WOW essay prompt: Describe your neighborhood and how it impacts who you are. Please limit your response to 300 words.
I live in a place called Bentonville, Arkansas. If anyone has ever heard of Bentonville, it's usually because of Wal-Mart. Our town is in the midst of it's own cultural, economical, and residential boom. It's also the most diverse town I have ever lived in. You can find all different types of food, people, parks, and other activities. Not only is Bentonville diverse in its activities and people, it's also diverse in it's landscape. I had never been to a city that can be urban-suburban on one half, then on the next half, be all country. That's exactly how Bentonville is. Even though the town is growing, it still has it's farmers roots. It's like everything in Bentonville works together to keep the city growing and thriving. This mutualistic relationship impacted me heavily because I grew up in a very small town and didn't know I had many options for education and recreation. In Bald Knob, where I originally moved from, everyone knows each other, we all go to the same school in the same area until we graduate from high school. There weren't many advancement opportunities for education, everyone had the same classes and I wasn't being challenged, everything was easy and I wasn't excited to go to school. That was until I moved to Bentonville. Bentonville High School is a nationally ranked school, not only that, it has a wide range of classes and even specific professions to choose from. I definitely know that I want to work in the medical field after taking the really in depth medical courses that Bentonville has to offer. I feel like I've grown almost as much as the city and that's really important and I feel prepared for the world in ways I would not have in a smaller town.
You use the contraction it's but change it to "its" because you are referring to the town. Also, change it's to "its" when you discuss the landscape of the town. I understand what you mean when you mention an urban-suburban area. However, I need you to change this so it can be easily understood. Ex: I had never been to a city in which half of the town seems to be rural or country. In contrast, the other half is urban or suburban. (You don't have to use these words but by separating the two thoughts, hopefully the reader will be able to understand how you describe the town).
You need to start a new paragraph when you discuss that Bentonville has its farmers roots. Also, change it's to its before farmer's roots. I think you can say mutual relationship. Place a semicolon here: In Bald Knob... everyone knows each other; we all go..." I think you have three sentences that you have joined with commas. If you want to make a small change you should at least make this a separate sentence: "Everything was easy and I wasn't excited to go to school." Change this sentence to: "Bentonville High School is a nationally ranked school with a wide..." Start a new paragraph with this sentence.
The last sentence in this essay you should separate into two sentences. Once sentence begins with: I feel like I've grown... The next sentence begins with: I feel prepared for...
