Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by thequeenbey
Name: Jada Peten
Joined: May 4, 2015
Last Post: May 4, 2015
Threads: 1
Posts: 3  
From: United States of America
School: Bentonville High School

Displayed posts: 4
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thequeenbey   
May 4, 2015
Scholarship / I live in a place called Bentonville, Arkansas. How this neighborhood impacts on me? WOW Essay. [2]

WOW essay prompt: Describe your neighborhood and how it impacts who you are. Please limit your response to 300 words.

I live in a place called Bentonville, Arkansas. If anyone has ever heard of Bentonville, it's usually because of Wal-Mart. Our town is in the midst of it's own cultural, economical, and residential boom. It's also the most diverse town I have ever lived in. You can find all different types of food, people, parks, and other activities. Not only is Bentonville diverse in its activities and people, it's also diverse in it's landscape. I had never been to a city that can be urban-suburban on one half, then on the next half, be all country. That's exactly how Bentonville is. Even though the town is growing, it still has it's farmers roots. It's like everything in Bentonville works together to keep the city growing and thriving. This mutualistic relationship impacted me heavily because I grew up in a very small town and didn't know I had many options for education and recreation. In Bald Knob, where I originally moved from, everyone knows each other, we all go to the same school in the same area until we graduate from high school. There weren't many advancement opportunities for education, everyone had the same classes and I wasn't being challenged, everything was easy and I wasn't excited to go to school. That was until I moved to Bentonville. Bentonville High School is a nationally ranked school, not only that, it has a wide range of classes and even specific professions to choose from. I definitely know that I want to work in the medical field after taking the really in depth medical courses that Bentonville has to offer. I feel like I've grown almost as much as the city and that's really important and I feel prepared for the world in ways I would not have in a smaller town.
thequeenbey   
May 4, 2015
Writing Feedback / Extinction of some languages can cause serious problems [2]

You need to give some real life examples of how the extinction of specific languages have affected cultures throughout the world. Also your sentence structure needs to be strengthened. Also, work on basic grammatical skills and strengthen your argument as a whole.
thequeenbey   
May 4, 2015
Scholarship / SOS - Family and Consumer Science SCHOLARSHIP Essay [2]

it is not my Chemistry or World History classes.
The last sentence of the last paragraph isn't necessary. It's repetitive. Overall, you need to elaborate on way you feel like you deserve the scholarship, I feel like I just read a description of the classes and not about how taking them helps you in your life. Also, you need to be more personal in the essay, because I didn't really get an emotional feel from reading it.
thequeenbey   
May 4, 2015
Writing Feedback / I saw an adorable girl smiled at me. God.. she was Pimchanok Luevisadpaibul, Nam. Narrative writing. [3]

Thanks Thailand, I met Nam!

Three years ago, I wrote some wordsa letter to Nam that said Ido want to meet you. It was an unbelieveable thing, but it was a simply memorable one. What did I ?

Yes, If you are a Thai movie lover, you must have knownseen this popular movie called Crazy Little Thing Called Love. I watched it and it growth my feelingit caused me to have extreme curiousness curiosity (you need to elaborate on this). It was anthe most amazing movie ever! I decided to go to Thailand a week after watching that movie. My friends thought that I was a crazy boy and just wasted the time I was just wasting my time. I just laughed, it was a compliment. By chance, I had a Facebook Thai friend, named Aom. She works in one of off-air talk show programs on TV there. After I told her what I wanted, she firstly respondsed with a few of doubtfulness. I finally persuaded her to be able to make a deal with it and it worked . Everything was arranged very well. At 09.11 p.m, finally I arrived in Bangkok. I got a message that said the actress, Nam, could not come to the show because she had to leave for something urgent. I was so shocked and blushed and wondered why, but I preferred to be angry toat my suitcase than Aom. After thatBut, when I turned backaround, I saw an adorable girl smileding at me.

God.And itshe was Pimchanok Luevisadpaibul, Nam. I was very embarrassed and excitinged. I felt like I wanted to jump and jump! Thanks Aom, andthanks Thailand for giving me the best day with my idol.I got my best one-day trip with the idol!
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