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Posts by CalamityJane
Joined: Jul 15, 2009
Last Post: Jul 24, 2009
Threads: 1
Posts: 13  


Displayed posts: 14
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CalamityJane   
Jul 24, 2009
Essays / Similarities between myself and any vegetable [17]

Awesome! Not to mention the fact that the english teacher's head would spin from all of the scientific jargon.

Elmy, did you ever discover what vegetable you resemble most? I find that some people come across as carrots or celery. I had a friend that could easily be a green bean (string bean).

Simone, what did you come up with?
CalamityJane   
Jul 22, 2009
Essays / Pro Con Analysis (Immigrants to Learn English) [19]

Thanks again Simone, I really appreciate your help. You and Sean have given me a lot of great info and I will continue to use this site. Actually since my class was an online class I gave this address to a lot of students so maybe they'll be coming here too.

I may have ruined my essay, but I added a paragraph listing a few interesting details about the death penalty that appeal to one side or the other, such as the Supreme Court deciding that the constitution protects people from the death penalty if they were convicted of a one on one crime where their victim wasn't killed. Anyway, I know your advice has helped me to look at my writing a bit differently. Gee it is a learning process.

I will be writing for the rest of my life so I will be posting again.

Thanks :)
CalamityJane   
Jul 21, 2009
Grammar, Usage / Good words flagged as bad by spell checkers [15]

Notoman, perhaps the spell checker is having trouble with Claymation because it is a product name or company name. Although like post-it notes, kleenex, and jello are now household names so I suppose that claymation might also be the household name.

By the way kleenex is flagged unless it is spelled with a K. Claymation is flagged either way.
CalamityJane   
Jul 21, 2009
Essays / Pro Con Analysis (Immigrants to Learn English) [19]

Hi Simone, sorry, I guess what I said about the conclusion above was buried. I have now had time to fix it. Here you go. The last two paragraphs are these. I borrowed the cage statement from Sean.

Given the gulf of opinions that span one from one philosophy to the other there do not seem to be any good options for resolving this conflict. The status quo has been left to a debate about whether to execute a condemned individual or require that person to serve a lifetime sentence. To add to the confusion are the issues of: overcrowded jails and precedent set by court determinations. Each of these issues stokes the fire under the side of the debate that is in favor of executing prisoners. The one side further motivates the other to more ardently defend the anti-death sentence ideology.

The resulting conclusion that one can reach to the conflict brought by the death penalty is that there is no real resolution. Individuals who are deeply tied to their beliefs strongly favor one ideology over the other. When it comes to the question of sentencing criminals to be put to death there is no clear answer. It is in the interest of justice to keep criminals from reoffending. Until a solution becomes apparent, justice will continue to be served through execution or spending the rest of life in a cage.

Thanks for the help on the Works Cited. I fixed them.

By the way, I like your suggestions in the last paragraph, but if I followed them wouldn't I be taking a side? Obviously stopping executions is what the cons want, how would that appease the pros?

Lastly... how do I get used to the tone of people reviewing my work? Will I ever get calloused enough to accept that someone isn't as irritated as they sound? I mean, I know the tone of your post must not be angry, but it sounds like it. When will I get over that?
CalamityJane   
Jul 21, 2009
Essays / CBEST exam topic ideas? [12]

Say, thanks for asking this question. I am also new and had no idea about the CBEST, but I live in Oregon so I may want to take this sometime.

Anyway, I had an idea about how you can prepare for this test, but it would take a little of your time. The book I'm using for my college writing class there are all kinds of sample questions that go with different readings. You might be able to get something similar at the library or just samples online. The book I am using is called "Patterns for a Purpose." The questions are actually related to different essays but they would keep you in the habit of writing answers using the writing styles that the CBEST is going to require.

According to Wikipedia the scoring is based on the following areas. My course book is designed to strengthen these areas.

CBEST Writing Score Scale
1- Rhetorical Force
2- Organization
3- Support and Development
4- Usage
5- Structure and conventions
6- Appropriateness

Personally it still takes me about an hour to write a three paragraph essay answering one question about something I read so I would have to do this a lot to get down to 1/2 hour for each.

