Writing Feedback / Describe a book that you believe is the most useful to you. The essay of TOEFL. [4]

Hello there, I really found your essay interesting. I actually think that I will read this book as it is what I dreamed for. The essay overall is great, there are minor grammar mistakes but the way you wrote it, it's fantastic and I'm really amazed.

1) There is no need for commas around the title of a book.
2) "most useful book for me", not "to me".
3) "It is a book discussing about how the world result in what it is now" - I am puzzling a bit about this sentence, I still don't understand what are you trying to say, but I believe that you meant to write that the book is explaining how the world ended up being what it is now.

4) I would remake the sentence "Africa is the origin of the human being as well as one of the nine agriculture origins" to "Africa is the first natural habitat of modern humans". I believe that agriculture has nothing to do with development in the first paragraph as you just make an overview of the book.

5) "Due to Jared Demon's way he solved at this question is so wide that" >> "The way Jared Demon solved the question is wide - (state the ways)".

6) "The most impressive part of this book is in the chapter seven, where the author was explaining about the agriculture different advantages and disadvantages of the nine agriculture origins" >> "The most impressive part of this book is its seventh chapter, where author explained all advantages and disadvantages of nine agriculture origins".

7) I'd change a comma in front of "two main factors" with two dots.
8) Place "and" between "time" and "how".
9) "you are still working" >> "you would still be working".
10) There's no need of "when" after "By the time".
11) It's "to study more", not "to study more knowledge".

Writing Feedback / Health services should accessible for every person. [3]

Hey there, overall you have a good essay. However if I were you, I'd probably start my argumentative essay by saying that every human being has right to live. I personally believe that by putting high prices on medical services governments of the world break the rule stated above. I also think that governments shall persuade their public health services to create a plan of social insurance so everyone can treat their illness by the help of a government).

Also, I have found several grammar mistakes in your essay:
1) "most of the people's still away" >> "most of the people are still far away".
2) "since the technology comes in human's life,we seen a enormous changes" >> "since the technology had come in human's life, we have seen enormous changes".

3) If I were you I would change "Probing further" to "To add on".
4) "Because of high price of this medicine pooe people do not have the ability to buy this and thats why ordinary people suffer from cancer not rich one who easily buy all these medicine" >> "Because of high price of cancer treatment, only rich are able to use them while poor have to suffer from it, eventually ending up dead".

5) It's not "accessible for", but "accessible to".