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Posts by brandon
Joined: Jun 30, 2009
Last Post: Jul 17, 2009
Threads: 3
Posts: 7  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 10
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brandon   
Jul 17, 2009
Undergraduate / "Combining sports and grades" - UT important issue essay [11]

i corrected further and am posting an updated copy with new revisions.

A majority of youthful today do on focus on both sports and academia. This issue is not just of concern to the students themselves, but the coaches that are responsible for keeping them in line. I really became aware of this issue in my junior year in high school , when we had twenty upcoming freshman fail, and thus were unable to play football. I found this extremely unsettling , as I play football and can manage a 3.7 GPA. I managed that GPA through studying and knowing that the sports world is fun, but my education would get me further .Really looking at this issue led me to think why are there not any mandatory study groups for the "student - athlete". I believe that school sports teams have forgotten about the student aspect, and only concentrate on the athlete's goals. The coaches at these schools are teachers themselves and should be worried about how these kids are doing academically. These twenty freshman that failed had a responsibility to grades themselves, and yes it is there fault they failed, but with a little more guidance I think they could have excelled a little more. Schools have to at least offer some programs for athletes struggling with grades so that they can choose to get the help if they want it. Just by offering a study program for athletes they can wean out the athletes that don't care about there academics and the ones that are actually struggling. I believe that if schools offered programs to study to their athletes there would be a lot less failing and a lot more success.
brandon   
Jul 17, 2009
Undergraduate / "Combining sports and grades" - UT important issue essay [11]

Thanks for the feed back, and i made the corrections and added more. I just need it looked over again.

One of the many issues I believe is facing a majority of youth today is the issue of not being able to focus on both their sports and grades. This issue is not just of concern to the students themselves, but the coaches that are responsible for keeping them in line. I really became aware of this issue in my junior year in high school , when we had twenty upcoming freshman fail, and they were unable to play football. I found this extremely unsettling , just for the fact I play football and can manage a 3.7 GPA. I managed that GPA through studying and knowing that the sports world was fun, but the more importantly my education would get me farther .Really looking at this issue led me to think why are there not any mandatory study groups for the "student - athlete". I say student athlete like this because I feel that school sports teams have forgotten about the student part, and only have the one goal of the athlete. The coaches at these schools are teachers themselves and should be worried about how these kids are doing. These twenty freshman that failed had a responsibility to grades themselves, and yes it is there fault they failed, but with a little more guidance I think they could of excelled a little more. I think that to resolve issues like this schools should implement mandatory study groups for all students involved in extracurricular activities. This would probably not just not help the kids in the classroom, but in their sport as well. I believe that if schools looked at this issue a little more seriously, there would be a lot more successful scholar-athletes.

Thanks for the help!!!
brandon   
Jul 16, 2009
Undergraduate / "Combining sports and grades" - UT important issue essay [11]

I started it and i believe it sounds ok, but i need to know how to expand it more to 250 words. I have 200 exactly right now.

One of the many issues I believe is facing a majority of youth today is the issue of not being able to focus on both their sports and grades. This issue is not just concerned with the students themselves, but the coaches that are responsible for keeping them in line. I really became aware of this issue in my junior year in high school , when we had twenty upcoming freshman fail, and they were unable to play football. I found this extremely unsettling , just for the fact I play football and can manage a 3.7 GPA. Really looking at this issue led me to think why are there not any mandatory study groups for the "student - athlete". I say student athlete like this because I feel that school sports teams have forgotten about the student part, and only have the one goal of the athlete. The coaches at these schools are teachers themselves and should be worried about how these kids are doing. These twenty freshman that failed had a responsibility to grades themselves, and yes it is there fault they failed, but with a little more guidance I think they could of excelled a little more.
brandon   
Jul 11, 2009
Undergraduate / The biological father plays a tiny role in my life, but my stepfather loves me like I am his own son [8]

Influential person essay

I have this essay done but i believe it needs some tuning, so please help me.

The person who has influenced me the most in life is without a question my stepfather. While my biological father plays a very small role in my life, my stepfather loves me like I am his own son. I am proud to call him dad. He took me and my siblings in just like we were his own flesh and blood, while instilling his most important values. This man shows courage by stepping into the role vacated by my father. He gives me love and teaches me lessons that are imperative to my progression in life. The first of these lessons being that you get out of a task what you put in. To understand what I mean by this you must know the business my dad owns and operates. My dad owns stands at the Westside Market in Cleveland, where he ensures that all of his produce is top quality to the customers he sells it to. Through doing all of his prep work to ensure the produce is top quality he has made his stands thrive . Another lesson he taught was the value of an education. I remember when I first started algebra and had issues, and he helped me by reviewing my homework and showing me my mistakes. As he did this, I learned how to work through problems on paper and in life. My dad showed me how to fix my bike chain when it was about to pop off and how to repair stuck gears. I learned enough from these little lessons that eventually I was able to figure out solutions on my own instead of needing to ask for help. To be honest if it was not for my dad I would not be the self-reliant scholar I am today. These hardworking and problem solving values led me to your university which I know will challenge me and make me better.
brandon   
Jul 11, 2009
Undergraduate / how to reply an letter of acceptance [18]

let them know that you are happy about the opportunity presented to you, but do not make it sound like you were desperate for theirt answer
brandon   
Jul 2, 2009
Undergraduate / "My Mom" - help with most influential person essay. [9]

Though there are many people who influenced my values in my life, I believe there is one person who has stood out a lot more than the rest, and this influential lady is my mom. My mom has taught me to strive for whatever it is that I want, but with wanting something comes a price. She has shown me that if I want to succeed I will have to put my all into my task at hand. Another important Trait she has taught me is that if you are going to start something then you will have to finish it. This trait plays a big part in my life and motivates me to complete my tasks. It is what helped me stay in football my junior year, and made it so I could continue playing up until now, my senior year. My mom has made me a being that not only thinks about my actions, but a being that knows the consequences of my actions. I know from her that for every decision I make there are many possible outcomes, and that I should look at the possible outcomes and weigh them before choosing. She has taught me to approach every problem as an opportunity to learn, and not to be discouraged just because the problem might be big. Though it may sound extremely generic that I talked about my mother, I believe without her core values that she has taught me I would not be this strong minded scholar I am today.

I edited it and added alot more do you think you could critique it again?
brandon   
Jun 30, 2009
Undergraduate / "My Mom" - help with most influential person essay. [9]

I'm not done yet . It needs tob a 250 word essay , Am I going in the right direction?

Though there are many people who influenced my values in my life, I believe there is one person who showed me a lot more than the rest and this lovely lady is my Mom. My mom has taught me to strive for whatever it is that I want, but with wanting something comes a price. She has showed me that if I want to succeed in anything the I will have to put my all into it and put in the extra time to make sure it is being done to its fullest extent. Another important value she has taught me is that if you are going to start something then you will Have to finish it,. This value plays a big part in my life and motivates me with my tasks. It is what helped me stay in football my junior year, and made it so I could continue playing up until now, my senior year.
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