Posts by tamnguyen

tamnguyen

Apr 17, 2015

Writing Feedback / People's lives are the result of the choices they make - examples in people and in the literature. [3]

Hello amytsai, I think your essay is great! It has a charm. I am attracted by your title, so base on your essay, I rewrite another essay. I hope can extend your essay.

I would like to begin with a story. There was a boy. He expressed an interest in nature. Regrettably, his father wanted him to learn medicine, but the boy was completely uninterested in medicine. Therefore he decided to drop out of school after 2 years without graduated certificate. Because of this decision, it not only change his future, but it also change the future of the world. The person that I want to talk about is Charles Darwin - father of evolutionary theory. It is assumed that God created man and everyone who was born has a destiny, but I don't think so. I suppose that we were born and our destiny rest on our decision. Another paradigm is depicted in history. In 1812, Napoleon decided to invade Russia. However, contrary to his plans, this aggression failed miserably. It is considered as one of the most disastrous battles of history.

From the quintessential attributes above, we can fathom that people's lives are the result of their choices. It is not destiny.

I would give you an " A" too. I think you should use the real examples. Anyway, I love this essay!

tamnguyen

Apr 14, 2015

Writing Feedback / Combine studying with playing in education children is necessary [3]

Hello everyone! This is the first time I write in essay forum. I hope you guys can help me.

Nowadays children have to study very hard than before's. Not only at school, but also at the cramming school. I know study is important, but playing is important too. Therefore, if we can combine studying with playing, it will be better for our children.

Actually, children must study a lot of things now. All of the days, they only study. Don't have a lot of time to play. If they always learn like that, there are many bad things come to them. Firstly, it is very bad to get stressed and can have a bad effect on children's health. Secondly, their creative ability will be limited and they can get low-minded. On the contrary, if they both play and study, they can promote all of their ability. For example, when they learn English or something like that I think interesting games should be integrated in. Although they are studying, like playing. One more example, when teaching history, we should tell student some interesting story that's relative with history. Don't focus on theory too much.

In my opinion, today children must learn a lot of things but they are not really better than previous people. To summarize, we should combine studying with playing to teach for children.

I know my post do not have a lot of new words, I wanna learn good vocabulary and the way writings that make my paragraph is better. Thank you very much.

@ tamnguyen