Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by kriokeke
Name: Kristal Okeke
Joined: Dec 15, 2014
Last Post: Jan 3, 2015
Threads: 1
Posts: 3  
From: United States of America
School: Irving High School

Displayed posts: 4
sort: Latest first   Oldest first  | 
kriokeke   
Jan 3, 2015
Undergraduate / I have developed, as a person boosted with self-confidence, motivation and respect - UBC Essay [7]

In today's world, verbal skills matter a lot. Activities like debates, quizzes, and elocutions were an integral part of my personal way of teaching.

In today's world, verbal skills are important, so I have made it a point to to incorporate debates, quizzes, and elocutions into my teaching.

For your ending, I would suggest talking about the type of learning environment you have created then end with the phrase " and as a result my students are getting closer to reaching their full potential." or something along those lines.
kriokeke   
Jan 3, 2015
Undergraduate / I have developed, as a person boosted with self-confidence, motivation and respect - UBC Essay [7]

"The main goal is to share and spread knowledge among students as much as I can and I am impelled by the desire to help others."

-Rephrase this sentence or make it into two sentences.

Personally, I try to avoid the word "thing"; try using the word "concepts" or "ideas" instead.

The ending is a bit weak. The last sentence sounds awkward, so I would suggest rephrasing so it fits better with the rest of the essay.

Good Luck!
kriokeke   
Dec 15, 2014
Undergraduate / What experiences have motivated you to study in the Rice/Baylor Medical Scholars Program? [3]

Prompt: What aspirations, experiences or relationships have motivated you to study in the eight-year Rice/Baylor Medical Scholars Program?

When I was six years old, I cheated death. I had eaten half a full bottle of Flintstones Vitamins. When my mother found out, the color drained from her face. Panicking she asked how many vitamins I had eaten. I just stood there smiling and blatantly lied, "I only ate two." Angry, she burst into tears and called 911. I stood there confused because I did not understand why my mother was so concerned, but happy because I had eaten all of my favorite purple vitamins. At the time, I was unaware of the consequences to my actions, but my mother knew exactly what could have happened. However, when the pediatrician in the emergency room reassured my mother that I would be fine, she calmed down. I was amazed that a complete stranger could show so much compassion and confidence to calm both my mother and me. This memory stayed with me and when I think about what I want to do with my life, I am hopeful that I can become a pediatrician who helps an ailing child and a vulnerable parent cope.

I have always been fascinated with science and loved children. In my high school anatomy class, when other students did not want to dissect the cat, I was the one to pick up the scalpel and make the first cut. Despite the depth and rigor of this course, my interest in science never dwindled or faltered. If anything, being challenged fueled my desire to better understand and simplify the complex world we live in. Class trips to museums and conducting research over the summer participating in advanced seminars introduced me to new scientific topics and solidified my desire to focus my education towards biological science. Moreover, my love for children progresses each time I babysit and supervise children as a volunteer for volleyball kiddy camps. Because of these experiences, I eagerly anticipate balancing my passion for science and helping children into a profession that can ease the fear of a parent and child when the child's health is compromised.

I have a common goal with Rice University and Baylor College of Medicine. We want to make discoveries, innovations, and heal our world through our commitment to a lifelong pursuit of knowledge. We do not want to sit on the back burner as the world changes, but be the driving force of those changes. Rice and Baylor have the resources and educational programs that can nurture my intellectual and personal growth. Furthermore, learning and collaborating with other motivated students will create a focused and interactive learning environment and the opportunity to create lasting friendships.

I have big goals, but I also need a unique educational program and support system to guide me through the correct path towards obtaining a baccalaureate/MD degree- the Rice/Baylor program is the support I need. This program will allow me to hone my talents and express my passion for science and children in a constructive way, a way that benefits and serves humanity.

Any and all feedback is welcomed!
Thank you in advance!!!!!
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