Posts by EssaywritingCai

EssaywritingCai

Jul 7, 2015

Writing Feedback / IELTS: are advantages of international exchange programs more than disadvantages? [2]

Hello everyone,
I am new here, and I find this forum very useful. This is my essay, I hope someone could proofread it for me and give me some advice, greatly appreciate.

International exchange programs for teenage school students have more advantages than disadvantages. Do you agree or disagree?

exchange programs could greatly benefit students in many aspects

International exchange programs become increasingly popular these days. Some people think that such programs have more benefits than drawbacks to students. Personally, I agrees with this idea.

Gaining an opportunity to learn a new culture and a different language would be the primary benefits of joining an international exchange program for students. As most of them would stay with local families during the program, they would most likely involve in local residents` daily lives. Through the interaction, these youngsters could have a better understanding of their destination country`s traditions and cultures. Similarly, their second language would be greatly improved because they have to spend most of the time using it to communicate.

Another advantage for exchange students would be to develop their independent abilities. Staying in an alien country, these immature minds have to deal with many problems that they would never meet in their home countries. For example, with very limited local language and few friends, they may have to confront a sense of loneliness, and how to get on with local students. By overcoming these difficulties, they could better handle many problems in future studies or careers.

International exchange programs, however, also have some negative aspects. For example, the expenditure of such programs are often expensive. For many families, especially average ones, this expense could be a great financial burden. In addition, the tradition and culture of the students` destination countries would greatly differ to their own ones, thus many of them may feel alienated and homesick.

In conclusion, although international exchange programs cause some issues, they could greatly benefit students in many aspects. For example, they offer an opportunity to these students to learn a different culture and language while improving their independence. For this reason, I believe that advantages of such programs outweigh their disadvantages.

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EssaywritingCai

Jul 6, 2015

Writing Feedback / Alternative energy sources basically require more money [3]

Admittedly,a cleaner and greener alternative power consumes more money, ~~since it is inexpensive to run, but high-priced~~ due to its expensive infrastructure . In Britain, for instance, electricity from wind costs twice as much as that from conventional sources like coal(why?) , and nearly all the wind turbines are produced(controlled ) by a single firm. This, in a fact, is ~~vulnerable~~the main contributor to ~~change~~ the high-cost of energy consumption in the capital city. As a result, the government remains the use of fossil resources to ~~extend the life of fossil resources to~~ meet ~~society's~~ countries`s energy needs.

As a result, the government remains(it seems like you are trying to say that the existence of the government is for extending the life of fossil resources to meet the energy needs.) to extend the life of fossil resources to meet society's energy needs.

Is this an IELTS essay, if so, I think the structure of paragraphs is good, you have a topic sentence, and several supporting sentence to support it. However, the supporting sentences are not very strong, I mean there are not extended well.Take P2 for example, the whole supporting sentences are off the topic sentence. In your topic sentence, you wrote new energy costs more money because of high-cost infrastructure, but in your example, you said these resources were expensive because they costed more than traditional one(you didn`t mention why) and they were dominated by a company. So, I think you should be careful about your topic sentence and supporting ones, to make sure there are relevant.

Cheers,

EssaywritingCai

Jul 6, 2015

Writing Feedback / Grading on exam or grading on participation? [4]

mM any universities and schools ~~evaluating~~evaluate their students based on both participation and exam. iI n my opinion it is better to professors to grade their students by an exam and give them available scores .

fF irst of all, nowadays almost all universities have large classes which include more than hundred students. i In this kind of classes each student can't participate onin the lesson and can be embarrassed to speak ~~ihn~~in front of the children?(you mean their classmates or lecturers).A lso professor can't listen all the students who prepared the material because of ~~limit of~~limited time.

M oreover, grading students by exam is a more efficient waytofor~~the~~ professors. T hey can cognize?(you mean assess) their students knowledge easily ~~and save~~while saving a lot of time. F or example if professor listen all the studens to grade them he/shecan be tired and get sick. A lso by litening all students ~~hen~~he/she can get nervous, and students who speak their material can get low grades because of the professors` condition .

O n the other hand, grading students based on exams can be risky. because children can cheat with each other or get a messege from the internet as nowadays all students have smart phones and as i ~~told~~mentioned schools have big classes so professor can't watch over all the students. E ven if some students can be lucky on the exam day ~~of examand~~ ,they may only get a high score without ~~knowing nothing~~learning anything .

T o sum up, both statements that course grades based on exam or based on student participation have advantages and disadvantages. but i think professors should grade their students by taking exam,which would be~~easily~~easy for both students and teachers.

Hi Buj,

I think the ideas of this essay are great; however, there are errors that affect the communication. For example, the first letter of every sentence should be capital letters, and there are many missing commas. I also notice that there are many repetitions in this article like professor, school, grade etc. keep practicing your essay writing while improving you overall English level,especially the grammar and vocabulary, I am sure you will be an excellent writer.