Posts by DharrisGBC

DharrisGBC

Jan 7, 2015

Undergraduate / A business degree is safe, right? That was my logic for deciding to study business at Adrian College [2]

Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve. You can type directly into the box, or you can paste text from another source. (250-650 words)

A business degree is safe, right? That was my logic for deciding to study business at Adrian College. I wanted to invest in a degree that would allow me a to pursue a wide range of career opportunities and offer a good starting salary. The only problem with that choice is that I don't have a passion for business. I don't really think about business outside of school and it doesn't hold much weight in my personal life. We have all heard that money can't buy happiness, and after talking to several successful mentors of mine, I realize that now more than ever.

I began to think about things that I truly love to do, and could see myself doing for the rest of my life, even if I had to do them for free. What stood out the most was my love for working out and researching nutrition. I lift weights almost every day and I often have people ask me for help with their workout routines as well. Not only do I like to participate in these healthy habits, but I like to teach them and share them as well. At Washtenaw Community College, I started the Healthy Lifestyle Club in order to share my pursuit of a healthy life with other students who might be interested in doing the same. I am no longer at Washtenaw, but I do my own personal research everyday.

I want to study every aspect of becoming a healthy individual. I want to know the fundamentals of exercise, nutrition, and injury prevention. The Health and Fitness major is the perfect major for me because it doesn't focus on one thing, but all things fitness. At Adrian College, there is no major like this. Transferring to the School of Kinesiology is the next step in leading a happy life because I will be learning about something I love!

Upon being accepted into the School of Kinesiology, I plan on starting a new chapter of the Healthy Lifestyle Club at the University of Michigan. I also plan on becoming a member of the already established Nutrition Club. The Health and Fitness major prepares students to take the ACSM Certified Fitness Specialist exam, which is an important certification form anyone who wants to become a legitimate fitness expert. With my Bachelor of Science degree from the University of Michigan I hope to find a job in the field of health and fitness. I would like to work with people who are obese, since I have family members who are struggling with obesity and I see the negative effects it has on their daily lives everyday. I want to use the knowledge gained from my major to make a difference in the lives of others.

Thanks in advance for the help everyone!

DharrisGBC

Jan 7, 2015

Undergraduate / Big cities are where you can see many people, cars, hospitals etc - there are many good universities [3]

Essaywriter123, there were many grammatical errors in your essay. I am assuming that you aren't a native English speaker so I switched up some of your sentences to make them sound better, they are just suggestions. You need two spaces after every period! The green highlighted part was a little unorganized and I think you need to think more about what you want to say...just a start. Good luck!

DharrisGBC

Jan 5, 2015

Undergraduate / I come from a community where work isn't referred to as a career, but a job. [6]

Edited

I come from a community where work isn't referred to as a career, but a job. That job is the means to make enough money to pay bills, put food on the table, and make sure that there are clothes on backs, shoes on feet.

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DharrisGBC

Jan 5, 2015

Undergraduate / I come from a community where work isn't referred to as a career, but a job. [6]

Thank you vangiespen for your response! I will find a way to describe my role in my community. How much more than the specified word count is appropriate?

DharrisGBC

Jan 5, 2015

Undergraduate / Diversity was something that was not part of my vocabulary until the day I came to the U.S. [5]

Diversity was something that was not part of my vocabulary until the day I came to the U.S. Growing (up) back in Peru taught me to see the world from one perspective. The day (that) I came here the first thing I noticed, after I got out of the airport, was the cross-count(r) y cultures. The different appearance of each individual and how some of them speak (spoke) a language that was not English. Witnessing people from a variety of cultures and values interact with each other as equals give (gave) me a new perspective of the world. Most important, I learn(ed) how different and unique every person is.

I have been living in the U.S for almost four years now. During these years I had (have) developed a kind of a strange relationship with the question "where are you from?". Most people would answer this question ~~just~~ by saying the place where they were born or the place where they spen(t) most ~~part~~ of their life. The obvious answer in my case is Peru, the place where I was born. However, there are times when saying the name of my home country does (didn't)~~not~~ feel right anymore. There are times when I ask myself if I can really claim to be Peruvian. When I barely know what is going (on) in my country. When I ~~don't~~(no) longer understand the slangs that people from my country speak. When visiting my country does not feel the same any more. Every time someone ask(ed) me this question I found myself in this internal (conflict) where I ~~can't~~(couldn't) say where I from anymore. I am not from my home country anymore, but I also I am not from here. I don't speak perfect English as most of the kids who were born here do; instead I have a slight Spanish accent as (do) most immigrant kids who just learn the language. I admit that I ~~kind~~ like to have the influence of both cultures, it makes me see the world in a different way, but I also feel stuck in the middle of two totally different cultures that at the end of the day ~~mix between them and~~ make me who I am.

I am fortunate ~~enough of growing~~(to)(grow) up with the influence of these two cultures. Moving to the U.S helped not only to accept and respect the different opinion(s) of people, but also helped me to step out of my comfort zone. I am not the shy girl that had a hard time making friends and talking to people. The four year(s) of living in the U.S allowed me to discover myself. I learn(ed) to believe (in) myself and share my thought(s) with other people without being afraid of what they may think. Being stuck between two cultures is the greatest thing that (has) happened to me (-) it allowed me to gain interpersonal and intercultural skills that I could never have acquired by staying in Peru. I hope one day to visit other countries and learn new cultures that allow me to expand my vision of the world.

The red highlighted words/letters are recommendations for replacements and add-ins. The crossed out words are not necessary. Good luck!

DharrisGBC

Jan 5, 2015

Undergraduate / I come from a community where work isn't referred to as a career, but a job. [6]

Essay #1 (Required for all applicants. Approximately 250 words)
Everyone belongs to many different communities and/or groups defined by (among other things) shared geography, religion, ethnicity, income, cuisine, interest, race, ideology, or intellectual heritage. Choose one of the communities to which you belong, and describe that community and your place within it.

I come from a community where work isn't referred to as a career, but a job. That job is the means to make enough money to pay bills, put food on the table, and make sure that there are clothes on backs, shoes on feet. Where I am from, fathers are rare, and in their absence are teenage boys, still discovering who they are themselves. I come from a community of misguided boys who never fully reach their potential. Most of the boys I grew up with in my community are in prison. Where I come from, if you're the oldest son, then you're the man of the house. I come from a community where at the age of twelve, there are boys doing whatever it takes to take care of their families, legal or not. I come from a community of resiliency, and perseverance. I come from a community where moral values are engrained, manners are a must, and common sense is survival. I come from a community where heads are held high and giving up is not an option. I come from a community of hope, where every generation gets a little closer to economic freedom. In my community I am the exception. I am the boy who defeated the odds, steered clear of jail and drugs, and made it to college. I want to be an example to the children who go through the same things that I did growing up, and show them that they are more than just a statistic. I want to show the elders in my community that the tough love and wisdom that they imparted in me was not wasted. I am an ambassador for my low-income, public housing community in Ann Arbor, Michigan.