rubyrose
Dec 26, 2014
Undergraduate / I could never escape the shadow of my older sister. If I was strong, she was even stronger. [3]
Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.
I could never escape the shadow of my older sister. I used to spend days and days trying to figure out how to stand out from behind her ever looming presence. In the eyes of my mother, if I was good, she was better; if I was strong, she was stronger. Any effort I put into trying to outdo my sister seemed to be more often futile than not. Growing up for me seemed to be fully encompassed with attempts to try to fill footsteps permanently embedded in concrete.
In my freshman year, I decided to join the track team. At first it wasn't because I wanted to, but because my sister had done it and it seemed only right that I did as well. I didn't expect it to become something more to me than just another way to compete with my sister. I was no longer insignificant. Through sweating together, winning together, crying together, my team became more than simple friends or fellow runners, they were my family away from home. In the moments with when my legs were on the verge of giving out and my heart that felt like it could pump no harder, it wasn't beating my sister that pushed me forward to victory, but a drive to not let my team members down. My mother finally gave me the recognition I had always been looking for. Sure, it was only temporary, but at the time it meant the world to me. For once I didn't feel like just a prop idling in the background, twiddling my fingers as my sister stole the show.
If I had to state one major thing to be thankful for midst the sibling rivalry, it would the extent it pushed me to leave my comfort zone, making me to do things I might have not done otherwise. As a freshman I was heavily involved in a club in school that revolved around animal welfare and volunteering. Because of my active participation, at the end of the year I was offered an opportunity to head the club at the beginning of my sophomore year. I didn't immediately jump at the chance because I had my doubts. As inexperienced as I was, would I be able to lead a club? I had so many scenarios of things going wrong coursing through my head while I pondered the offer. Seconds away from finally giving into imaginary failures and rejecting the opportunity, it dawned on me that I was chickening out of something amazing. My sister wouldn't have even hesitated to accept the offer. Fear would get me nowhere, only action could. With that, I mustered up the courage to say yes to the things that scared me because those were the things that would take me places.
Becoming a club president finally set me apart from my sister, garnering the attention of my mother in a way it never had before. But even then, I felt unfulfilled. Trying, unsuccessfully, to convince myself it was just lingering negativity clouding my eyes, I just couldn't ignore the feeling. I looked into the mirror every morning questioning exactly what I was missing, after all I should be happy. I had everything I had wanted, right? But my reflection showed me exactly what was wrong. When I saw myself I could only see what I wasn't. If a picture is worth a thousand words, then what I was doing was looking for the infinite amount of words that were missing and overlooking the beauty right in front of me. I didn't acknowledge what I had already accomplished because I was too caught up trying to impress others and not myself. Maturing and growing up was more than just achieving things, it was taking the initiative to do things not for the glory but for the happiness and self-contentment they could offer me.
Any advice? Please and thank you.
Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.
I could never escape the shadow of my older sister. I used to spend days and days trying to figure out how to stand out from behind her ever looming presence. In the eyes of my mother, if I was good, she was better; if I was strong, she was stronger. Any effort I put into trying to outdo my sister seemed to be more often futile than not. Growing up for me seemed to be fully encompassed with attempts to try to fill footsteps permanently embedded in concrete.
In my freshman year, I decided to join the track team. At first it wasn't because I wanted to, but because my sister had done it and it seemed only right that I did as well. I didn't expect it to become something more to me than just another way to compete with my sister. I was no longer insignificant. Through sweating together, winning together, crying together, my team became more than simple friends or fellow runners, they were my family away from home. In the moments with when my legs were on the verge of giving out and my heart that felt like it could pump no harder, it wasn't beating my sister that pushed me forward to victory, but a drive to not let my team members down. My mother finally gave me the recognition I had always been looking for. Sure, it was only temporary, but at the time it meant the world to me. For once I didn't feel like just a prop idling in the background, twiddling my fingers as my sister stole the show.
If I had to state one major thing to be thankful for midst the sibling rivalry, it would the extent it pushed me to leave my comfort zone, making me to do things I might have not done otherwise. As a freshman I was heavily involved in a club in school that revolved around animal welfare and volunteering. Because of my active participation, at the end of the year I was offered an opportunity to head the club at the beginning of my sophomore year. I didn't immediately jump at the chance because I had my doubts. As inexperienced as I was, would I be able to lead a club? I had so many scenarios of things going wrong coursing through my head while I pondered the offer. Seconds away from finally giving into imaginary failures and rejecting the opportunity, it dawned on me that I was chickening out of something amazing. My sister wouldn't have even hesitated to accept the offer. Fear would get me nowhere, only action could. With that, I mustered up the courage to say yes to the things that scared me because those were the things that would take me places.
Becoming a club president finally set me apart from my sister, garnering the attention of my mother in a way it never had before. But even then, I felt unfulfilled. Trying, unsuccessfully, to convince myself it was just lingering negativity clouding my eyes, I just couldn't ignore the feeling. I looked into the mirror every morning questioning exactly what I was missing, after all I should be happy. I had everything I had wanted, right? But my reflection showed me exactly what was wrong. When I saw myself I could only see what I wasn't. If a picture is worth a thousand words, then what I was doing was looking for the infinite amount of words that were missing and overlooking the beauty right in front of me. I didn't acknowledge what I had already accomplished because I was too caught up trying to impress others and not myself. Maturing and growing up was more than just achieving things, it was taking the initiative to do things not for the glory but for the happiness and self-contentment they could offer me.
Any advice? Please and thank you.
Do You Need