Best of luck on your test.
CalamityJane   
Jul 21, 2009
Essays / Pro Con Analysis (Immigrants to Learn English) [19]

Simone. It turns out the teacher doesn't follow the outline either because she says I don't spend enough time on the issues (the outline only addresses the issues in two places of the 12). I have asked why we have a model outline if we are not expected to follow it, but I doubt I'll get an answer before tomorrow. I am attempting to remove the rambling, but I think I ramble because I can't have an opinion and so I'm afraid to be too specific about either side.

Sean: If I had been allowed to have an opinion I would have used the story about that guy (Case) who was on death row for murder, but released last month and then arrested last weekend for another murder. I have updated my essay and added more statistics. I am afraid that too many will make it look like a research paper or a slanted opinion.

Here is what my instructor says.

"Controversies surrounding application of the death penalty in the United States continue to surge because of differing ideologies about whether humans can choose to end a life. You're staying vague. What is at stake? What is the issue? I'm not sure "choice" is the right word to use. (And I wouldn't use Surge.) Isn't the issue that the death penalty is inherently biased in the sense that we simply cannot find an utterly fair and impartial means of applying it? States like OR almost never use it; in Texas the death penalty is the state sport.

"You really don't move to a section assessing the conflict. You have ONE P where you even address this at all. That's the heart of this essay.

"Don't end on rhetorical questions. That seems to me a cop-out given this topic. If you ask a question, answer it. You spend much more time on set-up than on the assessment of the issue. I would develop the second half of the essay much more."

One thing that confuses me is do I have to have a good solution? There are some issues that are simply too complex to resolve. I thought that by showing the reader that the issue causes too much emotional reaction, I would exempt myself from having to provide a solution.

I also get the feeling that she doesn't like the Texas way of doing things. Well that is having an opinion.

I have done my best to follow everyone's recommendations, but I am having trouble losing the questions in the conclusion. Sorry this is so long. Thank you again so much.

The Death Penalty Controversy in America
The Universal Declaration of Human Rights states, "Everyone has the right to life, liberty, and security of person." The U.S. Declaration of Independence reads that "all Men" have a right to "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness." Modern understanding of the term "all Men" leads a person to conclude that this declaration is for everyone. This begs the following questions, at what point does a person lose these rights and who decides when to end a person's life? Controversies surrounding application of the death penalty in the United States result from differing ideologies about whether humans have the right to end a life.

It was a rainy Monday morning in Portland, Oregon in February of 1994. Just two days after I had returned from a week long, student trip to Washington D.C., to study government. I struggled to get out of bed, still jet-lagged, and headed to another exciting day of high school. My early Civics class had been cancelled after our trip, to Washington so it would be much later that day before I realized what was taking place. As I rode the city bus and walked down the long sidewalk, past the football field, and up to the school an important piece of controversial history was being made. U.S. Supreme Court Justice, Antonin Scalia was making a written statement about a prominent death penalty case called "Callins v. Collins." Justice Scalia was upholding the Death Penalty saying that all the required provisions had been met in the case to honor the Fifth and Eighth Amendments. Justice Scalia observed that death by lethal injection of Callins was far preferable than the heinous ways that certain victims had died at the hand of other death row inmates. This decision came just one day before the scheduled execution and the very next day, somewhere in Texas, Callins was put to death.

In the U.S. there are two major schools of thought with regard to the death penalty. One side declares that removing the individual right to life is inhumane because it lacks compassion for that individual. The other believes that the death penalty is not a question of humanity, rather once one individual has infringed upon another's rights, to "life, liberty, and security" then the offender's rights end. The pro side further believes that if a person demonstrates compassion it is because one both condones criminal acts and disregards the victims, or one is weak in applying the law. Both arguments are equally impassive because they are based on ideology and statics are skewed rather than taking a neutral stance.

As a result of firmly held opinions the American people must rely heavily on the court system to sort out differences, which can take years. Using evidence and precedent courts determine whether or not an individual is guilty and how likely they are to re-commit a crime. Then based on that determination the court decides whether the person would best serve society by a lengthy prison sentence or by being put to death. After the sentence is given the condemned persons can spend years appealing for a stay of execution, which may or may not be granted. The individuals most affected by this process are the condemned and their victims. In many instances the victim is no longer alive, but there are cases in which the victim watches for the sentence to be carried out, while the condemned individual awaits reprieve.

