultures and perspectives. A university that prides itself in its diverse student body and resources to enable people of all backgrounds to find their niche - BU is my chance at learning more about the world and finding my place in it.

As a student interested in understanding the complexity of life not only on a large social scale but also at a microscopic level, my passion for Biology has been consistent since the 7th grade. The fascination began when my science teacher at the time taught my class a lesson on DNA - the intricacy of which continues to intrigue me. The prestigious Biology Department at BU offers a curriculum and reputed faculty that can provide the in depth learning that I seek, especially through the highly interactive and research fueled program in Cell and Molecular Biology.

Spending 4 years in BU will allow me to have the experiences and cultivate skills that I long for in order to grow further as an individual. To do so while enjoying the historically rich city of Boston will make it even more worthwhile. I firmly believe that this is where I will be able to discover who I really am, and I cannot wait to meet that person.

what do you think?

Writing Feedback / Should people be treated by what they have achieved or what they are capable of?; SAT essay [3]

Prompt - Should people be treated according to what they are capable of achieving instead of what they have actually done.

"We don't really know what a person can so until he has done it". In a performance oriented world, however, society treats one's past deeds as glimpses of the future. The ground breaking figures in society, literature or science up until the present day have all been and continue to be fostered by valuing the potential over past achievements.

The man who led the world to rediscover non-violence and peace in fact had not always been an achiever. Starting out as an amatuer barrister in South Africa, Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi was just another youngster in search of a secure life . It was by chance that he decided to adopt the cause of equality, that too only upon his own humiliation. His beneficiaries: victims of aparthied, restrained from judging the novice and bolstered his attempts to gain liberty after seeing hints of his potential from the oppressive regime. Had they rejected him for the lack of past achievements, India wouldn't be the republic it is today.

In the world famous play" Les Miserables" the sagacious Bishop discerns Jean Vilejeous' chances of becoming a better man, while at the Bishop's house in a bid to escape from he police. Jean shows remorse for the sin he had committed in the past. Having faith in his own judgement, the wise Bishop helped the convict run away to Paris, so he could turn over a new leaf there.

If the examples of Gandhi and the Bishop are too high in stature to connect with, an example from my experiences at my music school might perhaps be more convincing. Every student ranging from the senior most tenor voice to the meek soprano is treated well irrespective of their credits and awards. Im portance is given to those students however who show immense dedication to the art.

Though past deeds or lack there of may project a precarious future the spark in the fireplace foretells how big the flames may be.

Last sentence is confusing

Undergraduate / Growing up with an orphan - background or story vs identity essay [7]

Perfect! Thank you soooooo much :D :D

Undergraduate / Growing up with an orphan - background or story vs identity essay [7]

Thank you so much for the feedback!
So I added some more details about myself, but I crossed the word limit. It's supposed to be 650 words at most, mine has 677.
Can someone help me edit please?