Unanswered [7] | Urgent [0]

Posts by kmkmkim
Name: Kyungmin Kim
Joined: Dec 23, 2014
Last Post: Dec 25, 2014
Threads: 1
Posts: 3  

From: China
School: Hefei No.8 High School

Displayed posts: 4
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Dec 25, 2014
Undergraduate / 'Growing up, I was a quiet child' - Amherst - Stereotyped Beliefs Become Self-Fulfilling Prophecy [5]

I personally think the essay looks good! I liked the way you explained how you got to get out of that box gradually.
A suggestion about meeting the word limit, maybe you could combine the third and forth paragraph together, and leave out the sentence about how you went back into the box of expectations after the conference. Just a small suggestion from another senior student!

Oh and thanks for looking over my essay a few days ago, I really appreciate it
Best wishes to you!
Dec 25, 2014
Undergraduate / Living as someone else's mouth - William &Mary Supplement Essay [7]

Thank you all for such great suggestions! The conclusion part was originally one of the body paragraphs but because of the word limit I cut off the original conclusion off so I guess that was one of the problems. Anyhow I fixed the essay a little and this is how it looks:...

Thank you again for the suggestions!
Dec 23, 2014
Undergraduate / Living as someone else's mouth - William &Mary Supplement Essay [7]

I was wondering if this essay was off topic or not (eventhough there is no specific 'topic' for William and Mary supplement). Anyhow, help please!

Prompt: Beyond your impressive academic credentials and extra curricular accomplishments, what else makes you unique and colorful? 500 words (I wrote about 509..)


I see my mom coming into my room with her cell phone, and know immediately that she wants me to send a text message for her. After translating what she said and typing it into the phone, I hand it over to her, who then pat my head. A little while later, my younger sister comes in to ask me the meaning of a Chinese word in her textbook. While explaining the meaning to her, I notice my dad coming in to ask me to call the landlady to discuss the problem about the bathroom. This is a typical scene at home.

I have always been, and still is, my family's 'mouth'. Full of curiosity, I was always able to adapt to new environments pretty quickly. This helped me make friends in no time when my family went to live in Canada and China; in fact, every time my family moved to a new country. New friends meant more opportunities to speak and understand the local language, and thus I leaned new languages at significant speeds. Therefore, it was not surprising that I became the mouth of my family. No matter where we went and what we did, I was always the one who spoke for my family and represented them.

As time passed by, being the 'mouth' became a part of my identity. Through having to constantly talk to strangers and speak on my own, I gained confidence and became independent. Not only that, from my experiences as acting as my family's mouth, I discovered my potential and enthusiasm towards learning new languages and cultures. Gradually, this zest towards new worlds and letters led me to dream of being able to freely speak in vast variety of languages and becoming the mouth of many more people; I started to dream of becoming the voice of those who are, like how my family tried to do every time we encountered something new, struggling to express themselves to the world, and wanted to become the mouth of those who want to shout out to the world their existence.

Still living inside my world of living as a mouth, I see myself becoming more thoughtful and mature, and see my desire for languages becoming stronger as days go by. Imagining myself having achieved the dream of acting as more and more people's voice, I get overflowed with the satisfaction and happiness that cannot be acquired from anything else in the world. Now I am ready to take a step forward, to start the race towards that dream.