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Posts by ggbb823
Name: Abu Saleh
Joined: Dec 29, 2014
Last Post: Dec 29, 2014
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  

From: United States of America
School: Jamaica Gateway to the Sciences

Displayed posts: 3
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ggbb823   
Dec 29, 2014
Undergraduate / My parents noticed a rapidly deteriorating state of affairs inside my mouth - story, background [5]

Hmm.. yes I see what you mean there.
But the problem there is I think I only really focused on the bullying really (with ample word space devoted to the before and after) and how it has affected my perspective..

This is definitely pretty hard though lol

One last question if and only if you have time: what specific bits seemed overly dramatic?

Thanks for the input again, vang!
ggbb823   
Dec 29, 2014
Undergraduate / My parents noticed a rapidly deteriorating state of affairs inside my mouth - story, background [5]

Wow that was really quick! Thank you so very much!

If I am to understand correctly, you do think this essay works as a whole (and would thus consequently suffice, I guess, as my gereanl common app essay) rate 6.5 or 7/10?

1. I was merely staating that the essay as it is is within word limit.
2. Any ideas what specific parts are overly dramatic/and if you want any suggestions?
3. Was I able to bring myself to life?

These are jsut some further questions, if you're really bored or something lol

Thank you again, truly, for your answer!
ggbb823   
Dec 29, 2014
Undergraduate / My parents noticed a rapidly deteriorating state of affairs inside my mouth - story, background [5]

Ok I was initially very reluctant to share this story even with friends and GC, but as Jan 1 approaches, Im approaching desperation
First time user here, by the way, is there a limit to posting essays for you guys to look over?

Anyways, here it is...

Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

Five years passed after the first hour of my existence until my parents noticed a rapidly deteriorating state of affairs inside my mouth. I had inherited my grandfather's genes in this respect; I was born with a gaping diastema and enamel hypoplasia. Lucidly speaking, I had fairly noticeable gap between my front two incisors, all my teeth were yellowish in color, and as the very first dental appointments soon revealed, the situation was almost bound to get worse.

In retrospect, I often wonder if my parents or dentists were at fault in seemingly dismissing such a significant aspect of my physiognomy and brushing it off as simply as "We'll deal with it when we deal with it". They seemed almost not concerned with potential ramifications that would almost certainly arise when I would have to mix with other individuals who would not be so keen on brushing aside such qualities.

It was only until middle school did the predicament show its true colors. The children were brutal; they looked with their greedy eyes for bad apples with which they could single out and toy with, and consequently make themselves feel more at home as they climbed up the social hierarchy and save themselves from the wrath that reigned below. And indeed, as soon as I opened my mouth to speak for the first time as a sixth-grader, I bared my soul for all to see. As cliché as it may seem, there were indeed two individuals of the "in" crowd that took it to a whole new level. Their words broke and battered me, to say the least, almost to the point that I would have preferred sticks and stones a hundred times over. And through it all, my parents remained as oblivious as ever, as I, living up to be the coward I was told I was, conveyed nothing.

Time, post-puberty maturation, a relocation to Bangladesh after seventh grade (truly impeccable timing!), and the promise of a fix-all dental treatment sometime in the near future slowly healed my wounds. I sought after further catalysts in warm glow of fresh books, new friends who were scarce to recoil at my fangs, and participation in various outreach programs that, for the first time in my life, instilled within me a sense of direction, albeit rather vague at the time. Though we were not very well off ourselves in terms of monetary assets, the blaring disparities in all aspects of life between even the closest of socio-economic classes demanded my immediate attention.

Having been through the mires of depreciation, pessimism, and depression, I truly felt as if I had no where to go but up. I have come to appreciate all that I have to be thankful for a thousand times over. A strong, healthy individual-- an athlete by many standards-- with no explicit diseases of the body, I am. And how could I ever choose to overlook that in lieu of miniscule physiognomical imperfections which in the grand scheme of things, matters not? How could I possibly overlook the fact that my status quo fulfills the paramount aspects of Maslow's hierarchy, and that through the lens at least three-quarters of the global population, I am leading a life of luxury beyond the wildest of dreams? And how could I ever go turn my back on the remarkable individuals I have personally met the world over and have become acquainted with, and say that despite all the blatant advantages I have over them in every facet of life, that I could be anything less than superlatively content? Nay, life is good!

Life is good.

-It is within word limit
-does it sound dry or too dramatic?
-is it too personal? is the topic interesting at all?
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