For those who are opposed to employment of the death penalty, the moral question of human intervention to life is really about whether the death penalty is "cruel and unusual." Opponents argue ardently that it is inhumane to use methods such as electrocution, hanging, gas chamber, or the firing squad; although lethal injection is the preferred method in all states. Botched executions are also a real point to consider when examining the "cruel and unusual" argument. One other talking point used by the anti-death penalty side is that it is irreversible and that individuals who are not actually guilty could be put to death by mistake. This fear can be substantiated by the number of innocent people who have been released from death row. In the state of Texas, for example, which has the highest rate of carrying out a death sentence in the U.S., the Death Penalty Information website shows that since 1974, nine innocent individuals have been freed.

On the opposite spectrum the philosophy that justice is served through execution is the essential argument to the pro death penalty movement. Proponents say that the recidivism rate, or tendency to reoffend, for those who have committed felonies is very high. This can be supported by an on-line document from the State of Washington Sentencing Guidelines Commission from 2004, in which it says that during that year approximately 81% of convicted males and 61.5% of convicted females "had a history of one or more prior offenses." Another example of recidivism is from the Criminal Offender Statics on the Bureau of Justice Statistics website, which says that "within 3 years of release, 2.5% of released rapists were rearrested for another rape, and 1.2% of those who had served time for homicide were arrested for a new homicide." A second argument often used is that sentencing of criminals, including those given the death penalty, needs to be carried out so that victims and their families can feel at peace about crimes perpetrated on them.

There do not seem to be any good options for resolving this conflict. The status quo has been left to a debate about whether to execute a condemned individual or require that person to serve a lifetime sentence. To add to the confusion are the issues of: overcrowded jails and precedent set by court determinations. Each of these issues stokes the fire under the side of the debate that is in favor of executing prisoners. The one side further motivates the other to more ardently defend the anti-death sentence ideology.

The resulting conclusion that one can reach to the conflict brought by the death penalty is that there is no real resolution. Individuals who are deeply tied to their beliefs strongly favor one ideology over the other. When it comes to the question of sentencing criminals to be put to death these questions remain unanswered. Is it in the interest of humanity to decide to end one life to avenge another? Or for the sake of humanity does the condemned individual deserve to live, but live locked away?

Works Cited

Unknown. Recidivism of Adult Felons 2004. Sentencing Guidelines Commission, State of Washington.

Unknown. State by State Database. Death Penalty Information Center.

Unknown. Criminal Offender Statistics. U.S. Department of Justice: Office of Programs, Bureau of Statistics.
CalamityJane   
Jul 20, 2009
Essays / Similarities between myself and any vegetable [17]

This seems like a really cool essay topic. I could easily see myself as an eggplant. For shape reasons and because I consider myself withdrawn like the deep purple color. But I'm not bitter. Okay so my version is very simple, but that is how I get in touch with the subject. I try to relate some element of myself and then it gets easier.
CalamityJane   
Jul 20, 2009
Essays / Basic advises...for Clep Essay [7]

I just wrote an essay that I am still trying to get critiqued, but the subject was pro/con of a controversial issue without taking a side. People here helped me look at the issues by deciding what is the actual line that devides each side. Each side may have a reason for its arguments, but there is a fundamental difference between the two sides. That is how I stayed neutral as well. I only talked about the issues and their relation to one another rather than my feelings about either.

Best of luck!
CalamityJane   
Jul 20, 2009
Essays / Pro Con Analysis (Immigrants to Learn English) [19]

So I have decided to go a different direction. My final draft is due on Wednesday morning, 9 a.m. pacific time so I do not have much time to revise. I would really enjoy feedback though. Prior to reading my essay, this is the essential outline provided by my instructor. My commentary is in (parenthesis).

