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Posts by Barrera77
Name: Manuel Barrera
Joined: Mar 1, 2015
Last Post: Mar 5, 2015
Threads: 1
Posts: 4  
Likes: 1
From: Mexico
School: UNAM

Displayed posts: 5
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Barrera77   
Mar 2, 2015
Undergraduate / Georgetown Transfer Essay: Asian American Identity Crisis [2]

Hello dendenkim, pretty good essay but as EF_Sheri said do not over use the humor on your essay otherwise you might start sounding somewhat sarcastic, juts remember that you are dealing with a group of professionals such as the committee, not having a casual conversation with a group of classmates. So I would really suggest you to be as formal as possible.

My writing skills are a bit rusty It's really been a long time since I wrote something, but I allowed myself to make a few changes on your last paragraph, and this is how I would say it:

I really love and appreciate all of the friends and unforgettable experiences I have had during my life here at the University of Maryland, but attending Georgetown would represent a real challenge for me, both intellectually and socially, which could help me to grow up as an individual and eventually become a better version of myself. As Benjamin Franklin said, "without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement, and success have no meaning."[ (I apologize for the cliché end-of-essay quote but it seemed exceptionally apropos) I wouldn't apologize for the phrase because actually I think it helps you to support your reasons of why you would like to attend Geaorgetown ]. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Good luck!
Barrera77   
Mar 2, 2015
Writing Feedback / I do not agree to follow the same curriculum through all that period of time; GRE essay [7]

Hello Zihni92 thanks for your reply.

1. I don't know if the IELTS includes that question, I actually got it from the GRE Analytical Writing Issue Essay.

2. Yes that's the complete question

3. I wanted to state the opposite of "don't want", but I guess you are right it doesn't sound correct, sounds a bit more like urban English

4. Well actually I was taking a look on the suggestions anthonynguyen made and "humans" doesn't make much sense there, I nee to make a little more research on that phrase, because my native language is Spanish and it makes perfect sense using it, but doesn't seem to be the case in English for this phrase.

Thank you for your comments!
Barrera77   
Mar 1, 2015
Writing Feedback / I do not agree to follow the same curriculum through all that period of time; GRE essay [7]

Hi, it's being a long time since I have written an essay in English I'm a bit rusty, but I will have to take GRE Exam for my masters and I found some of the sample questions. Here is my answer to this question, can anyone help me to see if I'm in the right path? Thanks in advance.

A nation should require all of its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college

Education plays a very important role in our development as part of the society as it helps us to create our own identity, to identify what do we like, what do we want, and what are we good at.

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