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Posts by anonymous2014
Joined: Dec 28, 2014
Last Post: Jan 9, 2015
Threads: 2
Posts: 2  

From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 4
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anonymous2014   
Jan 9, 2015
Scholarship / Helping the community through autism awareness (APIASF prompt) [2]

In 500 words or less, please describe how you plan to give back to your community and help fulfill the needs of your community after you've completed your education. How would your plan impact not only your immediate community, but also a broader one?

Being a member of the Circle of Friends Club, a club that focuses on the acceptance of students with disabilities through relationship building with non-disabled peers, I have developed a connection with these students through multiple peer-bonding activities. Circle of Friends does not only attempt to bring these autistic students outside of their disengaged world but also form a group where they can socialize and meet new friends. Having been part of this club for three years, I have formed a personal commitment to these autistic students and to the club as a whole.

After earning my science degree, I will work with organizations that focus on autism in order to gain a deeper understanding of the disorder and to help people with autism adapt better to their surroundings and environment. I will help sponsor weekly events at a local community center, where autistic kids can build their interests and strengthen their abilities. Here, kids will not be restricted by the traditional schooling standards. Instead, they will be able to freely do what interests them, whether it is drawing, singing, dancing, playing games, or even watching movies. During these events, parents and volunteers can will help monitor and supervise.

Being able to do what best interests autistic kids is essential to their development as well as to the community's understanding of how these kids think and behave. The community will not only be able to learn more about the disorder and see the humanity within these kids, but will also be more appreciative of those who were born with autism. As autistic as they are, many of these individuals might be skilled and talented in specific fields, but these skills and talents will lay dormant if not expressed. Thus, having the freedom to express their interests is significant and essential.

Millions of individuals are affected with Autism Spectrum Disorder within only the United States, and many more are affected globally. However, not everyone are familiar with the disorder and not everyone are kind to it. If more people are exposed to such information, individuals around the world with autism will be more appreciated and will have more opportunity to achieve their dreams and form their talents. Sponsoring multiple events specifically for autistic kids in the future, I will provide guidance to individuals with autism adapt better to the environment in addition to helping the local community as well as a broader one understand and appreciate autism.
anonymous2014   
Jan 9, 2015
Writing Feedback / Does a country want its students to be mentally and physically ill? Sports and social activities. [2]

In the following essay I would like to express my opinion in regard to this: are sports and social activities as important as classes and libraries?

Since we know what prompt you are answering, you don't need to restate it.

"...opinion by three important reasons: " You need to add a colon.

I also found several conventional errors, such as capitalization after periods. Overall, your provided sufficient examples and you did a great job addressing all parts of the prompt.
anonymous2014   
Jan 9, 2015
Scholarship / Scholarschip. It would be an honor for me and my family to become a part of this fantastic journey. [2]

Performing with good academics, ethical values and responsibility has always been one of my main goals, but in order for me to receive an excellent professional preparation like the one you offer, I would... The you makes it sounds unprofessional; instead, you might want to try placing the company/scholarship name.

With my knowledge, I would try to make everything easier in many industries and try to learn even more and put in practice what I learn every day. I would like to study computer engineering because I believe that is my passion. I would get rid of "believe" because it makes the essay have a lack of confidence.

Overall, I feel that your essay is every inspiring and passionate. You also did a great job of answering all parts of the prompt.
anonymous2014   
Dec 28, 2014
Scholarship / Buying house for my parents/hope to develop technology to help those with stuttering (APIASF prompt) [2]

In 500 words or less, please describe your short-term and long-term personal and education/career goals and what has helped to shape your goals. What specific steps will you take to reach your personal/education/career goals?

Knowing what my parents had sacrificed in hope of establishing a better life and future for their children, I owe them a greatly for what they do. I hope to take care of my parents and provide them comforts in the future so that they would not have to suffer as much as they currently are. My parents used to own a house and a business about ten years ago back in Vietnam. However, they have sold all of their valuable possessions to go to America. Back in Vietnam, they owned an astonishing house and were bosses of their employees. Now, they are part of the labor pool and renting a compact one-bedroom one-bathroom apartment. My dad is currently a cook at a fast food center; every time he comes home, the oily smell of his clothing lingers. Being clumsy and uncareful, he occasionally get burns on his arms and fingers. Similarly, my mom is a waitress, who stands and walks back and forth every day serving customers. As a result of continuous unrest, she often experience painful leg cramps during the night time.

Seeing my parents endure such hardships, I feel obligated as their daughter to relieve their sufferings. My parents have often dream of owning a house ever since we have moved to America. One of my long-term goals is to purchase a two-bedroom two-bathroom house with a welcoming living room and a spacious kitchen for my mom and dad to enjoy. Since I am only a high school student, I will take many years before reaching this goal. Prior to purchasing a house for me parents, I first must successfully have a job or a career. Before that step, I must attend college and get my bachelor's degree in biomedical engineering.

Growing up as a stutterer, it was difficult for me to get my message across and it was a struggle to say as simple as a couple of sentences without stuttering. As easy as it is for a typical student to make friends or participate in class, it is a laborious and challenging process for me. I am in constant fear of other students mocking the way I speak and the way I sound. Being a stutterer myself, I can understand and connect with those who also suffer from this condition. Their level of confidence and self-esteem does drain as a result of the condition. In addition, stuttering leads to loss of social participation and creates problem in communicating with others. I yearn to end these complications because I believe that everyone deserves to be happy and that no one should be restricted to be so. Since no exact cause and cure of the condition has been discovered, I hope to, with my biomedical engineering degree, find a way to help mitigate this condition through the use of medical technology.
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