Model Outline:
Intro with Thesis
Describe the Problem
Define Key Terms (not necessary in this essay)
Narrative/Anecdote
Why do we have this problem?
Whom does it affect?
Why is this problem so important?
What is at stake with this issue?
What are they key values on the two sides? Just give me a couple.
Can this disagreement be solved? If so, how? If not, why not?
What are the implications of this disagreement for those involved and for others?
What can we learn about resolving conflict from this issue?
Conclude

I did cut out a few items from this list. Once again, I am not permitted to have an opinion in this essay. Please let me know if I do a good job of staying neutral. Thank you in advance for your help.
CalamityJane   
Jul 16, 2009
Essays / Pro Con Analysis (Immigrants to Learn English) [19]

I'm okay with changing the topic of my essay to find appropriate thesis statements and supporting paragraphs.

So, granted I got my information from wikipedia when I looked up "social cohesion" so this is a shot in the dark.

If the issue of immigrants learning English or not is one of social cohesion, the pro argument is that to live in the U.S. one needs to abide by "social order" and learn English. While the con argument says that "material conditions" are the purpose for moving to the U.S. and social order is not a priority. Those material conditions can be substantiated by the fact the the U.S. recruits people from other countries for certain skills (i.e. computer, scientific, and medical capabilities).
CalamityJane   
Jul 16, 2009
Essays / Pro Con Analysis (Immigrants to Learn English) [19]

So if I take the standpoint that the resistance to learn English is fueled by immigrant sentiments that Americans in general are anti-immigrant, is that attending more to the "philosophical underpinnings?"

For example, if I were to write about the Civl War, the North may argue that the war is about slave rights, while the South defends the war as a fight for state government rights. Each faction is convinced of the validity of its own cause, but neither side is involved for the same reason.
CalamityJane   
Jul 15, 2009
Essays / Pro Con Analysis (Immigrants to Learn English) [19]

The observations that both of you have provided are helpful, thank you.

I was afraid that my examples were weak and I am starting to see that I might need to subscribe to a literary magazine so that I can practice better critical reading skills. Hopefully this would lead to better critical writing skills.

Anything either of you could suggest that would help me improve in these areas?

About the essay...

Apart from the pro's cited by Simone, are my pro's okay? How about,

~ Immigrants who do not learn English create barriers in being able to communicate.
~ Limited ability to communicate of non-English speakers becomes a hazard for daily survival, such as driving and police action.
~ The trend toward a dual-language society creates a potential for dispute over political control.

The ability to communicate seems to be my value for the pro's, but I am not so sure that it would be the value for the con's. It seems realistic to include illegal immigrants in my con's arguments because they live here (and I'm not supposed to show a side). Below I have reworked my con's. What do you think now?

New con's
~ There is no viable way to enforce attendance of classes and practical application of English.
~ Immigrants arriving in the United States regularly have a need to obtain income and choose to work rather than attend English classes.

If I have an unbalanced number of pro's and con's will that look like I prefer one argument to the other? I think it might show that I am more familiar with the other side, which may be equally damaging to my grade.

Thank you all very much for your help. I look forward to learning how to be a more accomplished writer.
CalamityJane   
Jul 15, 2009
Essays / Pro Con Analysis (Immigrants to Learn English) [19]

My final paper this term is a pro/con analysis. Essentially I am to talk about an issue without taking a side, kind of like a reporter. Unfortunately, the other threads I have read have talked about how to create a persuasive pro/con essay. I am having trouble being sure that I understand how to argue the sides.

I have chosen the subject of "Requiring Immigrants to Learn English." This paper will be clear about this being in the U.S. and I have a list of pros and cons, however I wonder if these will make a big enough contrast between sides. Here is the list.

Pros:
~It is difficult to communicate with those who don't speak English.
~Inability to communicate can create dangerous situations (i.e. driving, police action)
~Other countries require immigrants to learn their national language, so should we.
~People who don't speak English must be illegal.
~By losing control of the language we will lose political control.

Cons:
~Many immigrants are refugees and are struggling to find their identity.
~First Generation immigrants have the most difficulty assimilating.
~Immigrants who have to choose between work and school will choose work.
~Social and living environments do not foster the need to learn English.

Note: I am not supposed to give the idea to the reader that I have an opinion either direction.

I am also struggling with my thesis statement, but this is what I have so far. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Thesis: Forcing immigrants to learn English in America is a hot subject because Americans cannot agree on whether or not this is a reasonable requirement.
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