Undergraduate / Our first computer program, "Hello world"; Essay for English class [4]

I read through the essay and overall its pretty good. The concepts there it just needs a little work

In the second paragraph you said that moment was extraordinary but never went into why it made you feel that way.

In the third paragraph your third sentence "I would like to help create that game..." could be broken up into sentences instead of being separated by commas.

In the last two paragraphs you could talk about why you chose to work at those places. What the websites were developed for and the types of methods you learned while you were there.

Undergraduate / "We are not like white people - she can endure this." NYU Supplement (Transfer student) [3]

I read through your paper numerous times. Its concise and to the point with each paragraph transitioning smoothly to the next. You addressed the questions in the prompt and covered the reason why you and the school are a perfect fit.

The "We are not like white people..." really caught my attention and shows your reason for choosing NYU for Public Health.